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so now I'm referred to an infertility clinic, which is great, but why do I feel so miserable?

(17 Posts)
CaptainKarvol Wed 18-Jun-08 14:31:42

I?ve just got a referral to the infertility clinic for secondary infertility - anyone out there know what I should expect??

My GP has mentioned clomid, the referral is really quick (appointment on 30th June). I'm stupidly miserable about the whole thing. I know I should be happy and grateful that it's all going ahead, but I just feel sick with worry that there is some huge problem and I want to run away and hide.

wheelybug Wed 18-Jun-08 14:36:54

I think its normal to feel miserable - at least, I did/do. Was referred in January - had first appointment in mid April, had a few tests, now currently on clomid because there was nothing apparently wrong (although now there's some evidence to suggest I might have endometriosis) and I feel thoroughly miserable about the whole thing. I feel terrible everytime I go to the hospital.

I guess its not how it was meant to be and yes we're lucky something is being done but at the same time everyone else seems to manage to produce babies at the drop of a hat and its not fair (stamps foot in childish manner and throws toys out of pram).

Good luck !

wheelybug Wed 18-Jun-08 14:39:31

Oh and in terms of what to expect - my first appointment was history taking and test scheduling. Then I had an HSG and blood tests (should have had an ultra sound too but the nurse decided I didn't need one as I'd had one a year previously and had she had done the cyst which suggests I might have endo would have showed up and I'd be on a different waiting list now -arrrggghhh). Then I had to got to see a consultant who reviewed the tests and decided they didn't know what was wrong. Gave me the choice of giving clomid a whirl or going on laproscopy waiting list. Being a coward I choice the latter but probably should have gone for the former. Now trying to get back to see the consultant.....

AttilaTheMeerkat Wed 18-Jun-08 14:40:25

Secondary subfertility (I prefer to use that term rather than infertile) is more common than many people realise.

Think what you are feeling is perfectly normal tbh. Would focus on the positive aspect of this in that you will be seen quite early on rather than having to wait months.

The initial appointment will likely be a question and answer session; you as a couple should both attend this if at all possible. Both of you will subsequently need to be tested further.

HTH

Attila

luckylady74 Wed 18-Jun-08 14:41:13

You've summed it up 'want to run away and hide' facing problems is always crap. As an endemetreosis sufferer with 2 ivf attempts that produced 3 children - I can honestly say it can work out very well. Still jealous of those who have unprotected sex once and produce a baby 9 months later - bastards!!

Twiglett Wed 18-Jun-08 14:41:48

I had secondary infertility .. it's really quite common .. basically when you're pregnant your hormones get thrown up in the air and when you give birth they land any old how

OK you can expect basic tests, including blood tests at different dates of cycle and sperm test for DH/P .. there is no reason your doctor can't sort out the blood tests before you go though

Mine made me chart .. for 3 months .. putting down date of period, date of ovulation (using predictor kits) and when we had sex to see if they could rule out any basic problems ..

So second time we went in with charts she took one look and said 'luteal phase defect' .. my luteal phase was too short .. prescribed clomid (as a booster), conceived first cycle, she's 4 now and watching Winnie the Pooh as I type.

Do not worry or be miserable .. this is good step .. I was shocked that the problem was mine and not DH's who is on some pretty serious medication tbh .. but it works and many remedies can be easy

AttilaTheMeerkat Wed 18-Jun-08 14:44:31

Hi Wheelybug,

Re your comment:-

"Then I had an HSG and blood tests (should have had an ultra sound too but the nurse decided I didn't need one as I'd had one a year previously and had she had done the cyst which suggests I might have endo would have showed up and I'd be on a different waiting list now -arrrggghhh). Then I had to got to see a consultant who reviewed the tests and decided they didn't know what was wrong. Gave me the choice of giving clomid a whirl or going on laproscopy waiting list. Being a coward I choice the latter but probably should have gone for the former. Now trying to get back to see the consultant....."

Tests results over six months old should be discounted; she should have performed another u/s scan. You need up to date test results. However, that in itself would not have detected any endo deposits if they are sited in the uterine cavity as these are very small.

Do your utmost to see the cons asap. Re endometriosis clomid will not touch this if it is there (clomid should only be given if there is definitive proof there is no ovulation); also endometriosis is usually diagnosed through a laparscopy (keyhole surgery op). If endo is suspected at all a lap is often the only way to diagnose it.

HTH

Attila

CaptainKarvol Wed 18-Jun-08 14:57:47

thank you everyone. Wheelybug, it's kind of nice to know I'm not the only one with mixed up feelings. I hope you get back to see the consultant soon. Atilla, you've replied to me before, and you've always been really helpful - thank you. And Twiglett, I've been recording all my cycles for ages (and days when we had sex blush) - do you think I should take my records with me?? Luckylady, I totally agree - I've started getting a very bad reaction to 'oh no, I'm unexpectedly pg' threads, even though I know there were times in my life I would have reacted just the same way. But not at 37, with a 2 year old in need of a sibling!!

I had day 21 bloods done this month, and they showed I was unlikely to be ovulating. I was knocked for six by the blood results, and I don't know why. Maybe because I've been checking CM/position for about 10 cycles now, and I was sure I was ovulating - EWCM, SHOW cervix etc. This cycle was no different, but my progesterone was just below 30. I just feel like a guilty old bird (37) who should have binned the career and started the child bearing a lot earlier sad.

wheelybug Wed 18-Jun-08 14:57:52

attila - During my first scan to check the clomid was doing its stuff the nurse asked if I had a history of endo. She then said she thought I had an endometrial cyst on one of my ovaries. This is what I think (but correct me if wrong) would have shown up if I'd had an u/s prior to seeing the consultant who would then presumably would have recommended I went straight for a laparoscopy. However, without this info she advised that firstly I should have had an u/s (!) and secondly that given I have got pregnant easily twice (one ended in m/c 2 years ago)a laparoscopy was unlikely to reveal anything.

I have managed to bring my appt forward from 8 Oct to 3 Sept so far and will have to keep phoning for a cancellation.

Sorry to hijack Cap'n !

Twiglett Wed 18-Jun-08 15:26:14

YES take charts with you ... good for you

I conceived second at 36 .. I know how you feel ..

anniemac Mon 23-Jun-08 13:38:05

Message withdrawn

stopstressingsister Sat 19-Jul-08 14:03:30

Hi,
I have been trying to conceive for 3 years after my son was born, he took 2 months of trying!
I have had every conceivable test and nothing untoward found.
I spot between 5-8 days before period, would this mean my LP is short?
I asked my GP for progesterone pessaries, as my consultant said my levels were fine???
I am now taking 3 a day and the spotting has stopped this month, but still not pregnant.(sad)
Could someone be good enough to give me a key to the abbreviations on this site please?
Many thanks,

cece Sun 20-Jul-08 08:09:42

On the bit above the thread where it says active conversations and so on it also says acronym list. Click on that and it will tell you what it all means. smile

I have just been referred to the hospital too. Also been booked in to have 5 day and 21 day blood tests. DH doing his bit too! (although he is not to happy about it!) I think it is my age as I am 41. I have two children (alive), had 1 mc at 9 weeks and 7 months ago had a little girl at 18 and half weeks. Been trying since and no luck so my lovely GP has referred me.

A little bit nervous and puzzled as I have never had trouble before. Had 2 planned pg (easy to conceive) and 2 unplanned so wasn't expecting any problems this time. Since Dec though my periods have been rather messed up, so maybe the late mc caused something. hmm

MrsTittleMouse Sun 20-Jul-08 08:31:20

I had regular infertility, but I can understand how you feel. While it was good to have things moving, it was scary to have to make decisions, and I think that in going to the clinic you have to admit to yourself that it's very unlikely that it will happen naturally (impossible in our case). We all expect that TTC is going to be easy, and that's something that we had to let go of, before we could move on.

I was in the same situation back in 2002.(secondary infertility)
Was told by DHs doctor that i was unlikely to fall pg due to DHs semen analysis and should go down the IVF route, which would cost at least £2,500 for ICSI because we already had one child. I wasn't happy with this as we just didnt have that kind of money to spare and we already had DS1 so we knew things were working. I went back to my own GP who thankfully said there were other options to consider before IVF. He refered me to local consultant who suggested I try clomid first.
On second cycle I concieved but MC. had 2 months break then started clomid again and concieved and DS was born in 2004. When he was 10 mths old I decided to ask GP to refer me back to same consultant but thought I had better wait because I was still BF. When DS was 11 mths old I found out I was pg with DD. So I ended up with 3 children, 2 concieved naturally and the midle child with the help of clomid. Hopefully soon you will have a happy story to tellsmile

stopstressingsister Sun 20-Jul-08 10:48:08

Hi bkbk,
It is SO encourgaging to hear a success story like yours. Makes me feel there is light at the end of this long tunnel. 3 children, how wonderful.
I am going to start 2nd cycle of clomid in couple weeks, so fingers crossed

stopstressingsister Sun 20-Jul-08 11:04:17

Hi cece,
Thank you for pointing me in right direction re acronyms.
Good luck at the hospital.Dont be nervous, I felt that when I went at least something positive was being done to find the problem instead of sitting at home waiting and wondering. Blood tests/scans didn`t give any answers and likewise my DH was not too happy with his required testing!!
Maybe your body needs just a little more time to recover from the MC and your periods to settle down?
Good luck with the appointment

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