Talk sense into me...seriously losing the plot!Help!

(165 Posts)
Anonapapple Sat 01-May-21 05:51:57

We were supposed to wait a few months to ttc. I decided to track my cycles, as I havent tried to conceive for a few years and wanted to get to know my fertile days.

I had a positive opk on the 27th and it must have gone to my head, because we had sex that night and definitely didn't prevent. A few hours before, I felt something go 'pop pop pop' in my left ovary area (I always feel ovulation). I was out for a walk as I felt it, and the evening sky was so beautiful and I felt all misty eyed about creation. Everything inside me was telling me to go for it, so we did 🙈

The next day I had that feeling of panic, like 'what have I done!' 😄. Then that was replaced by an unbelievable sense of giddiness and excitement to the point I started wondering if I was going to have some kind of reverse panic attack! Honestly, I was so excited that I was nearly sick! I am a 38 year old grown up!

You see, I had thought that ttc was off the cards as my husband didnt want any more kids, but he recently changed his mind out of the blue, to my complete delight, so it's like a dream that I am able to consider another.

The problem: I am absolutely convinced that I am pregnant, or that I will be in a few days when the egg implants. The thought that I am not pregnant seems impossible. The day that I conceived I wrote in my ovulation app 'diary' that I knew it would happen that night. (I just read this back to myself and noticed how I said 'conceived', not 'had sex').

I keep wanting to tell people I'm pregnant, including my boss (to help make decisions about staffing allocations). I just had sex a few days ago! Oh, and it's a boy, as if I'm not being ridiculous enough! I have even named him!

This is totally ridiculous! There is only a 20% chance of conception each month I think, and I am sure that decreases with age. This is our first month trying! There is every reason that I will not be pregnant!

I am constantly going around with a horrible sense of giddiness and excitement that is not congruent with reality and is actually physically uncomfortable. I feel like jumping up and down and squealing with joy at many points throughout the day.

Does anyone else feel like this? I am normally a very stable, pragmatic and generally realistic (possibly overly hopeful at times) person and this is totally bonkers to me! Please, can anyone relate? Or can a very sensible mumsnetter come along and give me a stern deflation?

I actually feel like I can't do another week of this. I have felt excited to the point that I wonder will I actually faint! Smelling salts anyone????


(If, by the reasonably high chance that I am NOT pregnant, I will update this thread for any other ladies going totally bonkers to help them get a grip of themselves too! Even when I was typing that, I was saying to myself 'yeah right, as if I'm not pregnant!'.


OP’s posts: |
Mrsmujic Sat 01-May-21 12:12:27

Have you ever heard of law of attraction? Perhaps you are manifesting your dream. Good luck! Keep believing but please look after yourself if it's not the news you want in the end. ❤️

PoopMaster Sat 01-May-21 12:48:21

It's excitement! I'm the same, we out of the blue decided to try for DC3 in February and I was convinced we'd done it on the first try grin We then decided to wait and start trying again in May but have had one night of not preventing this month which it now turns out was within the 24 hours before ovulation. Needless to say I'm now convinced all over again. So completely get where you are...I'm so excited that this could actually happen and what it will mean for our 2 DC (they love babies and have asked before if they can have a younger sibling!) Keeping a lid on it all is definitely a challenge

ChickenNuggetRose Sat 01-May-21 19:56:03

I'm definitely with you here! It's my first month TTC baby 2.

I just keep convincing myself that I know I'm pregnant, then the next I'm trying not to get my hopes up then near enough straight away I just keep thinking back to me being pregnant again!

I'm 9dpo today and although I want to take a test I also don't because I'm probably not pregnant 🤣

Anonapapple Sat 01-May-21 21:33:20

@Mrsmujic thank you, I am trying to prevent a crashing disappointment that is reasonably likely.

@PoopMaster that's actually helpful to hear that you too were convinced you were pregnant, but you were wrong. That has kind of deflated the excitement, but in a good way. I feel like I am in a kind of healthier place mentally now!

@ChickenNuggetRose i am glad you understand. It's so intense!!!! I would have already taken about 5 tests by 9dpo! You are very reserved!

Ladies, my patheticness ascended to higher heights today. I found out what the fertilised egg would be doing today and did lots of Googling. Its shaped like a raspberry by now and tomorrow will be a blastocyst. I even looked at photos of 'my raspberry' and had to remind myself that I am not even pregnant, by anyone's definition, that there is no known fertilisation to have happened and that I was totally crazy for cooing over Google image pictures of pre-embryonic cells from a fertility hospital website. Its not like I have nothing else to do other than these idle, silly pursuits. Getting my period would almost be a relief in some ways.i need to seriously child out!!!

OP’s posts: |
Anonapapple Sun 02-May-21 07:00:08

I woke up at 6am feeling really groggy, culminating in me throwing up 2 hours later. I'm only 5dpo so surely it couldnt be related to pregnancy, as the baby would not have implanted yet surely?

OP’s posts: |
Moominmiss Sun 02-May-21 08:24:11


I woke up at 6am feeling really groggy, culminating in me throwing up 2 hours later. I'm only 5dpo so surely it couldnt be related to pregnancy, as the baby would not have implanted yet surely?

I’m not sure at 5dpo, that would possibly be the earliest it could happen, but I got my bfp at 8dpo and had been having nausea in the 2 days prior, plus had a blocked, stuffy nose that I’ve had in all my pregnancies, and still have now at 20 weeks!

My 8dpo was definite as I’d been using an OvuSense monitor to track my ovulation and record core body temp, plus I’d been using opk’s, and generally ‘feel’ ovulation happen.

Good luck!!!

PoopMaster Sun 02-May-21 08:28:58

Ooh that's interesting. With both DCs I had morning sickness and that was an early symptom with DC2. With DC1 and the benefit of hindsight it was being v v tired and eating all the food, but that seems to be a PMS symptom too rather helpfully.

Anonapapple Sun 02-May-21 10:02:44

Been in bed all morning. Havent been sick since but feel pretty rotten. Maybe it's a bug.
@Moominmiss I also had an achy sensation in my sinuses that I had with my first pregnancy, but I do also get that from time to time.

I feel pretty crappy guys 🥺

OP’s posts: |
PoopMaster Mon 03-May-21 20:08:17

@Anonapapple how are you feeling today? Hopefully a bit better?

I decided to do a test this morning (IC from Amazon, notoriously iffy for early testing) at 10dpo. BFN so having a glass of wine as a consolation prize but not that into it tbh. Will wait a few days to test again, like I probably should have...

Anonapapple Mon 03-May-21 20:44:16

@PoopMaster much better thank you. I was so very ill yesterday and a bit groggy today but nowhere near as bad as Sunday!

I was testing today! 6dpo! Like a total crazy woman. Bfn but of course I could 'see' a line with my 'woman's intuition', not with my physical eyes 😁😁😁. I'm such an idiot!I've actually got a headache from peering at so many stark white bfns!!!Serves me right for testing so stupidly early.

10 dpo is still pretty early to be testing (though still within the acceptable range, not like me at 6dpo!) so dont feel too disheartened. Are you sure of your ovulation? Just dont lose hope yet! You never know what's around the corner!

OP’s posts: |
24GinDrinkingOnceTheKidsInBed Mon 03-May-21 20:48:10

I get this.. every single month.

Still not pregnant- by god it’s depressing to feel so let down by your own mind.

I keep trying to tel myself it’s not going to happen so I can instead have a pleasant surprise but I can’t help but get excited every single time. I think I got the faintest of faint positive tests today but I thought that last month too.. sad

I hope you’re having better luck than I am OP. My fingers are crossed for you, but I’m keeping my toes crossed for me if you don’t mind! flowers

Anonapapple Mon 03-May-21 20:48:31

@Moominmiss did you test before 8dpo? I keep thinking I can see something so,so faint its almost imperceptible to the naked eye...and then I remember that ttc makes me lose my actual mind! Just wondering if you noticed anything beforehand.

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Rach247 Mon 03-May-21 20:50:13

Just hopping on to say I had a buzzing sensation in my uterus/that general area from the moment I must have conceived DD1. I just knew, for certain. I didn’t get positive tests until two days after my period was due but that didn’t knock my certainty! Really weird. And then it didn’t happen with DD2 so I didn’t believe I was really pregnant for such a long time....

Anonapapple Mon 03-May-21 20:51:40

@24GinDrinkingOnceTheKidsInBed oh I'm so sorry that you have had to deal with this on the regular. The prospect of being pregnant is so exciting that it's hard not to pin so much emotion on it. I will say, hand on heart, that the day I saw two pink lines for my two children were the best days of my life. Better than wedding day or even my kids being born! It's the most.amazing feeling and it feels so close but so far away too!

OP’s posts: |
Anonapapple Mon 03-May-21 20:54:22

@Rach247 that is crazy! I know they say that the body doesn't know the fertilised egg doesnt exist until implantation but I wonder if science just hasnt pinpointed the exact changes at conception or that some women are sensitive to them. I wonder is there some kind of hormone that some women recognise somehow, that causes some strange symptoms.

OP’s posts: |
Rach247 Mon 03-May-21 20:58:19

Yes, I have no rational explanation for it! I really wanted to experience it again so I could believe myself to be some incredibly enlightened, in-touch with my body earth mother, but alas no.

Keeping everything crossed for you.

PoopMaster Mon 03-May-21 21:09:36

@Anonapapple You've made me laugh at looking for a line using your "woman's intuition", that was me this morning 😂 Until I told myself to get a grip (I later fished the test out of the bin in case I'd somehow managed to misread it in the 5 mins I'd been staring at it 🙄) I even laid in bed for ages when I woke up too, to try and make the fmu extra concentrated. I am so glad you've started this thread, so my DH can be spared these details for now!

It's gonna be a loooong week

FayLiv Mon 03-May-21 22:39:17

This really made me laugh because it's all so flipping true 🤣

I only managed to dtd once in my last fertile window as partner was away working and even though I knew I wasn't pregnant convinced myself I was right up until the day of af.
I actually think I tricked myself so much into thinking I could possibly be pregnant I had nausea! I was tired, sore throat.. totally pregnant.

Absolute madness. Safe to say I will be as crazy this month. I quite enjoy it haha x

Anonapapple Tue 04-May-21 05:35:08

Will reply properly to you all later...just getting ready for work now. Did a test with FMU and couldnt see anything with my physical eyes (because theres nothing there!) but could see a very, very, VERY faint line like an overlay from my mind. It was within the time (even though it didn't exist).

I am just so convinced that something is in there that surely it must be showing the very slight level of HGC that must be in my system by now. But how could I really know this? There is every chance that this cycle is a bust. I'll test again tomorrow and see if there is a faint line that an actual eye can detect and not a totally deluded woman! Have a great day everyone smile

OP’s posts: |
SofiaAmes Tue 04-May-21 06:19:16

I knew I was pregnant within a day of conception for both my dc's. I was vomiting within a day or two of conception with both pregnancies and my breasts were swollen and I was ravenously hungry within days of conception. We had been told that my H (now ex) had no sperm (vasectomy reversal gone wrong) and were on holiday abroad so I convinced myself it was food poisoning. I finally did a home test 14 days after conception when we got back to the UK and I just couldn't deny it any longer. Home urine test was positive and then did a blood test at the GP a few days later which was a confirmation of the positive. Second time around I was still breastfeeding and hadn't gotten my period back, but knew I was pregnant within days of conception and vomiting and ravenously hungry.
Sending Good luck your way.

LovelyLion3 Tue 04-May-21 06:57:28

@Anonapapple I just want to say that this is the best post I've read on here. 😂 I absolutely love your personality...and I don't even know you. Keep manifesting it and it will happen. I wish I was as positive as you are!

Anonapapple Tue 04-May-21 09:01:28

@LovelyLion3 that is so kind of you! What a nice thing to say! It's funny you should say the stuff about manifesting- I am very familiar with it but don't practise it. I'm a Christian and know that God has a beautiful plan for my life. He hears my prayers and sometimes I dont get what I ask for because He has an even better plan up His sleeve. It's a big relief to leave it all in His hands and just trust that His plans are better for my life than mine could ever be! I do need to chill out about the pregnancy though...I just got carried away:-D I really hope that you get your BFP soon!!🥰

OP’s posts: |
Anonapapple Tue 04-May-21 09:02:49

@SofiaAmes that is couldnt have been in your head as you werent looking for it! I'm sure you were very shocked!

OP’s posts: |
Anonapapple Tue 04-May-21 10:19:44

Me again!!! Felt like my breasts were leaking milk this morning (but they werent). Am I going slowly mad!?

OP’s posts: |

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