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No AF and BFNs 🤷‍♀️

(294 Posts)
ImpatientMama Tue 17-Nov-20 14:24:46

Hello! We are trying for our second child and I am frustrated. I am sure several of you can relate to being frustrated with this whole TTC thing. 😅 Anyways. AF was due 3 days ago and has not shown her ugly face yet. But I have also gotten nothing but negatives (and one invalid). I was planning on not testing again until AF is a week late. Anyone get their BFP that late or even later? I am irregular, so it could just be a late period? I just want to know if I really am pregnant or not, so I can move on! Thanks for any insight you all provide! 😊

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HJen22 Tue 17-Nov-20 16:57:08

Hello! I am in the exact same position! I have been TTC since April and for the past few months have had relatively short cycles, normally 24/25 days. I am 3 days late this month with 2 BFNs. It's so frustrating isn't it, just want AF to come if not pregnant to move on and start a new month! Have you been trying for long? The only upside to this is that I'm hoping this may be the start of longer cycles, if that might help x

ImpatientMama Tue 17-Nov-20 17:43:43

@HJen22 We are on month 2 of trying, so I know its early in my journey. But, just like you, I want either for AF to show up or a BFP. It also stinks that symptoms before AF and early pregnancy symptoms are so similar! Sigh. I am just curious if anyone has gotten a BFP as late as a week past AF or later. I want to keep my hopes up but also be realistic. With my first I got the BFP on day 2 of no AF. Baby dust to you!

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lastbany Tue 17-Nov-20 17:53:03

@ImpatientMama hi yep I'm same usually 27 day cycle! No af (was due sat) cd 31 and bfn!! What test have you used? I have only used cheapos as I can't bear to spend £10 and it be a bfn!

ImpatientMama Tue 17-Nov-20 18:04:46

@lastbany I have used 3 different tests: 2 cheap ones, 1 Clearblue, and 1 First Response. All negatives and one invalid cheap one. My cycles vary which stinks, but my average is 30 days, and I am currently at day 33.

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lastbany Tue 17-Nov-20 18:06:47

@ImpatientMama so did the frer even show neg? I feel this may be positive for me then?! I have had af cramps or cramps for over 10 days now! But just no af keeps getting strong cramp then goes but still no positive was thinking I will leave till Friday which would be 6 days late then take a frer! Just think how can I possibly be preg with negative test!!

HJen22 Tue 17-Nov-20 18:08:15

@ImpatientMama I know it's so hard isn't it, after a few months of being pretty bad for symptom spotting I tried really hard this month to relax but on the lead up to AF I just can't help it! Why do they have to be so similar to PMS, I'm forever googling! I wish I was more laid back about it all, but I'm totally not. Every month I cry and am miserable for days but trying to be more positive this month! Same, I really don't want to get my hopes up; but as they say, we're not out til AF arrives!!

@lastbany I used cheap tests too, the only ones they had in the local co-op. I was going to wait as hate seeing the stark white space but thought if anything it will at least let me know AF is coming, I was losing sleep over thinking about it. I'm going to hold off until late a week to test again; with a more expensive test, when will you? Bless my BF is so positive and keeps saying I might still be but it just isn't coming up on tests yet 🤞🏻

lastbany Tue 17-Nov-20 18:17:39

@HJen22 thinking I will test Friday?! With a frer tha a week late! Thing is this will be our 4th I have two teenagers and a baby girl who will be 1 in dec, due to covid my consultant app regarding another pregnancy and when due to 3 sections wa a delayed and my doctor told me 12/18 months to wait to try when I got my consultant app over FaceTime she said no 12 months between sections! Which ment I could have been trying from 3 months!! Very annoying as due to my age and work we wanted to have babies close together so I can then drop hours at work not in a position to do yet , so we started ttc at 7 months and here we are! I spoke to my doctor at 4 months ttc (I know not a long time) but I've been very very fertile before! So was worried something wasn't right ! He was awful and said you've got 5 kids you will be fine well no I had 3 kids and 2 miscarriage he was useless! So this is really making me feel like an I aren't I? I feel I just can't be but why am I so late?!
Also this month we literally just dtd everyday for two weeks! As I'm sick of spending money on opks and preg tests it's so upsetting when you don't see what you want to!!! Also the prior month I never even got a static on opk so I was worried about tht!! Ahhhhh

ImpatientMama Tue 17-Nov-20 18:18:45

@lastbany the frer did show negative for me. This morning in fact. I've had cramping and back pain and even a little nausea which I don't usually get with AF. So I was hopeful for a positive. But nope. So I am planning on taking a break from testing, and try another test when AF hasn't shown for a week.

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lastbany Tue 17-Nov-20 18:24:14

Just tried now to see if night time urine made difference! But nope one lone with a very strange ink run! Was all over test side and I got hopes up then went to other side again is a very cheap test as can see

HJen22 Tue 17-Nov-20 18:27:52

@lastbany I'm so sorry that the doctor was so horrible! And also delayed you trying! Sorry to hear about your miscarriages also; I can't even begin to imagine how heartbreaking that is 😢 could you maybe have an appointment with another doctor? I also don't think it's ever too soon to speak to them if you are worried. My sister found out she had PCOS whilst trying for her first, and when i got a few months down the line with no BFP, along with short cycles and light periods I started to really worry. I got bloods done at the doctor (I think the only reason they let me was due to family history) which I was told came back fine. But now it's a few months later I've asked for a discussion with the doctor as I didn't get to speak to them last time, just called and got results from the receptionist. The phone call last time before the bloods, the doctor was lovely so hoping for the same one when I have my phone app next week. I know, I haven't had a cycle longer than 26 days since May!

It's so hard not to worry, and have it on your mind all the time; I truly know how you feel! And I had hoped doing no OPKs/BBT would relax me this month but now I'm worried it will change ovulation day and if we missed it!

lastbany Tue 17-Nov-20 18:33:09

@HJen22 I know so true! Well funny I booked a app online this morning with a lady doctor earliest they have is Tuesday! Although I saw there's not much they can do b it refer to fertility or gyni however of you have children you apparently aren't entitled! Very annoying! Just don't get why I am still having strong cramps just nothing comes! With my last preg I do remeber having gramps after cramps but af never arrived although I did test 2 days early with a frer! But I remebe it been very faint

HJen22 Tue 17-Nov-20 18:40:25

@lastbany my phone app is next Tuesday too! If anything I'm just hoping she can tell me what I was tested for! As I was reading there isn't just one test for PCOS. That's awful, you should get the same as anyone even if you've had children already, the waiting and the process is just as hard.

Is there a chance you ovulated later and maybe not as many dpo as you think? I'm kinda clinging onto that hope!

I was having cramps and creamy cm (sorry tmi) and sore boobs which I had last month too before AF, on the lead up to expected AF this month too but absolutely nothing now at all; not even exhausted like I usually am before AF. I avoided doing BBT as last month it was saying I had possible implantation dip and it really got my hopes up. Can't quite decide whether to do it again next month or just OPKs x

lastbany Tue 17-Nov-20 18:50:50

@HJen22 just looked back at my last pregnancy and I took a frer 2 days before in the afternoon and got a very very almost couldn't see positive next day used fmu still very faint but there and tht was when I was due af so maybe it's possible?! I thought I ovulated on day 12 when had dating scan said I ovulated day 17 I know this isn't an exact science but it's what I'm holding onto lol
I littally haven't had a day off cramps for 10 days! Usually I get day or two before
I do think I'm clutching at strawS! It's sounds awful but I really wanted to only be back at work a little while then come off on mat leave so when I go bacn I can cut hours to spend most my time we babies, I work as a a and e nurse and work 3 or shifts a week 13 hours and hate the thought of leaving her! (Due bacn jan) we can do our mat leave bacn to bacn this would have been even better

HJen22 Tue 17-Nov-20 18:56:53

@lastbany you never know, totally could have ovulated later! I'm hoping that's the case for me too!

Ouch that's a lot of cramps, not good! I really hope they ease up and result in a BFP! Have you had many cycles late? OPKs said I ovulated day 9 last month and then app predicted a 21 day cycle! Ended up being 24 which was more normal, that was another thing that had me panicking!

I totally understand you wanting to spend time with your babies, and being an A&E nurse must be an incredibly demanding job!!

lastbany Tue 17-Nov-20 19:10:34

@HJen22 especially at this time it's not the place I really want to be 😳 I went to back to work when my babies were 3/4 months old prior but I was 19 then 24 I am now 36 it's different I feel more a home bird lol and live been at home cooking and making a home we just can't afford for me to not wirk! But will cut hours to two nights shifts when I go back if I ever get preg again lol that way they won't even know I'm gone 🥰

HJen22 Tue 17-Nov-20 19:18:21

@lastbany I know, at this time too it cannot be easy, I am sure you are doing a fantastic job!

It's good to think ahead, and 2 12 hour shifts is still a lot of work!! We already talk about what we'll do, i'd go back to work 3 days if they allowed it, my BF would hopefully work a 4 day week and our parents would help out two days. I've wanted to be a mum for as long as I can remember so really hoping it happens soon. Sorry I have been unhelpful with any late BFP advise! But it's nice to chat to someone in the same position!

lastbany Tue 17-Nov-20 20:30:12

@HJen22 ye that's true! Hope we all get answers soon 😳😳

ImpatientMama Tue 17-Nov-20 20:53:42

Glad I am not alone in this craziness. Not sure what is worse an early AF or a late one. All will happen as it should.

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lastbany Tue 17-Nov-20 21:09:29

@ImpatientMama any sign of af or any more tests?

HJen22 Tue 17-Nov-20 21:12:21

@ImpatientMama I know, it's so hard! I spent 2 days thinking every time I went to the loo AF had arrived until I did a test, and even then I couldn't really decide if i wanted to do it or not, but thought either way it was best to know, I knew I'd be sad but then I'd stop wondering. But still no sign and I'm left still wondering! I have short periods so it should have been and gone and a few days til FW!

ImpatientMama Tue 17-Nov-20 21:17:07

@lastbany Nope. Current symptom is cramping, which could mean AF or pregnant. So. 😅 I am not going to test again for a few days, when it has been a week since AF was due. I am tired of seeing a negative test. The next step is one I am not sure of. If I still have a negative after a week, should I go to the doctor? If I'm not pregnant, I don't want to miss a month because I was waiting it out. And if I am pregnant, I want to know, so maybe I could get a blood test to determine it? I just don't know. 🤷‍♀️

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Lmac2018 Tue 17-Nov-20 21:17:13

Hey girls can anyone help me out with so e advice ? So have bad covid for the last 2 week's, so haven't really taken notice of symptoms. Over the weekend I got tender and full boobs. Then yesterday, my period due date, I started with thrush and it's been painful to wee and uncomfortable cramps, not painful, lower pelvic area. Since the thrush has started up I've had weird spotting kinda only when I wipe after peeing, if I don't pee there's none there and it's just a speck of stringy pink blood or tinged TP

lastbany Tue 17-Nov-20 21:25:30

@ImpatientMama I know I feel you!! The longest cycle I have ever had is 31 days then started af the next day! It was a one off cycle and I had not long been off pill after baby so put down to that I'm on day 31 so if not come tomorow will be same I ask holding out till Friday then will buy frer! I'm sure by weekend we will know either way!!

lastbany Tue 17-Nov-20 21:26:47

@Lmac2018 thrush can caus these symptoms however speak to the doctor

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