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When will I move on?

(2 Posts)
Nahmfor Mon 16-Nov-20 19:31:45

Bit of back story...

4 years ttc, no luck not even so much as a late period. Turns out dh had fertility issues (low quality, motility, low count, varicocele on testies)

We needed ivf with icsi, fast forward to round 2 of icsi and we have our DS, amazing! I'd never been happier.

Then, when he was 8 months old I found out I was pregnant after AF was 4 days late. Unfortunately we lost our baby in June. It was the hardest and most upsetting feeling. Especially after knowing that finally we could conceive ourselves

We've been TTC ever since, I'm obsessive. This month, I really truly thought it was it, had all the symptoms.

AF was due today, I had the tiniest bit of brown discharge when I wiped but nothing else. I POAS constantly and got BFN's. Haven't tested today as I'm guessing AF is about to make her unwanted arrival.

I can't stop wishing and wanting, it's taking over my life. Before I fell pregnant TTC hadn't crossed my mind as I assumed it would be an ivf process again which I can't put myself through, I almost lost my mind the first two times.

Does it ever get easier? DH knows it's taking its toll and I opened up to him properly tonight, thats took abit of weight off but it's really consuming.

Sorry to rant, I don't even know why I'm posting I'm just having such an off day. Everyone around me is having babies and I should be 7 months pregnant now.

OP’s posts: |
BriocheBuns Mon 16-Nov-20 20:40:43

Hey, firstly sorry to hear about ur struggles and ur loss 💓 ur a very strong lady.

Secondly, the advice I have for u might not be the same advice others will give and some might disagree but it’s how I get thru when I’m having a tough time.

Cuddle ur little one and hold him close, u are truly blessed to have a child and there are many out there who will never have one and would trade places with u any day. I’m struggling at the minute but haven’t been thru as much as u have. What gets me thru is knowing I have someone to cuddle while many ladies don’t, knowing I have someone to call me mummy while many may never hear that.

I’m not saying u don’t deserve to be frustrated, of course u do, u deserve to feel everything ur feeling and don’t bottle it up, allow urself to cry and be angry and sad, get it all out of ur system.

Stay strong, I hope it works out for u x

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