TTC #1, cycle 13 and fed up! Whose with me?

[Theawkwardblonde]

Hello. So AF arrived yesterday which means I'm officially on cycle 13 of TTC. I'm a healthy 28 year old with husband whose 33. We've had 2 chemical pregnancies in the time we've been actively trying. We are just waiting on our dates for blood tests and SA for husband.

Needless to say I'm bloody fed up! Had 3 friends announce pregnancy news in the last week, and one friend is due in 4 weeks. TTC is definitely starting to take its toll on both of us and the realisation that something may be wrong is starting to sink in.
Who else is having similar? Please feel free to share/rant!

[Theawkwardblonde]

Bump-I cannot next the only one 😂😂

[CurbsideProphet]

10 months in 🙋🏻‍♀️
I have short cycles which means 13 cycles or so. In that time I've had 1 possible and 1 definite very early loss / chemical. I'm sorry about your losses.
I'm struggling too. I'm nearly 35 so it feels like time is running out before it could get more difficult.

[Cha0907]

Hey we are on same boat as you both.

10 months TTC. I’m 28 and my partner is 29. About a year ago now we think we had a chemical as well (period was over 2 weeks late had all the typical pregnancy symptoms and then when AF did arrive it was horrendous) I’ve never had it confirmed and tried not to think about it too much but as time goes on it kills me a little bit.

I really thought when we properly started trying after new year that it would have happened by now 😭

We have had about 5 births/pregnancy annoucments from friends/family and colleagues over the last year and it is soul destroying.

@Theawkwardblonde if you don’t mind me asking did you go through your Gp for the SA? I feel like our GP won’t entertain us until we have passed 12 months and also feel like they will look at it like trying to have a baby isn’t really the most Important thing when there is a global pandemic 😂🙈

[Theawkwardblonde]

@CurbsideProphet hello! It's so hard isn't it? I'm not someone who normally swells on things but it's by hard one of the hardest things to deal with I think. We just think it'll be so easy to conceive when that's not the case. Sorry to hear about your losses too. Feel free to rant here-I'm a newbie to mumsnet and have already found it comforting 😊

@Cha0907 hello! Sorry to hear about your chemical-they're always followed by the worst periods 😞
It's a buggar when everyone is announcing babies-all my friends are pregnant so it's a hard time for us too.
We have just been referred by our gp. My gp was lovely and knows about my history of chemicals. They've got husband booked in for the 30th for a pre SA consultation, and I'm booked in for my bloods on the 21st day of my next cycle (which has just started yesterday due to AF arriving). Push them to look into it. Mine were canny and just asked how long we'd been trying, and how often we have sex etc. It's starting to scare both of us now though as there may be a problem. We're both fit and healthy so who knows what's up!

[2020mission]

@Theawkwardblonde I've not been trying as long - it's been 10 months for me, but I feel your pain and we have also had 2 chemicals. It's such a tease having a week or so of positive tests but then bleeding. It really just makes me feel like my body will never be able to maintain a pregnancy. We're a little bit older... I'm 32 and my husband is 37. It feels like the clock is ticking and we had always thought we'd like 2 children but I think we'll be lucky to have 1! It's good to hear you've got the ball rolling with testing underway.

It seems like every school friend my age on Facebook has now had a baby and a number of people years younger than me too and I'm the only one left without but I'm trying to stay positive as there's just nothing else I can do. I hope you are all managing to keep positive as much as you can too 💕

[CurbsideProphet]

Hi @Cha0907 and @theawkwardblonde

I'm having bloods done this week on cycle day 21, but as my cycles now only last 24 days I don't know if the results will be useful or not.

My periods have been much more painful since my chemical at the start of the year. I was referred to Gynaecology for the change in my periods. I've had a pointless 2 minute phone appointment (he told me to just relax) and then an ultrasound which has shown a fibroid, but I don't know what kind or whether it could be preventing me from getting pregnant.

[Theawkwardblonde]

@2020mission hi! Sorry to hear about your chemicals. Have you been to the doctors about you TTC? It's mental, I just thought it would happen instantly 🤣 all those times particularly when I was young I would double up on contraception just to make sure I wouldn't fall pregnant. Me and my husband were referring to an incident years ago when we first started seeing each other and we had to use emergency contraception-I wonder if it would have even made a difference 😂 wishing you luck with TTC.
It does seem there is a definite baby boom on blooming Facebook!

@CurbsideProphet that sounds awful. It took me a few cycles to get my periods back to normal but doesn't sound half as bad as what you are going through. Are they going to address the fibroid?

[CurbsideProphet]

I don't know what will be done about the fibroid as I haven't even found out what kind it is or if it's causing any problems 😔

@2020mission hi 🙋🏻‍♀️ we're a similar age (I'm a bit older than you). I'm 10 months in too. My optimism comes and goes.

[Missgoldilocks]

Hey can I join? I've been trying for 14 months though been off contraception for 18!! I'm 28 and my partner is 31. We've had all the tests done and everything is normal. I even when private for flushing of my tubes and still nothing. I'm literally so fed up and trying to lose weight but putting on weight due to being so down with it all! (I comfort eat) so totally get how you ladies feel. I'm currently 2 days away from af and feels like it's coming as per usual x

[Cha0907]

@Theawkwardblonde aw I know it’s soul destroying with so many people around you having babies! I think we just assume it will be so easy and it’s not. How long did you referral take?

@Missgoldilocks hi! What tests have you had done and how long did it take? I lost about a stone during lock down but have put about half back on. I’m desperately trying lose some more probably have about 3 stone to lose to get to the recommended weight I should be for my height but part of me thinks I will look horrendous that thin 😂😂 totally don’t want to be horrendous looking when pregnant though 🙈 I think we all dream of the perfect petite bump and not looking pregnant from behind lol 😂

[lucyrp]

@Theawkwardblonde I'm 23 and my OH is 24. We're going into month 14 of trying and we've had a chemical in May. Ever since I've had extremely long cycles one 72dags and one 48days. I'm on my next cycle now should be around ovulation but haven't seen any signs. Getting very fed up! OH is going in for his SA and I'm having 21 day bloods done for the 3rd time as the doctors did them wrong the other two times. After that we are being referred to a fertility clinic. I feel your pain!

[lucyrp]

@Theawkwardblonde I must add I already have a DS from a previous relationship so I feel I get taken less seriously as I have already birthed one child they think it's inevitable for me to do it again! Doesn't seem the case at the moment though!

[Theawkwardblonde]

@Cha0907 DH is waiting till 30th for his test, I'll be the 12th October for mine so not long considering I had my gp appointment last week. They've been really good with us tbf.

@Missgoldilocks welcome! Don't try to feel down over your weight although it's a natural reaction we have. I've recently lost 3.5 stone this last year and the fittest I've been since my teens but still classed as overweight which is annoying! I've honestly never been fitter! I comfort eat too, so whoever I get my period I'm reaching for crap and wine 😂 fingers crossed no AF for you!

@lucyrp hello and welcome! Wow those are varied cycles! I've found mine have been weird since my chemicals too. Just goes to show how much of an effect they have on the body. Hope everything is okay with the bloods and SA. My husband is mortified he has to get them done 🤣🤣

[LS2020]

Hello, please can I join?

Both me and OH are 27 and been trying about 15 months. Had our first chemical pregnancy last week and in a weird state of mourning & being elated to have even got pregnant. We’ve done our initial tests and SA and all ok, just waiting on referrals for internal scan. Feeling super fed up waiting to be able to try again this month as everyone at work is announcing pregnancies left right and centre 😩

[lucyrp]

@LS2020 last year 3 of my colleagues of which we are a very small team all got pregnant and I even ended up one of their maternity leaves which was bittersweet as I got more money but wished I was on maternity myself! I'm waiting on my day 21 bloods and then a referral too x

[lucyrp]

@Theawkwardblonde I'm quite worried I haven't even been ovulating since as I can't seem to pick it up on temping or opks so I'm struggling to even TTC atm !

[Missgoldilocks]

@Theawkwardblonde thanks! Yeah even when I was at my fittest they still classed me as obese!! Ridiculous truly! I did a test today and it's negative so it'll come today or tomorrow for sure. Feel down but it's fine just got to get on with it and start taking losing weight seriously again xx

@Cha0907 I know what you mean and I don't want all the issues that comes with being bigger and pregnant!
So I've had my partners sperm done which took a couple of weeks, I had 21 day bloods which were fine, I'm doing day 3 bloods this week and the flushing of tubes I went private do happened within a week of ringing them x

[LS2020]

@lucyrp I’m on mat leave cover for someone in my team but she got pregnant before we started so I’ll allow it, plus she struggled with her first but yeah is so tough as both my line managers are due soon and they’ve both conceived in the time I wanted to.
Hope your tests go ok, I’ve been pleased with how quick mines progressed x

[lucyrp]

@LS2020 yeah the person I covered struggled to get pregnant and had to go through ivf but still felt sad 🤣🙈 two of mine were my line managers and one is a friend who works with me in the same position so yeah. It is tough. I've got my bloods in a week then have to wait a week for the results then speak to the doctor for my referral x

[CurbsideProphet]

I'm sorry there are so many of us.
I would have been due next week if my chemical pregnancy had been successful. Difficult to stay optimistic when I'm still ttc.

[LS2020]

@lucyrp yeah it is so difficult and I feel like everyone atm is getting pregnant at a drop of a hat, no one seems to be struggling any more 😩 it’s a weird one, I hope it’s good news for you but then I had the frustration that nothing was wrong so why isn’t it happening!!

@CurbsideProphet oh gosh I’m so sorry to hear that. I’m dreading May which would have been mine so much already so can’t imagine how you’re feeling. I hope your bloods go ok too this week x

[Theawkwardblonde]

Hello @CurbsideProphet and @LS2020 .

Only thing we can do is remain optimistic!!! I'm having a bit of a mare if I'm honest. Period was due Sunday, had my usual brown spotting and some red bleeding Sunday so thought it had fully started-hence this thread!
Hasn't materialised into anything more and has stopped but I've still got cramps and sore boobs, along with ridiculously high closed cervix. Bit the bullet and tested today bfn (13DPO today).
So to add to my stresses over impending blood test and husbands SA, I'm now wondering where the hell my usual heavy 6 day period is, and if this means I'm drying up 😞FFS!!!

[Theawkwardblonde]

@Missgoldilocks it's mental what they class as overweight! By nhs standards I need another 2-3 stone off! I'd be wasting away!
You're not out till AF shows so fingers crossed it goes your way.

[Cha0907]

@Missgoldilocks thanks that’s good to know! I’m not really looking forward to getting to that stage though!

My cousin and partner have announced they are having a boy tonight really struggled to keep the 'thats wonderful news' face on 🙈 ttc makes me feel like a horrible bitch 😂😂

[Rosie189]

I’m officially on cycle 13 too. I’m 32 husband is 33. I’ve been off the pill for almost 2 and a half years for other reasons. Husband works away so technically not tried every cycle as often doesn’t match up. I’ve had irregular and heavy periods since coming off the pill although much more regular in past year. I had some bloods for pcos around 9 months ago which were all normal. Had planned to go back to gp in March to discuss further scans because of the heaviness of my periods but covid stopped that. I’m now almost scared to go to docs. Not sure I want to know if there is something wrong or not. On the other hand it’s a bit soul destroying.