2 Miscarriages - Looking for some hope

[Joan7986]

Hi all,

I am 31 and sadly had a MMC in May at 8.5 weeks after seeing a heartbeat at 6.5 weeks. Managed to get pregnant on 2nd cycle

Managed to get pregnant on 4th cycle this time but sadly had another miscarriage at 6 weeks.

I am feeling pretty down at there being no hope for us. I would love to hear some positive stories of those of you who have been through the same or anything that you did differently to have a successful pregnancy after 2+ miscarriages.

We are considering going private for some tests to be done before waiting for a 3rd but still undecided yet on what to do.

Many thanks

Xx

[Mynextname]

Quick reply, I had two consecutive miscarriages before having my son. Sometimes sadly these things just happen. Unfortunately it is more common than people realise. Please don't give up hope. I had two children before going through that but even still I began to wonder what was suddenly wrong with me. Try not to jump to conclusions you are still young.

[SuperbGorgonzola]

I had two MC in a row before my son. I was expecting to miscarry again when we tried for our second but I had another healthy pregnancy. My first MC was 9 weeks but baby had stopped growing at 5. Saw a heartbeat at 6 weeks with the second following some bleeding, and by the follow up two weeks later it had died.

The chances of miscarriage is quite high for everyone. Usually it really is just an error in the "code" which means it doesn't have the right start on a very tiny level. It's hard not to blame yourself and assume that something is wrong with you, but when you understand all the things that need to happen just right to make a baby, it blows my mind that it happens at all. You've just got to roll the dice and try to relax (easier said than done, I know).

[Christie08]

@Joan7986 I'm so sorry! I too am just going through my second miscarriage in a row. I do have one DS who 2. I have booked an appointment at a private clinic as I'm so scared to try again. My first was at 6 weeks and this time was 7 weeks the same day we seen the heartbeat. I wish you all the best and I am following this also as I too would like to hear other stories!

[Christie08]

@Mynextname @SuperbGorgonzola So good to hear positive stories! I'm in that "what is wrong with me" right now. Especially after have an easy enough pregnancy with my first.

[Joan7986]

@Mynextname and @SuperbGorgonzola - it's good to hear some positive stories. I am desperate to try and hold onto some hope.

@Christie08 it's good to hear someone in the same situation as me. Where are you thinking about getting private tests done?

We are thinking of St Mary's/Imperial in London for some initial tests but also tempted to give it one more go over the next two months before we commit. It is looking like my current most miscarriage is not as traumatic as the last one so I feel more up for trying again straight away but yet to discuss this with my husband as we wanted a few more days to process everything before we decide what to do next.

X

[Christie08]

@Joan7986 Yea I think sometimes you feel like it's only happening to you, can't believe how many people this happens to. I thought first time was just bad luck and second time now it's definitely really gotten me down and I've struggled.

Yes me and my husband were also discussing and he said it's up to me what I feel I'm up to doing and will support either choice. I'm not sure either like you, whether to attend this appointment or else give one last go? But part of me is petrified incase it is something that can be prevented. This miscarriage was more painful and traumatic than my first 😔

[pumpkinpie01]

There is hope ladies I had 4 miscarriages and I really thought it was never going to happen, but we now have a healthy 7 yr old . I remember at the time feeling so hopeless and despondent. After 3 miscarriages I thought the nhs automatically started doing tests unless that's changed.

[ivfbeenbusy]

I had 5 miscarriages and 2 ectopics and now pregnant with twins so don't give up x

[Joan7986]

@Christie08 - I am sorry this is time it's more painful than last time. Have you been off work/taken some time off?

I think even though hard, we need to try and be positive and hopeful. Whilst I don't feel like it at present, typically I am a fairly positive person and tend to think that "everything happens for a reason".

My EPU emailed me earlier this evening saying they want me in for a scan on Friday to confirm miscarriage. I don't really know if I am up to going through that again but I will speak on the phone tomorrow to them before I decide what to do.

I will let you know what we decide to do after the weekend about tests/trying again but I think if we do try one more time, I will think of taking baby aspirin from ovulation which I know some women have had better success with. I know going private is not cheap that is for sure so we would have to think about how we would afford it.

@pumpkinpie01 and @ivfbeenbusy - thanks for the positive stories and sorry for your losses also! NHS is still after 3 miscarriages I think but due to covid I have heard the waiting lists are massive. Hopefully our time will come soon! Xx

[Christie08]

@Joan7986 Yes im taking some time off work. I had a scan on Sunday which confirmed and have to go back this Sunday to check all is gone. See how you feel and have a chat with them!

Yes please keep in touch or if you ever need a chat as I know sometimes it can be lonely, no matter how much support our husbands give! I too have seen lots of stories and good outcomes with the baby aspirin, though would be worried incase I miscarried again whilst on it and bleed too much.

[Cati482]

I had three miscarriages before going on to have my two girls. All my tests came back normal, no reason was ever found for my miscarriages. Sadly I think it’s just more common than people realise. Don’t give up hope as there’s still every chance you’ll go in to have a healthy pregnancy. Xx

[Christie08]

@pumpkinpie01 @ivfbeenbusy fantastic outcomes!

Yes Nhs is referal after 3 miscarriages unless age etc.

[Bouncytree]

Thank you all for these positive stories. I’ve also had 2 miscarriages and didn’t realise I needed to hear these so much

[copperoliver]

I had 7 miscarriages and now have two lovely boys x

[Joan7986]

Thank you for all of your replies. Did you do anything differently for your successful pregnancies?

Xx

[TheGirlWithGlassFeet]

I had three consecutive. Two twins and one single pregnancy. Now have two children so it can absolutely happen. It's shit.

[Christie08]

@TheGirlWithGlassFeet that's awful but so glad you have had your rainbows! If it's ok to ask, did you have to do anything 4th time round for all to be ok?

[Mynextname]

Nothing different and even I sat there thinking what is it I need to do differently. Actually looking back this line of thought isn't helpful as you are blaming yourself without realising it when really it has nothing to do with what you do or don't do. It's not your fault.

[Cati482]

I had progesterone supplements for both my successful pregnancies. I took them up until 12 weeks. The doctor was of the mind that they wouldn’t hurt and may help. To be honest, I don’t know if they did help as I did bleed throughout my two successful pregnancies so it may just have been luck but it helped me to cope better as at least I felt I was doing something. Might be worth asking your GP about x

[Joan7986]

@Cati482 was that with your local NHS GP? I want to try and do that too on the same basis that it may help and won't do me any harm. Although I thought it unlikely my local GP would be agreeable to it.

As such, I was considering having a private consultation with a RMC with the hope that if I did get pregnant again before we started extensive testing, that they may give me a prescription for baby aspirin and progesterone so that we could have a go at that with our third pregnancy.

[TheGirlWithGlassFeet]

@christie08 no we didn't have to do anything. We were told they would only investigate if I had five miscarriages. I was told until that point as awful as it is it is more than likely just bad luck. It was really difficult at the time and I remember feeling like it wouldn't happen and not wanting to try anymore because it was just too awful. The cycle I was successful we had actually stopped trying (obviously not that well)

[Christie08]

@Joan7986 how are you doing?

[Joan7986]

@Christie08 hey! I am a little better - I think have got through the initial shock of it all and I have pretty much stopped bleeding. Didn't go to a scan in the end, the EPU said they didn't think it was needed - just need to take a test in a week or so.

How are you and your husband getting on? Weren't you going to have another scan at the weekend? I hope you guys are doing a bit better after last week.

We have chatted over the weekend and have decided to give it one more go this side of Xmas and then will have a consultation privately in the NY to discuss our options and then at that point we will decide whether to keep trying or stop for tests. My husband likes the idea of New Year, new start, and having a consultation in Jan may give us something to focus on if Covid means Jan is back to lockdown. Ovulation tests already ordered, but who knows when I will ovulate after miscarriage.

I wouldn't say I am feeling positive, but I think are both on the same page for next steps. I will take baby aspirin if I were to get pregnant again.

I told my MIL earlier on the phone, we thought it would be a good idea to let family know what has happened as the next few weeks/months are going to be hard - particularly as my original due date for my first pregnancy would be just before Christmas.

Xx

[Christie08]

@Joan7986 That's good that you didn't need to go to EPU. Still a very lonely time I feel, when going through miscarriage.

Yes I had a check up on Sunday at EPU and I have passed everything myself. Just have spotting now so hopefully another Day or 2 and that's it over. We had a really good chat with my GP and also the nurse at the EPU clinic, and we too have decided to try once more but we are going to wait until I have my first period! Great that you are both on the page, that's really important and it means you fully have the support. Would be nice if we both got our rainbow together and I hope so much that we don't have to go through this a 3rd time in a row x

[Joan7986]

@Christie08 - Pleased you had a good chat with your GP and EPU, did they give you any specific advice?

I hope you are feeling a bit better. I agree about the loneliness - I do have days when I am ok, and then days when I am on the edge and just want to have a good cry.

I am hoping to have a call with my GP tomorrow to just have a general chat about anything that can be done to avoid it happening for number 3. The only thing I am trying to do is loose a bit of weight so I have been pretty good since my miscarriage (albeit it was only a week ago!).

I have stopped bleeding completely now and feel pretty back to normal hormone wise.
I agree that I hope the next one will stick, here is to both our 3rd time lucky! Xx