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How do you cope with it?

(14 Posts)
MsG Tue 22-Jul-08 12:20:30

I just need a bit of a vent... Been trying to get pregnant for what feels like ever. Had an early miscarriage last June. Since then, my cycle has been longer and every few months, my AF comes even later than I'd expected. It's happened again this month, so of course I started getting excited and thinking I may well be pregnant. I find it hard to cope with this cycle of hope then despair each month.

We've been using the ovulation kits, but am thinking this next month of leaving that and just "going for it" 2 or 3 times a week throughout the month - might be more relaxed that way.

How do you all cope? It's so hard not to obsess about it. I find it hard cos some of my friends don't understand what it's like. I know I'm "lucky" in a way that I did have a miscarriage, because it means I can get pregnant - or could last year, anyway.

The only thing that I think helps me at all is to keep busy... x

anniemac Tue 22-Jul-08 13:04:26

Message withdrawn

tryingnottoobsess Tue 22-Jul-08 15:44:57

Hi Ms G, I don't know.... it is crap! I don't have any suggestions I just wanted to say that I totally get it, and wish I had some answers.

Counting days, waiting, hoping, worrying.... I have wasted over a year of my life being preoccupied with this rubbish, and still no signs of a flippin baby.

Good luck, and lets hope we both move on quickly!

witchandchips Tue 22-Jul-08 15:56:24

we found the ovulation kits too much pressure. Just going for it every few days from a few days after my period finished till i started to feel yuk + premenstrul (sp? blush) seemed to be much easier. To kick start this new relaxed routine we took the odd sicky from work. DS1 was in childcare, we were in bed with croissants + the papers ALL DAY. first time we did not baby dancing just relaxed + enjoyed each other. made just an amazing difference to our sex life + our relationship. Guess what after 4 months of this I got pregnant! (was trying for 2 years before)

MsG Wed 23-Jul-08 16:36:28

I think I'm going to ditch the kits... It's too much pressure and not always convenient!

Thanks, everyone... Just wondering if it's ever going to happen, to be honest.

heron22 Thu 24-Jul-08 10:57:58

hi, i completely know what you are going through. i found that getting acupuncture helped me to relax and also it boosted my natural fertility. i am now 14 weeks preg with a little boy

good luck

MsG Thu 24-Jul-08 16:01:29

Congrats heron, that's nice news! I think I do need to try something to relax. Did you have one session of acupuncture or more? I was wondering how many are advised.


heron22 Thu 24-Jul-08 19:02:15

i had one session at the start of my cycle, and then one just before ovulation, one after and that was it really.

good luck!

bamboostalks Thu 24-Jul-08 19:10:35

It's really hard isn't it. You invest so much into it and every month is another awful 'having to be optimistic about having another go next time' when all you want to do is weep and scream. The whole thing is depressing.

MsG Fri 25-Jul-08 00:25:59

It is hideous. I phoned my mum the other day and she asked how I was and I mumbled "OK" but then I burst into tears. I felt bad cos I know she worries about me, but I just needed some support I suppose.

I'm just sick of it. If only we knew we WOULD get pregnant! I wouldn't mind if I knew it would definitely happen in 3 months or 12's the not knowing that is so hard. Everyone says, "You know you can conceive" but that was over a year ago - maybe things have changed...

mel1981 Fri 25-Jul-08 00:38:21

Im trying again 2 and have bin 4 8 months, feels like 4eva. I dont really cope either just get on with it so the stress prob isnt helping at all!! I got preg 1st time in 1st month then it took me 2 years 4 2nd (ended in a stillbirth) 3rd was straight away (eneded in a miscarriage) and 4th straight away again so like u I know i can get pregnant- its just not happening.
At 1 point i was getting 2 obsessed with taking temp, filling out charts and ovulating etc so ive stopped now just rely on the basics
My mates say 'when its meant 2 happen it will' And I know they r being kind but its so frustrating!! LOL
Heron22 how much roughly does it cost 4 a session? Sounds like it mite b worth a go.

MsG Fri 25-Jul-08 00:54:59

Sorry to hear about your sad experiences, Mel. I think people don't know what to say... One of my friends said she just doesn't know what to say because she can't relate to it at all. Other people are better at giving support. I think they just do not realise what a massive deal it is.

I think I'll look into acupuncture! I could definitely do with something to help me relax.


mel1981 Fri 25-Jul-08 12:17:00

MsG I have heard bout it before that its meant 2 help alot so def sounds worth giving a go I think i'll look into it too.
My other half says were gonna try extra hard this month but dont think we can try any harder LOL!!
Hope you have sum luck soon got my fingers crossed 4 u hun.
I you need 2 chat im here. x

MsG Mon 28-Jul-08 08:10:30

Thank you, Mel! I appreciate that. Same goes to you, too.

I'm definitely ditching the kits and calendar this month...just to see if being more relaxed helps... Wish me luck. I suppose I still know in the back of my mind roughly when I'm ovulating. But I've heard of people who got pregnant at the "wrong" time too, so who knows? xx

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