So disappointed.........

[runtus]

Got my blood test results back from the Dr's last night and found out that the Comid didn't work and I didn't ovulate this month after all. Feel really crap about it all now as I have to wait until we come back from Oz to even think about taking a nother course of Clomid and that means at least another month gone......

I know I shouldn't really complain because there are so many in a much worse situation but I am so disappointed. I really felt like we hada chance this month and I was in control a bit more. Now feel like it was all a practical joke and I was a total fool to believe it would be so easy.

DP trying to understand and being very sweet but I think he feels I'm over-reacting as the Dr did say the forst course wouldn't necesarily work. Guess I am really but I'm gutted none the less.

Why doesn't my body work??????

[munnzieb]

oh honey (((((((hugs))))))) i'm sure everything will work out fine once the clomid is properly in your system. (i'm not sure how long it takes but am assuming the longer it builds up the better?) so you never know you could have twins! not to mention thou a dec/jan baby would be a nice surprise for xmas day. (looks around hopeful of someone else helping out)

((((((hugs)))))) try not to put your body under too much pressure hon - I know it's hard, so for today at least pamper your self if you can and have a nice romatic time with DP.

And I don't think men really understand how dissapointed us girls get when our body doesn't react how we think it should, but deep down i'm sure he's just as upset as you are.

[runtus]

Thanks Munzie, I know I am over-reacting and I really shouldn't be this surprised.....think I just got my hopes up too much and now I have further to fall so to speak.

Whats so hard to bear is that before we started ttc I changed my pill as I was having break through bleeding and I specifically asked the Dr at the time if it was a good idea as we were hoping to concieve pretty soon. He said there would be no effect at all and I should go ahead. Now I know I'm not a Dr but I can't help thinking that if I have just stuck it out, this would npt be happening now.

Guess I just feel to blame more than DP

[munnzieb]

oh honey - ((((hugs))))) it's just one of those things I'm afraid, it's always easy to find someone to blame, but I don't think there nesecarily (sp) is in this case, and the more you mull it over and tourcher your self the more worked up you are gonna get. It's understandable you got your hopes up, but if you can, put this one down to experience and we'll all send you baby dust for next month.

[runtus]

I'm trying honest......got to concentrate on the fab holiday coming up and the ability to drink whilst there!

Got to move on

[Tania2]

Runtus iam so sorry to read your disappointing news. I too know what it is like when your body just doesnt work it just plain sux.

It may take a little while for the drugs to kick start your body into oving and it is so hard not to stress about it. Keep taking them and you never know your little angel above maybe just waiting to be conceived in the land down under he/she might like the aussie names you have picked out ....????? ozzie, skippy,....cant really think of anymore .

Chin up girl enjoy your holiday in oz and drink lots in the sun on our beautiful beaches.

(((((hugs))))) and LOL
Tania

[hester]

runtus, I am so sorry to hear this; you must be terribly disappointed. Nothing any of us can say will make it better, but know that we DO understand how you are feeling. One of the really horrible things about ttc is the lack of control - not knowing what is going on in your body, or what you are doing 'wrong', or whether there is a serious problem afoot or just a run of bad luck. So when we get an opportunity to do something different (like try Clomid) we hope that this will be the key that will unlock the mystery and give us some control over our bodies. Of course you built your hopes up - anyone would, in your situation. Allow yourself to feel your disappointment; you're entitled to it. Try to put a positive spin on it for yourself - you've now got a holiday in the sunshine, a great opportunity to get rested and to eat lots of good food (Australian food can be lovely and very healthy) and have close time with your dh. By the time you get back you'll be in peak condition to have another go and give your baby the best possible start in life.

But first, you are allowed a few days to cry and rant and feel despair. Use this thread for as long as you want - we are all here for you xxx

[runtus]

Oh thank you so much for your hugs and support, what I would do without everyone on MN I just don;t know. You are the only ones that really understand where I am coming from with all the ttc stresses, I'm so grateful to have you all!

My DP just called to see how I am feeling and I managed not to cry in the middle of the office - so I think I'm getting a bit better . The wicked red wine hangover I have from last night is helping to take my mind off it as well......

Right, I am going to focus on the positives now, pull myself together a bit....lovely holiday to look forward to, 3 weeks away from work, ability to drink and eat what I want.......life isn't so bad.

Going to make an appointment to see my dr next week before I go though (only got to speak on the phone briefly yesterday) and arrage the next course for when I get back.I'm taking control back again!

[jeddah]

Runtus..........life is a real bitch!

What I do know about clomid is that, it does take a couple of months to work....but this doen't stop you feeling disappointed, angry and upset!

Accept that this month is a write-off and don't be too hard on yourself or your partner, he is obviously feeling disappointed too, but showing\dealing with it in different ways.

Enjoy your holiday and get rat arsed!......and remember we are always here for you

[runtus]

Thanks Jeddah - I'm feeling a little better today and managed to pull myself together a bit.

Thanks for all the support guys - you've been fab as always

[littleweed]

runtus - know how you feel. be kind to yourself for awhile and try not to dwell on it - easier said tehn done I know but teh only way is forwards - who kows what might ahppen when you're away on holiday??!! :_))

[runtus]

Fingers crossed!