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TTC baby number 3 - but can I cope with 3! Help! Any advice out there?????

(12 Posts)
frazzledoldbag34 Wed 30-Jul-08 09:12:24

Am having my Mirena taken out on Friday in order to try and conceive baby no 3. But it's now Wednesday and I'm in a panic............I do want another baby but have woken up this morning worrying about how I'll cope with :

horrid morning sickness when I already have 2 young kids and am self employed (and stressed)
breasfeeding when it does arrive (see above for reasons why I'm worried)
sleepless nights
stroppiness/jealousy from baby no2 (who is a HANDFUL)
reflux/colic (again - hideous)
££££ - IT'S JUST SO BLOODY EXPENSIVE!

But if I don't go for this third one and I've always wanted 3 kids will I regret it for the rest of my life????
Please, anyone who's been there, done that let me know your thoughts....(by the way I've always got pregnant pretty much instantly in the past so time is running out for me......)

Am I being silly? grin
Thanks in advance.

JLo2 Wed 30-Jul-08 10:02:46

Of course you're not being silly. I expect you wondered how you would cope with two when you only had one, and you managed that smile
Can only speak from my own experience, but I found going from 2 to 3 was easier than going from 1 to 2 (if that makes sense hmm) It probably depends on age gaps and all the rest, but the only 'problem' I find with having 3 is I've only got 2 hands grin

frazzledoldbag34 Wed 30-Jul-08 10:19:57

Thanks - I've heard that going from 2 to 3 is the hardest transition.....perhaps that's just other people trying to put me off????
and I did find going from 1 to 2 unexpectedly hard (although have a 5 yr age gap between them so maybe that's why?) Number 1 is a total angel.
Number 2 is an absolute handful and was a 'nightmare' baby - screamed CONSTANTLY for about 6 months - in fact still does her fair share of screaming at almost 2!
Not sure if I could survive another one like her (although love her to bits obviously)
.hmm

JLo2 Wed 30-Jul-08 10:43:55

Just thinking on a practical level. The other issues with having 3 is that things like package holidays and family tickets are all based around 2 adults and 2 children. We haven't been on a package holiday for many years.
The other practical thing is cars. Three children in car seats do not fit in the back of an average car or even most estate cars. We've refused to go down the MPV route, but it's a bit of a struggle.
Having said all of that, we've loved having 3 so much that we're now TTC No.4 grin

frazzledoldbag34 Wed 30-Jul-08 11:15:33

We don't do package hols either - tend to do our own thing so that's ok.
Have quite a big car and think by the time no 3 was born DD1 would not need a booster seat anymore (she's tall for her age) so that would also be OK.

Think I'm just generally panicking. But then it's always chaos with a new baby isn't it?
Nice to hear you've enjoyed 3.

Suspect we'll still just go for it - am thinking about an au pair or something to help out - might be a good option to help retain some sanity!!

Good luck with No4. You;re a braver woman than me!!!

madmarriedNika Wed 30-Jul-08 11:20:25

We are starting TTCing #3, in spite of a rake of possible issues, and like you I keep panicing. DD (DC2) is being a right handful right now and I worry how on earth I'll handle her and another- but I felt them same when going from 1 to 2 and although it was tough in the early days it hasn't been so bad. Just hoping I'm not jinxing us here and we go on to have laid-back, calm DC3s!

Good luck x

frazzledoldbag34 Wed 30-Jul-08 11:40:26

Oh good luck to you too. So glad to hear I'm not the only one in a panic about going from 2 to 3.

I wonder, is there anything we can do to ensure a laid-back, calm, well-behaved DC3? My first baby is (and always has been) calm. Not sure why, and why DD2 is the TOTAL OPPOSITE in every single way.

Any suggestions welcome?

Perhaps a very relaxing pregnancy filled with massages and soothing music might work? (in my dreams!!!!)
Although I do have a friend who swam every day, had massages/facials every week, did yoga and hypnotherapy throughout pregnancy and whose baby is quite chilled - so maybe there's something in it? - she's quite pampered though in every way (the mother, not the baby).

Unfortuanately I have to work to pay the mortgage so can't faff about all day with my feet up.

Anyway am waffling, better do some work!!!!!!
Good luck with your DC3!

BigBlueHat Wed 30-Jul-08 12:24:29

I found going from 2 to 3 much easier than from 1 to 2. You've done it all before so are more confident and the baby just has to fit into your already established routine. Things like morning sickness and sleepless nights are tough but remembere they don't go on forever (altho it can feel like it at the time!!)

I love having three. My youngest is 3 now and in August we are going to start trying for no 4. Try not to panic. If you really want three you'll get through all the difficult times and enjoy all the fun and madness that comes with having lots of children!

frazzledoldbag34 Wed 30-Jul-08 12:32:47

Ok - good advice. Should probably stop being such a worrier. It's just that when you feel that things are getting on to an even keel again it seems like madness to upset it all again by adding another little angel to the mix!

But then if I don't do it soon I'll be over my self-imposed age 'limit' of 35 (Downs Syndrome in the family and always said I'd never have a baby over that age). So better hurry up then.........

Seem to be lots going for number 4 at the mo! Ladies - good luck to all.

greenbeanie Wed 06-Aug-08 19:01:31

Glad to hear I am not the only one wondering about going from 2 to 3 and how I will cope etc. I think part of it is because everyone expects you to have 2 children, perhaps you don't think about it as much as going from 2 to 3. I know we automatically assumed we would have more than 1 but going from 2 to 3...scary. Decided to go for it anyway though grin

roquefortlover Wed 06-Aug-08 19:50:48

We have 3 dc and are hoping for no.4, and i would agree v strongly that 2 to 3 is much easier than 1 to 2. I found 1 to 2 surprisingly hard but 2 to 3 much much better!

Yes, the practicalities are all designed for neat 2 plus 2 families but we have managed not to buy a new car and never did packages anyway! Plus I like the idea of not fitting into a marketing box tbh...

3 is great! Go for it! grin

Oh yes, and we have found cost not too much of a factor really - I guess if you took lots of holidays by plane or were worried about hand me downs it could be but if not then I reckon you'll be fine!

mum2jai Sun 10-Aug-08 16:55:55

We had 3 in 3.5 years and it's been fab. In fact I was expecting my 4th til just recently (had late miscarriage at nearly 21 weeks - horrific) but even through that trauma having 3 was brilliant.

I always said to pals who were deliberating over no 3 that if you felt there was someone missing at your dinner table, you should go for it.

We had 2 13 months apart which was much harder work. No 3 has been a doddle - could be his temperament but I think it's more that the others do so much entertaining/helping out and, when you are experienced, they are just easier to handle.

I must admit I don't worry so much about having 3 of this age (5, 4 and 2) as having 3 teenagers....

Still after losing Jai 2 months ago, we're thinking about trying again so it can't be all bad (either that or we're completely crazy and you shouldn't trust a thing we say....).

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