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Am I greedy/stupid to be thinking about DC4?

(5 Posts)
Mummyfor3 Thu 31-Jul-08 16:35:46

I do not wish to upset anybody posting on this topic but I was wondering if any of you were prepared to share your experiences when your family expanded from 3 to 4 children.

As you can see from my not so original nickname I am currently looking after DS3 who is 18 weeks old and lovely smilesmile.
DSs 1 and 2 are 4 and 5 years old. It took us 5 years to "make" DS1 as it took over 1 year to conceive the first time and I then had 3 miscarriages. DS2 came along a bit quicker than expected grin. Then I had a further miscarriage and now finally DS3. Much as the first year with DSs 1 and 2 was tough it is lovely that they are now such good friends and playmates for each other.

I would like to have another close sibling for DS3 but am now 42. Am I pushing my luck - well, I know I am, but is it worth it? I know ultimately I am the only person who can answer that, well, DH will get a vote too, I suppose.

Right, here is my question for you ladies: what are the practicalities of a 4th child? Never drive a "normal" car again? Unable to book holidays for family of 6? What else? I am still fully breast feeding so unlikely to conceive (also v little action, iykwim blush) but I conceived DS2 the week after I stopped BFing the last time...

Sorry, about ramble, but this is on my mind +++.

chipmonkey Thu 31-Jul-08 17:32:38

Well. I have just had ds4 and it's not too bad but I have effectively had 2 families as ds1 and ds2 are 10 and 12, ds3 is 3. We have just copme back from hols in Portugal. We are managing with 2 "normal" cars but only bcause ds1 is old enough to sit in the front seat, if all of us are travelling as a family we take both cars, but as yous are youger, you would need a gas-guzzler, I'm afraid! Are you hoping for a pink one? grin That was my motivation for no4 but got another blue one! He is adorable though!

Mummyfor3 Thu 31-Jul-08 18:14:16

"Pink one" - LOL!!

No, not aiming for the elusive girl. I am not very girly and in fact was worried when I was expecting DS1 WTF I would do with a girl blush - of all the stupid things to worry about!

I like the symmetry of 2 or 4 children and having made DS3 I feel No 4 is logical further expansion of family.

Have gas guzzler already as standard 5 seater car will not allow for 3 childseats, would you believe it!! Feel guilty about gas guzzling aspect but have to admit I just love all the space: Pram in back of car without folding it, 2 kids bikes in the back and buggy AND shopping etc etc.

I am going a bit irrational and superstitious: I have had 3 healthy children in my late 30s and early 40s, surely the gods will now see fit for something to go wrong if I keep going for more.... Irrational as I said. I have also had 4 miscarriages apart from my DCs so it may never happen anyway sad. And of course geriatric age...

Still laughing about "pink one" - brilliant!

ten10 Thu 31-Jul-08 18:35:11

I thought I would add to this post, not because I have four children but because I am one of four and thought I would give you this angle.

I loved being one of four (and still do)
my parents were both teachers so did have to scrimp and save where they could with everything,

so all clothes were handed down - but we didn't really care that we weren't in the trendiest clothes

and there were no flashy holidays to very far away places - instead we went camping, but what i call posh camping i.e. Eurocamp to France where the tent was already there as well as a table and chairs and a fridge etc.
We loved these holidays.

We only got one 'big' present each for christmas and then stockings with very cheap little pressies in - We still have a one big present policy and don't spend over £20 per person

Sometimes we would fight like cats and dogs, but essentially we loved having each other around to play with, so school holidays were not boring, ever

So I would heartily endorse having a large family

chipmonkey Thu 31-Jul-08 23:45:32

actually, the fact that I was one of four myself did help. I still don't think of four children as being a large family, especially as I'm in Ireland and larger families were the norm when I was growing up, though sadly not so much now. My aunt had 9 children and had a car with a big hatchback boot and would often have 3 children in the boot!shock But there were no laws on carseats back then!
Mummyfor3, I know what you mean about even numbers, particularly because of the age gap between ds2 and ds3. I would see ds3 looking sadly out the window after ds1 and ds2 because they were "big boys" and allowed to go out beyond our driveway! Am hoping ds4 will be a companion for him but so far he is just a rival!grin

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