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Am I being selfish TTC?(8 Posts)
We were all set to TTC from next month and have saved a nest egg for maternity leave, then Covid hit. My OH has been made redundant and although my job is safe at the moment I work in a hard hit industry so this could change. I'm 30 soon. Am I bonkers to start TTC in this situation? I'm desperate for a baby and OH thinks I'm mad but is happy to stick to the plan.
There is never no perfect time to plan a baby. You will always get through it but you still have to be realistic. Only you know what is realistic for your family but you will always make it work if you really want it. X
As someone who thought I’d get pregnant straight away and who is now going in to cycle 5 I’d say there is never a perfect time.. you could have a baby in your arms in 10 months.. or it could be a few years x
What’s your husbands job prospects look like? Tbh I know people say it could take x amount of time, there’s never a right time etc but realistic finances have to be considered. You don’t want to have a baby and not know if you will keep a roof over your head etc. Only you know how tight things are
I'd wait until your husband has a new job.
@Daisychain69 that's a difficult one. When you're all ready to go, I feel like I'd still be pretty determined to go ahead. We are both very lucky and are still employed and fingers crossed, I think I will be okay. Unfortunately my line of work means when everyone else is being made redundant, it works in my favour (it's not a very nice feeling). But DH earns way more than me, but with a pretty precarious job. I think if it were us, he would be wanting to put the brakes on and I would be devastated.
I always remember one of my best friends telling me (when she was six months pregnant) there's never a right time to have a baby. Sadly she is no longer with us, but her words really stuck with me. As long as you have each other, generally things have a way of working themselves out. X
If you're desperate for a baby and could survive if you needed a maternity leave I'd start now.
It could take you 18 months to conceive and 9 months for the baby to be born. So hopefully by then you'd husband would have a job.
You need to be realistic though and consider that you might need to split parental leave if you're the only earner.
I've been trying for a year now, and I'm sure that if either my husband or I were made redundant I'd want to keep trying. As previous posters have said, there's no perfect time and we'd get by. Obviously only you know your finances, and would want to consider how you'd be splitting leave etc if it happened before your husband got a new job.
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