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Conception

How did you decide to start TTC?

5 replies

ErrolFinn · 27/09/2020 22:40

My DH and I have been talking for the past few months about TTC/NTNP, but we haven’t “pulled the trigger,” so to speak, and I’m wondering how everyone else decided to. Was there a certain moment/deadline you set?
We are in a pretty good position - both in good stable jobs with savings, we own our own house and have a really good support network. I can't help over thinking things and therefore getting cold feet over trying!

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MrsM21 · 28/09/2020 08:14

We started talking about it in January and decided I would come off the pill and start taking folic acid in preparation for after Christmas this year (assuming the pill would take about 12 months to fully be out my system worst case) but we talked about it regularly and didn’t see a reason to wait any longer 😂 so we bit the bullet and started this month.
I think if your stable and settled then there really is no good time to start trying, and it can take a while so the sooner you start the better in my opinion! Nerves beforehand on both sides are totally normal x

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Puffin85 · 28/09/2020 09:18

Hi!

We've just decided to go for it too, starting after Christmas. It does depend on what happens with my job - there is a small chance of redundancy but hopefully not. Waiting until after Christmas is really just to make sure I'm still employed and will be able to get maternity pay.

Tbh we didn't have lots of long conversations about it, about when to start. We decided during a walk in the woods to just get on with it as long as my job is ok 😊 We've been together 3 years, but I am getting on in terms of baby making ability (35yo, such a nanna) and because of my age we know it could take a while to concieve and the chances only get slimmer. It came down to, we could wait a couple of years, but the one certainty we have about the future is that you get older and making a kid gets harder.

How old are you Errol? I wasn't always sure I wanted kids - there are can be downsides right? Changes to your body, less freedom. The worry for the rest of your life about whether your kids are OK. Plus the whole TTC process can be stressful in itself. For me it's like a switch flicked in my brain and I went from 'meh' to 'oh god I really want to' and I can't explain it except from I've found the right partner and I'm very aware that soon I won't have the choice any more. A couple of my friends had babies recently which probably helped nudge me along.

Now we've made the decision we're excited, although I'm nervous too about TTC and things going wrong or my body 'not working'. I am going to try be relaxed about it, but I know from friends and lurking on here that it's hard to stay relaxed for long haha. I think I will make myself a sort of wellbeing plan and stick to it - excersise, find a new hobby/distraction?

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fauxflowers · 28/09/2020 09:38

We are sort of in the same position, had the sit down talk last month following a health scare on my part around abnormal smear/possible lletz (small risk of pregnant issues). I actually don't need to have the lletz right now and instead I'm going for 6 monthly follow ups as I was told there is a 57% it can regress itself. We hadn't discussed exactly when I would come off pill until yesterday and he basically said whenever I am ready to, do I decided after Christmas would be a good time. Now I'm excited and just want the next few months to hurry up but totally get what you mean about the cold feet, I am known to overthink and worry about things but hopefully everything will fall into place.

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MayDay27 · 28/09/2020 10:13

We're also planning on starting TTC after Xmas. We're both in stable jobs, have a house and savings and supportive family. Half of the time I just want the next three months to be over so we can start, the other half I am bricking it!! We're very happy, we've been together 13 years now and got married last month. I'm 31 DH 33, I just know how much life will change after having a baby but we both know we want a family. I'm also scared that it may not be easy going TTC and not looking forward to the stress and heartache if things don't work out as we want.

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CalmDown7 · 28/09/2020 15:31

When you know you know - for me personally, I always wanted to become a mother so I worked out everything else around that rather than working out everything and then trying x

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