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Everyone's pregnant but me - any positivity in this?

(44 Posts)
Pregh Mon 16-Nov-20 22:39:55

Ladies,
Has anyone found some coping mechanisms and tips on how to feel good and positive about the TTC journey (which is much longer than expected) whilst literally everyone around me is pregnant or giving birth right now?!

I am very happy for them, and this is not a competition, and everyone's time will come... However... it's hard...
I want to change my mindset to feel like it's easy to get pregnant because every month is a brand new start...but we've been going for nearly two years now, we're both healthy, it's just not happened yet..and we're both getting fed up with it..we want a baby so much.
End of complaints ☺️
I am grateful we have a lovely relationship and supportive family too (although why did half of the family get pregnant this year and we did not... that's the hard bit to swallow).
Anyone feeling like this? Or anyone got any suggestions on how to feel better about this please? ❤️

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Elvesinquarantine Mon 16-Nov-20 22:44:30

Imo there are great times to be pregnant but mid pandemic isn't one of them. Honestly op, have a break. Enjoy Christmas and see how the world is after that.
Being a dm at this time is very stressful. Feeling powerless isn't great for mh.

Lou98 Mon 16-Nov-20 22:47:15

I completely understand this feeling OP, it's not an easy journey at all and one that we're definitely never prepared for!

My DP and I tried for 2 years, I had friends get pregnant, and then celebrate the babies 1st birthdays and still nothing. Even my mums had a baby in this time! (Whole other story) and it just felt like it was never going to happen. I finally thought it was our month in March after TTC for 18 months but unfortunately this ended in MC. We were devastated but decided to start trying again straight away and finally 6 months later we managed to conceive (currently 13+1 weeks so keeping everything crossed!)

There's not really much anybody can say to help ease the pain and it is even harder when so many people we know are pregnant/had babies. Have you been to a doctor for tests etc?

I had no idea when we started this journey that it would take as long as it did or be filled with as much heartache but it will all be worth it in the end, just hang in there and one day it will happen!

Lou98 Mon 16-Nov-20 22:48:39

Also OP, not saying this will work for everyone but just my experience.

As it was coming up to the year and a half mark I started reading about inositol and I decided to order the MyOva Inositol tablets. I started taking these and using conceive plus lube the month that I conceived the first time, which as mentioned above, we unfortunately lost. I stopped taking the tablets and the lube and tried for another 6 months and as nothing was happening decided to take the tablets again and use the lube and we fell pregnant that time aswell, and as said am currently 13 weeks.

Obviously I can't say for sure it was definitely them that worked but would be an amazing coincidence that the only two months I used them both was the two months I got pregnant! I figured it was worth a shot and I was willing to try anything!

Pregh Mon 16-Nov-20 22:53:11

@Elvesinquarantine thanks for this - you are right. There's so much uncertainty around us, so many doctors being stretched to their max...not having to have that extra stress is definitely something to be positive about. And i can't wait to enjoy Christmas! I am trying to lose some weight before the too, which will help with TTC too.

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Pregh Mon 16-Nov-20 22:58:00

@Lou98 woow, sounds like you've been through a lot too! So happy for your happiness now! Congratulations! Fingers crossed that all goes well to the end!!!
That's it - i had no idea the journey would be so long and to be fair we could have started trying earlier..we were quite naively thinking it would just happen, and for the firstly six months my cycle was a bit wonky too. Anyway, we are where we are and our relationship grew from it.

It sounds like a great coincidence with inositol. Haven't heard about that tbh. I'll look it up.

I've been taking Agnucaston this summer, heard good reviews on it, helping to stabilise the hormones and aid conception..but i am not sure if it made a difference to me.

Thank you!

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Angelbabies4 Mon 16-Nov-20 23:05:24

@Pregh I totally understand where you’re coming from. It’s a nightmare trying to conceive and the heartache of your period coming every month (mine doesn’t🤦🏻‍♀️) irregular periods is horrible cuz i never know when I ovulate.

I’ve used conceive plus lube as well & it definitely does work! I’ve conceived 5 times with conceive plus. I’m on my 4th bottle. Sadly 4 of those pregnancy’s ended in miscarriages.

But I personally don’t think I would have conceived without that lube iykwim

Pregh Mon 16-Nov-20 23:12:38

@Angelbabies4 sorry to hear about your losses sad thanks for sharing - I'm ordering conceive plus from Amazon right away.

We had most fertility tests done and we're both ok (i am scheduled to go for the HSG tube test next week, as the last part of the fertility investigation). So it's more or less just about finding energy to have sex often when it matters..and try to enjoy the journey. Forgetting about any pressure...and getting the lube smile

@Lou98 how much of the inositol were you taking? The dosage guidance seems all over the place...thanks

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Lou98 Mon 16-Nov-20 23:21:27

@Pregh I was specially taking the MyOva ones which the recommended amount is 4 tablets a day, however, I only took 2 a day as I was often in a rush in the morning so forgot.

I had a look at loads of different inositol tablets but that specific brand had scientific studies backing them up and I never seen a single bad review out of thousands. After coming off the pill my periods went back to how they were pre pill and were very irregular. Those tablets helped regulate my cycle and made it much easier to test ovulation etc. I honestly believe it was taking them and using the conceive plus lube that helped me fall pregnant the two months I took them

Lou98 Mon 16-Nov-20 23:22:22

MyOva myoplus - Natural Supplement for PCOS with 4000mg Myo-Inositol, 200ug Folate & 100ug Chromium - 120 Tablets - Made in The UK https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B01M0OZQHI/ref=cmsww_rcpp_apifabcc_sMWSFbEB86XQJ?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1

Lou98 Mon 16-Nov-20 23:22:47

That's the link to the ones I took if you want to have a look. I order them off Amazon but they do also have a website x

Pregh Mon 16-Nov-20 23:30:51

Thanks @Lou98. Thanks for sharing your experience, definitely sounds like they worked for you in those two months. I'll read up about this and probably give them a try! ;)

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Chica1990 Tue 17-Nov-20 07:30:07

I know how you feel. TTC since July 2019 and had an ectopic in October and loads of people around me are pregnant. They’ve even started having their babies now, it’s hard. My best friend is due to give her baby next month and I feel like she only wants to talk about baby stuff and I worry it’s out some distance between us.

I’ve read the book it all starts with an egg and made changes based on this to feel pro active which I think helped me conceive initially if you want to look it up. One of my friends swore by the ovusense vaginal device but I had already asked for an Ava bracelet for my birthday so going to see how I get on with that.

Thanks for the tip on these @Lou98, do you know how this fits into taking other supplements like conceive plus ovulation and fertility support?

Roselilly36 Tue 17-Nov-20 07:32:40

I have felt like you do OP, so I understand. Good luck I hope you have some happy news to share very soon.

Pregh Tue 17-Nov-20 08:05:55

@Chica1990 thanks for your message. Really sorry to hear about your loss. And the situation with your pregnant friend must be challenging. I completely understand.
My cousin's wife, who i am very close to, gave birth yesterday. She had sooo many gynaecological problems last year and even two operations, and then all of a sudden she got pregnant the second month they tried. So of course i feel very happy for them..but i didnt want to talk about it everyday. To be fair, i did explain that to her and actually she agreed. We had regular chats about how things are going, not everyday though..in my mind i framed is a research for my own pregnancy - body changes, feelings, doctors, preparation, midwife, reusable nappies..i am more or less ready when i need it :D

I'll definitely look that book up! Thank youuuu an good luck. Feel free to keep posting here if you need to talk, i feel so much better after talking to you guys! So supportive!

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Pregh Tue 17-Nov-20 08:06:54

@Roselilly36 thanks for understanding! Yes i hope for some happy news too (my own news, not my family's :D)

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PutOnAHappyFace Tue 17-Nov-20 08:10:14

I'm sorry your finding TTC so tough, it really is heart breaking every month.

I've finally got pregnant 14 months after a MMC and this is the month we had sex once. I honestly think it comes down to luck, have sex around ovulation and then hopefully a lucky swimmer gets through. I don't know about you but I used to drive myself crazy wondering if I'm doing everything right then why isn't it happening, I hand on heart think if you do all you can then that's good enough.

Good luck.

Pregh Tue 17-Nov-20 08:45:02

@PutOnAHappyFace thank you! Congratulations to your lucky swimmer smile
There's definitely lots of luck in this...i often wonder if we're doing enough..but we're doing the best we can so it must be enough. Hopefully our lucky month will come soon! Thank you

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babblingbrooks Tue 17-Nov-20 09:18:54

I found helpful was to remember that there are not a fixed number of pregnancies in the world - so someone else getting pregnant does not in any way effect my chances of getting pregnant. Seems silly but it was a mantra that I used a lot!
I also tried to whenever I saw a pregnant person to pray something nice for them - helped tame the raging beast of jealousy inside!

Lou98 Tue 17-Nov-20 21:02:12

Chica1990

I know how you feel. TTC since July 2019 and had an ectopic in October and loads of people around me are pregnant. They’ve even started having their babies now, it’s hard. My best friend is due to give her baby next month and I feel like she only wants to talk about baby stuff and I worry it’s out some distance between us.

I’ve read the book it all starts with an egg and made changes based on this to feel pro active which I think helped me conceive initially if you want to look it up. One of my friends swore by the ovusense vaginal device but I had already asked for an Ava bracelet for my birthday so going to see how I get on with that.

Thanks for the tip on these *@Lou98*, do you know how this fits into taking other supplements like conceive plus ovulation and fertility support?


I'm not really sure about the others. I just took the MyOva tablets, folic acid and Vitamin D (as separates, not as a prenatal). I also used the conceive plus lube.

I tried it out of desperation as it had been 18 months really trying the first month I took them and nothing was happening. I know on their website there is other ones that they recommend taking with them and I've seen a lot of reviews saying that taking the two together worked for them within a month or two of starting them. I'll go see if I can find them and post a link

Lou98 Tue 17-Nov-20 21:07:41

@Chica1990 https://www.myovacare.com/pages/fertility-pcos

That page on their website explains the different supplements they have and you can have a read through the reviews etc. As I say the only ones I took were the inositol tablets so I can't say about the effectiveness of the rest of them but I would definitely recommend giving those ones a try as I am 100% sure that that's what helped me get pregnant!

MrsChicken89 Tue 17-Nov-20 21:10:53

We've been TTC since March 2018, so coming up to 3 years. Weve tried everything, sperms friendly lube, vitamins, bbt tracking ovulation strips etc but nothing has worked.

Im focusing on fertility meditation, I list to it before bed, its called evoke, and trying not to stress.
Taking the positives is that we can pay off our cc and save up a bit more, oh and finish decorating the house.

Like you every man and his dog around me is pregnant, some on the 2nd!

Pregh Tue 17-Nov-20 22:47:55

@mrschicken89 thanks for sharing your story. Sorry to hear about your long journey... I've done all those things too..how frustrating isnt it...i am a planner and i like to be in control. So i think our long ttc journey is supposed to teach me to take one day/month at the time..and be patient.
Well done on the mediation - that is definitely useful. I am having regular reflexology sessions and that is so pleasant and relaxing too!
'Every man and his dog made me giggle' smile
Good luck with the savings and house decoration, great stuff to focus on!

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bstrong0805 Tue 17-Nov-20 22:58:01

Same here - had co workers around me get pregnant and even when they told me and I tried to sound happy I’m not sure I did. Plus loads of cousins and freinds preg too. I think like someone said it isn’t a zero sum game so you still have as much chance irrespective of anyone else. I’m just hoping my chance and all of your chances come very very soon!
I’ve heard about myo insotil too and I started it this month on advice of my nutritionist so let’s see if it works. Other than that I take a pre natal, vit D top up and a magnesium at night to help with sleep.

Pregh Tue 17-Nov-20 23:31:29

@bstrong0805 thanks! Let's hope we'll all have happy news soon! Good reminder about magnesium, i could do with better sleep.
I take vit c,b,d, folic acid and Vitex (only up to ovulation). I ordered the inositol now so need to research whether the vitex works with it or against. Dont want to mess myself up ever more!

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