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Can I just vent here. Feeling so sad

(14 Posts)
tanlinesgoodtimes99 Wed 18-Nov-20 21:08:35

I’ve done previous threads on here. Not sure if anyone’s seen so I’ll give a little background

Me and DH are youngish (I’m under 25) quite healthy and on our 2nd month of TTC. I’m currently in my TWW

I feel like it’s negative again I just don’t feel like I’m pregnant at all. I know the majority of women (from what I’ve heard/seen) don’t seem to know early on but yeah I just know next Saturday will be another negative test

DH keeps telling me to stop being negative and that he thinks I could be pregnant but I don’t think I am

I just feel quite sad because we said at the start of this year we’d do it. Originally planned to start to do it in April but hubby started a new job in March (needs a certain amount service to get paternity benefits), COVID put us off (which I feel stupid about now - should’ve just started as soon as we could which was June!!!) and we moved house at the end of April. So a lot happened around the time we were supposed to start and somehow we delayed until October.

This whole year all I have thought and dreamed about is becoming a mother. Every single day at least multiple an hour (while awake)

I’ve seen countless people announce their pregnancies. I’d tell myself ‘that’ll be me soon’. Me and DH talked about being pregnant by Christmas and how we’d tell our families we really hoped about doing this and now it seems just like a dream and far from a reality as if I’m not pregnant this month we won’t be able to tell anyone anything at Christmas.

Sorry if this seems a bit whiny. I know being this negative on month 2 of TTC won’t get me anywhere. I really did just want to vent as my heart aches everyday dreaming about this I feel so sad and upset and no one understands. It’s making me feel so lonely feeling like this 24/7

OP’s posts: |
tanlinesgoodtimes99 Wed 18-Nov-20 21:12:35

Also please no comments like “it could take longer if you think your feel bad now just wait” etc

I know it could take a while. My main feeling is regret for not stopping my pill in April so at least now I’d be closer to being pregnant.

OP’s posts: |
PurBal Wed 18-Nov-20 21:20:08

Vent away. Everyone's TTC journey is different. I was surprised at how difficult it can be to conceive, we are conditioned as teens that having unprotected sex will result in pregnancy and it's just not true. The reality is that there's only a 20% chance every month. We all have regrets but you can only look ahead. You can't change the past. FWIW I was convinced I was "out" the month we conceived because we missed my fertile window. And I didn't "feel pregnant".

tanlinesgoodtimes99 Wed 18-Nov-20 21:29:47

@PurBal thank you so much. I really need to it’s making me worse keeping it in

And really I feel like we were seriously misled in school! I just thought if I don’t use protection = pregnancy

But I have heard it’s 20-30% chance each month which just sounds like luck a bit and is a bit shite and upsetting!

Thank you for your words and the last bit! Filled me with a tiny bit of hope (scared to be fully hopeful) xx

OP’s posts: |
MoreCookiesPlease Wed 18-Nov-20 22:13:48


calimommy Thu 19-Nov-20 06:32:24

Hi OP, I've read your other posts, in the nicest possible way, you have tried for 2 months. That is nothing. I do appreciate your feelings, but now that you are more informed about the process and how long it might take (or might not) perhaps this is the opportunity for you to reassess your focus, sit back a little and take stock that it might happen quickly or it might take longer, but once you do your side of things, it's out of your hands. Your age is with you, even if it takes longer to conceive, which I hope it doesn't because it is a frustrating thing -TTC. You say that people around you are all announcing pregnancies, but you never know what they may have been through to get to that point. Other people's pregnancies always seem easier.
Best of luck!

joystir59 Thu 19-Nov-20 06:36:20

Not being a mother is not the end of the world and maybe something you will not be able to achieve. There are are ways to experience parenting if you wish to look into them. Being childless is not a tragedy.

joystir59 Thu 19-Nov-20 06:38:06

You are making yourself miserable. Just stop it!

Chica1990 Thu 19-Nov-20 07:16:36

Prepare yourself, get education (read books like it all starts with an egg), take supplements, cut out smoking/alcoholic/limit caffeine and start tracking your ovulation and have sex every 1-2 days before, during and after your fertile window so you have plenty of fellas hanging about for the egg. Conceiving is a numbers and luck game.

Don’t put a time limit on it like being pregnant for Christmas, you’ll only put pressure on yourself and set yourself up for disappointment. You potentially have a long way to go and you could have bumps in the road (CP, MC, Ectopic). I’ve been TTC since July 2019 and had an ectopic in October this year, this journey can be REALLY tough.

lilylauren2519 Thu 19-Nov-20 07:18:02

@joystir59 I think your comments are a little bit hurtful and unnecessary, she asked for no negativity so maybe you should refrain from commenting, she is upset and we could all do with being compassionate to others peoples feelings.

Op it is so disheartening, whether it's your first negative or seventh and if a child is what you want of course you will be upset. It's so hard to conceive and I really hope it doesn't take long for you and your husband. Try and put it to the back of your mind that's usually when it happens the most (easier said than done).

Always vent you should never bottle feelings! Stay strong OP! You've got this smile

natashaaaaa Thu 19-Nov-20 07:27:06

This was me, I was getting worked up after a few months of trying. Little did I know I ovulated on CD7 not CD14. Once I found this out I was pregnant on the first month trying on that date. Just know your body works in mysterious ways, conceiving is down to trial an error. Keep the faith and chill.

gurglebelly Thu 19-Nov-20 07:40:49

In the nicest possible way, you need to get a sense of perspective - two months is nothing. We have been trying for 3 years without success, and my only piece of advice is if you spend every TWW fretting and stressing and getting upset, is that you are going to have a very miserable time (particularly as I read somewhere the average time to conceive is around a year)

Try not to put pressure on yourself with the 'it'll be perfect if we can announce at Christmas' as that is just setting yourself up for heartbreak.

I'm sure it'll happen for you, just be patient

ivfbeenbusy Thu 19-Nov-20 07:47:56

Also as per other posts 2 months is nothing, you need to get a sense of perspective somehow and in the nicest possible way stop over thinking that because you want something it should happen straight away. You are going to put an immense amount of pressure on your relationship if you are like this after only 2 months

Izzie94 Thu 19-Nov-20 08:37:46

@tanlinesgoodtimes99 hi lovely! Hope you’re ok? I’m 26, DH, 32 and we’ve had private fertility checks (due to DH have a DC we can only have blood tests on the nhs) and all is ok and as it should be - we’re super healthy (ish, we love a takeaway 😛😂) and were in month 11!! There’s no rhythm to it, it’s certainly frustrating and I remember being really upset and down the first few months, having thought it would happen instantly like it did for friends, and DHs dc was from a very quick encounter 9 years ago we shall say 😅 have you tried OPKS? Do you know when you ovulate? They’re not for everyone but it did help me pinpoint the right days. Please please don’t be disheartened, it will happen, we’re all just on very different journeys and lots of lovely ladies on here can give you their experience and it ranges from 1 month to 2 years (even longer) and I find it helps me realise when people announce pregnancies on social media, we never know the story behind it. We just assume it happened right away. Hope it’s your month 🤍✨ stay positive x

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