19 days late confused need advise 😊

[Sarahmayo]

Hi all,
I am new here, I could really use some advise and support. I am 38, I have 3 daughters 17 and 15 year old twins. I am currently trying to conceive with my husband, he has no children of his own, although he treats my girls as his own he would like a child and we are desperate to have a baby together. I stopped taking the pill over 6 months ago, although we haven’t been trying at the right time until September. My period are always regular as clock work 35 day cycle. We have tried to conceive all the way through my previous cycle. My last period ended on early September and I haven’t had one since, currently on day 56 of my cycle. I had egg white discharge around 3 weeks ago, so I believe I possibly ovulated late this cycle. I have had some light cramping no where near the intercity of normal period just faint cramps, I also experienced some spotting bleeding which started as a rust brown colour, very small amount, this lasted for 3 days, on the 4th day I had some bright red blood, again only a small amount when I wiped, I thought ok my period is here so I wore a sanitary pad and went about my day. There was no more bleeding, I had some light pink discharge later that day and the next day. This stopped a week ago on Friday, since then nothing no discharge or bleeding at all. My boobs are a little tender and my husband says my nipples taste strange, bitter. I have taken a pregnancy test every morning for the past 19 days but every day BFN. Although I have 3 children I have little experience in trying for a baby or the first signs of pregnancy as my other children were conceived whilst taking the pill. With my eldest daughter I was sick just once, took a test which was negative, thought no more of it and carried on taking my pill. I didn’t find out I was pregnant until I was 5 months! With my twins again conceived while taking the pill and no morning sickness or anything with them. I’m just so confused, my periods are always regular, we start trying for a baby and my period stops but I have tried every test brand all BFN. Any advise would be gratefully received, I’m so confused and anxious, if I’m not pregnant I just want my period to come so we can try again. Sorry for the long post and thank you in advance for any help, advise, anyone who has been in this situation. Thank you 😊

[Olivebranch26]

@Sarahmayo Hi, hmm that does sound very confusing for you. I have in the past gone from 32day cycle to over 50 days so I definitely understand how frustrating it is. A long cycle could just mean that you either got ready to ovulate as usual but didn't and you ovulated later or not at all. However the spotting does seem a little strange, it could be that you had an anovulatory cycle (no ovulation) and because of that you didn't have a true period but that's just a guess. Or you could have conceived and possibly had a chemical pregnancy, I've had these before they made my cycle about 2+ weeks longer but I usually get very faint line on a pregnancy test send you have said you didn't 🤔 you could always call your doctor and see what they have to say, I guess if you haven't had a period there is always that chance you could be pregnant...

[Curiosity101]

There are a very small number of women who will never show pregnant on a pregnancy test as they have a slightly different version of HCG. Have you ever had a BFP with a pregnancy test?

There are a lot of things that it could be but I'd definitely call the doctors if I were you and see if they would be happy to run a pregnancy blood test given your previous pregnancy history.

[Sarahmayo]

Hi @Olivebranch26, Thank you for your reply. My first thought was chemical pregnancy but I’ve never had even a faint line on a test. You could be right about the no ovulating, therefore no real period, but just strange that this has never happened to me before then only happens when I try to start conceiving. I have of course been reading everything on google I can find, I have read that it’s possible to have negative pregnancy tests if your pregnant with twins, because the hgc level is too much for a test to read, this thought terrifies me, I have twins already and that pregnancy nearly killed me, probably my worst fear to have twins again. However being pregnant with twins is very different and having experienced it before I feel like I’d know if I was. I was totally convinced that I was pregnant for a few weeks, I felt pregnant but I’m not sure if it was just wishful thinking, all in my mind. I have always become pregnant very easily in the past, in fact even when I didn’t mean til, although so happy I had my girls. I know I’m 38 now so it’s becomes harder to conceive. My last pregnancy was 4 years ago, again another accident with a guy I was dating before I met my husband. That pregnancy was obvious pretty much instantly, I boobs were on fire, it was nothing like my other pregnancies, sadly it ended in miscarriage at around 6 weeks, I always guessed something was not right about it from the start and indeed it wasn’t. I feel a bit bad about posting to be honest. I know many of the women on here have not been able to conceive at all and I feel true sad for them. I am blessed with my 3 daughters but my husband has no children and I desperately want him to have that and I want to have a baby with him so much, He’s my true love, it took me a long time to find him. He is the sweetest man, he always says although he would like a child of his own, he is just happy to have me and that if we can’t we can’t, a child would just be a bonus for him, but I know deep down he really wants one. I have also thought about him being infertile, mainly because of my past of falling pregnant easily and we have had unprotected sex many many times, he doesn’t want to have his fertility checked, I brought him a test at home kit and it’s just sat on the shelf untouched, although he is very aware of it, when we thought I was pregnant he said we can chuck that thing in the bin now! I think the only chance that I am pregnant now is if I’ve ovulated and conceived very late this cycle, which does tie in with the discharge and spotting and maybe it’s still to early to show or maybe I’m just trying to convince myself of that because it’s what I want to believe, it’s so confusing. Right now I would be happy just for my period to start so I just know where I am again instead of being in limbo all the time. I don’t really want to go to the doctors, I know it sounds silly but I’m one of those people, I don’t like doctors and I only go if I have no choice! I don’t think they would do much anyway, they are still only seeing people if they have to, most appointments are over the telephone and from what I have read I don’t think doctors take this seriously until you have been without a period for 3 months. Anyway sorry for long posts of rambling on, it nice to have someone to talk to about it all. I feel very lost right now. Thank you for taking the time to read and reply to me 😊

[Sarahmayo]

Hi @Curiosity101 thank you also for taking the time to read and reply to my post 😊. With my daughters I never had a positive pregnancy test, with my eldest it didn’t show on a test, although I was taking the pill and after BFN test I continued to taking the pill and never took another test. I only found out I was pregnant after 5 months because I went to the doctors after randomly fainting a couple of times, he felt my stomach and said your pregnant I can feel it, I didn’t even look pregnant! He sent me for a scan which confirmed I was indeed 5 months pregnant. With my twins it was different, I don’t remember taking a test, it was 15 years ago, I think I just knew because the feeling was just so prominent with my twins, again I went to the doctors, was sent for a scan which showed my 2 little daughter, I was shocked to be having twins, it had ever been crossed my mind until I saw them in the screen, I just thought the pregnancy was with a boy and that it must feel different to being pregnant with a girl. I did have a positive test once in my life, when I miscarried 4 years ago, that’s the only time. I know that the answer is that I really should go to the doctors and request bloods, I’m just trying to avoid it in all honesty, I hate blood tests, I’m terrible with them, I always faint, it’s so embarrassing 😕

[Curiosity101]

In that case, if you've received a positive test result before on a HPT then there's no reason to believe you wouldn't again which is good.

If you're worried about the hook effect then I recommend re-testing a sample of urine that has been dilute 1:2 and 1:10. From memory, the 1:2 or 1:10 should give a positive result if that's what's happening.

I'd guess that the most likely scenario is that you ovulated much later than expected and it's just really bad luck that this has happened on the first cycle of you TTC. Having said that though, stress can be a factor that affects ovulation. So if you felt stressed or under pressure then it can have an effect.

Fingers crossed for you!

[Sarahmayo]

@Curiosity101 Thank you again for your advise. I will definitely give the diluting a go, it’s worth a try!
I do feel that I ovulated late mainly due to egg white discharge. So strange I had all the symptoms of ovulation and implantation but no period or positive test. I am always stressed to be honest, my job is very stressful, it doesn’t normally affect my cycles, perhaps my body is just used to it! I will try the dilution method and see what happens, if nothing I guess I’ll just have to keep waiting, I’m feeling very sad about it all at the moment, our bodies are so cruel sometimes, I wouldn’t mind if I got my period, at least it’s an answer even if it’s not the one I was hoping for. Thanks again for your help 😊

[Olivebranch26]

@Sarahmayo Its no problem at all please ramble away I'm all ears. And let me say don't feel bad at all for posting on here, I have been ttc for years and I love stories of Ladies getting pregnant straight away, it doesn't make me upset I'm very happy for those who do because Its awful when you cannot conceive easily. If you were pregnant 4 years back I would say you seem pretty fertile, I wouldn't worry about your age so much as I struggled to get my DD at 24 so being young doesn't always help lol. Hmm it seems your husband is like many and doesn't want to think he could have issues with his swimmers, although it would help if he took the test I can understand his reluctance to. I'm hoping for that you did ovulate late and that there is still a chance you could get your bfp. I think if you were pregnant enough to have too much hcg for tests to pick up you would possibly know that you were from what you have said with your previous pregnancies. I can completely understand how nuts this must be driving you I'd be loosing the plot if I was in limbo like that and on many occasions have lol. Keep us updated, I'm very curious to hear what happens. Your not out until AF arrives so I'm keeping my 🤞 for you x