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I give up

(53 Posts)
Heebychick Fri 01-Aug-08 08:17:01

Ok, forgive me but i really feel i need to write this down and not feel so alone.

I am on CD 34 no AF, small bleed at CD 24-27 which i think/hope might have been implantation.

But this morning BFN.

Worst thing is i have all the pregnancy symptoms, and they are getting stronger every day.

I feel totally wiped out, very sick, boobs have grown and very sore, have tiny cramps every now and then in tummy, bloated and generally feeling terrible (but in a nice way if i was going to get the BFP)

Seeing as a test should pick up hgc 3-4 days after implantation, i am now well past this and i did a test with a 10mlu so should be very sensitive.

Now i feel at a total loss, the Dr said last time to just wait a few months and maybe it's just hormones.

But the waiting is killing me, all people can say is 'maybe next month' or 'why not wait another week'. But have they ever been in this situation when every hour i feel very 'pregnant' and don't get a BFP i feel like a total failure.

I think i am going to give up trying for number 2. This is too hard.

bluestarlavender Fri 01-Aug-08 08:22:14

Hi Heebychick,

I'm sorry you're so fed up and disappointed at the BFN. It's worse when you really believe it's going to be a BFP!

What kind of test did you use??? Lots of people seem to think ClearBlue (not the digital one) is a good one to use...

I know you think otherwise, but it could be too early, or just not enough hormone to give you a BFP yet.

I don't know what else to say, but I wanted to offer some support!

BSL x

Heebychick Fri 01-Aug-08 08:29:35

Thank you, it really helps to have someone listening.

I keep hoping that maybe it was too early, but how can it be?? I bled last wed/thurs so 9 days ago ...

i used an online test which was from Advanced Diagnostics, they are called LH advanced. they have a 10mlu so really sensitive.

Do you think i should try another one? more well known maybe?

I have kept positive all this last week so this morning was a total shock.

Maybe i'm imagining it all.
x

bluestarlavender Fri 01-Aug-08 08:41:36

I would seriously try a ClearBlue or First response tomorrow morning! I'm also sure I read on one of the threads that the 10mlu stick tests can give false negatives...but I can't remember the exact details. Plus you do also see lots of people getting negatives day after day, and then getting a BFP. When was your AF due? Are you late already?

BSL x

Heebychick Fri 01-Aug-08 08:48:48

It was due around CD30-32 so yes am late and apart from that bleed at CD 24 (which was very light and apart from an hour of quite heavy it was just spotting - totally unlike my normal period)

I hadn't read about the false negatives! i shall do a search now, thank you!

I will take your advice and get a clearblue one for tomorrow.
xx

bluestarlavender Fri 01-Aug-08 08:56:14

Good luck, hun! Let us all know how it goes!! I have my fingers crossed for you. smile

BSL x

Heebychick Fri 01-Aug-08 09:20:18

Thank you, i will be sure to report back tomorrow

xxx

Heebychick Sat 02-Aug-08 18:42:15

Hi, just to report back, i have got a clear blue test to do but am holding off for a few days to give it chance to be accurate (hoepfully)

I spoke to my Dr who said ' i would put money on you being pregnant' ! which was reassuring, she also said that according to her i would only be just 4 weeks now so it may be too early.

It's all a bit confusing to say the least but seeing as i am still getting symptoms i am still hopeful, just hope it's not an ep now.

xx

MsG Sat 02-Aug-08 20:25:52

Good luck! I think it's sensible to wait a few days. I really hope it's good news. xx

ANTagony Sat 02-Aug-08 20:37:09

I did masses of tests with DS1 but it wasn't until what turned out to be 7 weeks (calculated back from a later dating scan) that I got a positive. I had very irregular cycles so couldn't tell from that. I felt pregnant and the negatives where so odd and depressing. When your body feels it its so hard to get on with day to day life.

Probably stating the obvious but isn't first thing in the morning before you've had a drink the time that urine has highest levels of hormone because its most concentrate at that time.

I hope that it all works out for you

AbstractMouse Sat 02-Aug-08 21:04:53

I'm not trying to be negative but if you bled from cd24-27 could that have not been a light period?

I'm not sure symptoms mean a jot really sad

Heebychick Sat 02-Aug-08 23:11:52

Thank you ant, that must of been awful to wait that long for a BFP?! i wonder why it was so long? It is hard, especially as i keep going from 'i am surely' to 'i'm obviously not'

Thanks also abstract i totally understand what you are saying and yes i have thought it could of been a period (hence the title of 'i give up'!) as you can see i am quite upset by the whole thing, my cycles are always very long (32days +) so it would of been very early and to only get an hour or so of bleeding with then a couple of days of the odd spot doesn't seem like a period. So i'm not convinced.

It's more likely that i fell pregnant but maybe not carried on being pregnant.

Only time will tell, but thank you for your advice and opinions x

pgwithnumber3 Sun 03-Aug-08 08:45:36

Good luck, hope you get your BFP! Fingers crossed for you.

Heebychick Sun 03-Aug-08 10:00:31

Good morning, well even more confused now, i had a faint (very) line this morning. So am going to wait for a while before doing another one!

Eek.

Lemontart Sun 03-Aug-08 10:06:52

OOOOOOOOOH!!!!!! Faint line is good! Be quietly positive
My two lovely DDs started life as teeny tiny, need to hold it up at the window to see faint lines
good luck xxxx

Lemontart Sun 03-Aug-08 10:07:53

also, I have long cycles - 32- as much as 40 days so know all about the BFN test results. Hang in there and retest in a bit after not going to the loo for a few hours!

Heebychick Sun 03-Aug-08 12:26:31

Thank you! I am scared to get even quietly positive, it's all too up and down, i still 'feel' pregnant but won't be happy till the CB digital shouts at me PREGNANT!!

Thanks for your support, it's good to know that you have long cycles too, this would of been CD 36 as long as that bleed wasn't a light early period.

I shall wait another few days then get the CB digi out !

xx

DisenchantedPlusBump Sun 03-Aug-08 12:30:24

If you got a faint line i would do CB Digi tomorrow morning,

I got the faintest, faintest line EVER on first response and did CB didgi straiht after, and it said pregnant.

good luck

pgwithnumber3 Sun 03-Aug-08 13:40:24

Faint line is great!

Heebychick Sun 03-Aug-08 16:25:48

Thank you, i did try a digi and it said NOT PG so think i might be imagining it. I'll wait a few days i think.

I might be imagining it but think i feel less sicky and boobs hurt less today ...

Heebychick Tue 05-Aug-08 15:28:14

Hello ladies, by way of an update. I am feeling totally rotten today, very sick to the point of not wanting to eat a thing (not physically sick though just feeling it) and i'm weeing more each day.

Plus to make things worse i have trapped a nerve (i think) in my back so am in agony with that too.

So with the thought that my 'symptoms' are worse i thought 'lets take a FR test. Which of course is BFN.

Dr told me to go Friday for bloods so am not able to go beforehand really.

But i feel crappy and although trying to put it out of my mind i am now worried about why i feel so ill, and for so long but clearly i'm not PG.

How is everyone else?

bluestarlavender Tue 05-Aug-08 15:45:50

Heeby - this is all so weird!! You sound PG! But I can't understand these tests!

If it's any consolation I've seen a few other people having to wait til ages after AF is due before getting a BFP!

I hope the doctor's blood test can give you some clarity as to what is going on!! I thought the faint line was pretty encouraging!

BSL x

Heebychick Tue 05-Aug-08 15:55:44

Thank you, i know it's driving me crazy! i wouldn't mind feeling so utterly rubbish if i knew a little bub was causing it but to do all these different tests and nothing is wierd.

Trouble is your mind then works overtime, EP, Cysts, worse ..... argh.

Friday seems like a long time to wait.

My friend also waited until she was 2 weeks overdue to find out so that is reassuring. But by my calculations if that bleed was in fact a period i could almost be getting to the next OV date!!!

humph.

bluestarlavender Tue 05-Aug-08 16:01:50

I think your bleed sounds too early and light for AF and it doesn't explain away your symptoms. I have no symptoms what so ever in the run up to OV...it's only once OV happens that my body goes through the changes up to AF that I feel a little PG (obviously caused by the progesterone).

Anyhow, I hope you feel a bit better soon too!

eth37 Tue 05-Aug-08 16:22:13

Hi Heebychick - just wanted to offer some support! I am also feeling the frustration with the tests - keep getting BFNs including a BFN this morning with the FR '6 days before AF due' and yet I have SUCH sore boobs, have broken out in spots (v unusual for me) and also had a some unexplained spotting last Thursday.... Aaaaaagh!! Are you getting blood taken? My AF is still not late (due tomorrow) but I do understand your frustration.... Good luck x

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