anyone remember basilbrush? Qs on recurrent m/c tests

[basilbrush]

Hello ladies -

I've been Mumsnet Free for 2 months now but found an inescabaple urge to log on

For those of you who don't know me, have been TTC No.2 this year and have m/c twice in March at 7 weeks and July at 10 weeks.

Was going to take a BD break till New Year but you know how it is, the little voice in your head (or maybe your ovaries!) talks you into thinking about going for it again.

Have had one AF since m/c and am just about to have another. All that progesterone is probably why I feel so weepy. I visited my friend's new born yesterday, picked him up and burst into tears. Rather embarassing

Obviously the standard line I got from EPU and GP was "we don't do any tests after 2 m/c, you'll very likely be fine next time, go away".

But I have been reading up (Zita West, Lesley Reagan) and I am starting to get worried and wondering if I should convince DH to get some private tests done before we rush into a potential 3rd m/c

My questions / concerns are:

1. The "oh well you've had one child, you must be okay" is a myth. Apparently you have the LOWEST rate of m/c with your first child (only 5%)
   
2. If I have some sort of autoimmune problem that is causing the fetus to be rejected,(maybe helped by heparin injections) then this gets worse with every subsequent pregnancy. So a 3rd m/c would lower my chances even further.
   
3. Autoimmune probs are rare but they focus on the placenta and in a milder form cause problems when the baby is well into pregnancy. I suffered placental abruption with DS and the said when they removed it that it was very small and had not been nourishing him properly for the last couple of weeks. This is why he only weighed 5lbs at full term. This is why I am concerned I may have this type of problem...
   4.Similary a m/c after a fetal heartbeat has been found (as in my case with second m/c) indicates strongly that there wasn't a genetic problem with baby but rather a problem with the mother in some way
   5.My other different concern is that I did have a "very" emergency C-section with DS (the consultant said it was the fastest he'd ever seen!)and I'm worried my uterus may be scarred or damaged in some way. All the GPs have been at great pains to deny that a CS could ever affect further early pregnancies but I do have a colleague who took 10 years to get No.2 (!) and she was told her by her specialist that her womb had been damaged by the first delivery and that it had needed all that time to recover
   
   Anyway, sorry all that must make me look like a bit of a psycho... I just have so many questions and am SOOOOOOO scared of a 3rd m/c
   
   Do you think I'm paranoid and should just get on with TTC or should I try and get tests done??
   
   I would esp love to hear from anyone who's had two m/c (maybe where a fetal heart was seen)and then went on to do it third time lucky
   
   Many thanks for reading
   BB xx

[nh101]

Hi Basilbrush! I was thinking of you recently cos I am now pg again after MC in March and terrified it will go wrong again (I am only five weeks gone) and remember that you got PG a few months ago and was so devastated to be back on the TTC after MC thread again afterwards.

Sorry to hear you are still in turmoil over this bastard ttc lark!

I went to a private consultant about my missing periods after MC (GP just said that it was stress) and I am so glad I did cos he put me on Clomid and now I am PG. If I'd taken the GP's advice I'd probably still be waiting for my period to come!

So I would say if it is stressing you out, go to see someone privately about it. But the chances are next time you get PG you will be fine. If you can put it to the back of your mind, then do, but I couldn't and going to see the private consultant was a godsend for my sanity.

I had a MC at 13 weeks after the heartbeat had been heard at 10 weeks - I also thought this was unlikely to be genetic as I'd seen all the baby's arms and legs at the scan! Where have you seen info on this being a problem with the mother? I'd be interested in reading up on it.

Keep us informed on what you do!

[HuwEdwards]

BB - my lovely friend suffered 2 miscarriages within a few months. She's now due to give birth next month .

[basilbrush]

Hi nh101

Congrats on your BFP, what great news I will keep everything crossed for you...

The info was in Lesley Regan's What every woman should now about miscarriage, an excellent book

Love BB xx

PS JJ, thank you, you are a star, have emailed you

[becklespeckle]

Hi BB, saw the thread title and had to pop on to say hi!
Its totally understandable to be concerned about having another m/c, I was terrified with this pg that it would be my 3rd in a row - it is a devestating thing. A fetal heart was seen during my first pg but my baby died at 12.5 weeks. I then went on to have 2 healthy boys before 2 missed m/c last year - both quite early but did not find out until 12 weeks. I am now 27 weeks pg and (touch wood) things seem to be going well.
If you can go private for some tests or even just a chat with someone professional to get your questions answered then I definitely would.
Once you have had a m/c it takes a lot of the enjoyment and excitement out of future pgs. I still now can't quite believe I will have a baby at the end of this pg and the first 14 weeks were soooo tough mentally. Perhaps having some reassurance and your questions answered would make this part easier.
Big hugs x

[basilbrush]

Hi Speckle

Yes, I think you are right. If I could get tested for autoimmune problems at least I a) relax and forget about it if tests are negative b) get treated if there is a problem

At any rate, I might feel a bit more in charge of the whole situation. You know, empowered man. And skint

Have also heard that some women who have boys have problems hanging on to subsequent female babies (again an autoimmune thing) - hope it's not that causing my problem

Yay for you! in 13 weeks you'll have a baby Congrats!

[torres]

Hi basil- I had been wondering how you were getting on.

You do not look like a psycho at all. I think getting answers is a way to feel more in control and will help you reduce stress and thus help ttc. I think it will also make you feel more empowered if you believe you have done everything you can to help your next pregnancy.

I got super paranoid about all the twinges and aches after the ERPC and convinced they had done some structural damage so I went for a private scan for peace of mind.

If you can find a private consultant I think it would be really helpful to chat through your worries and he/she can then recommend the best tests for you.

Sending you a big hug xx

[nh101]

It was definitely the empowerment and control thing that helped me after seeing my consultant. It felt so helpless before. Hope it all works out for you BB

[fondant4000]

I had recurrent mcs and used to belong to a very good forum called babyloss.com

Some people managed to get their GPs to refer them after 2, some Gps are more sympathetic than others.

I had to wait until no.3, had all the tests done, nothing wrong. Ended up at Lesley Regan's clinic at St mary's after 5 mcs (this was before dd1). Now have 2 healthy dds, with no treatment. Just bad luck in my case.

You cd try badgering your GP and explaining that you're scared of trying again. Or go for tests privately (I seem to remember it's not v. v. expensive).

It's horrible to go through it, so anything that might help prevent another one is prob worth trying. It's also good to have a rest from it all while you're waiting for tests and results anyway.

[lissiethevampireslayer]

hi BB, i remember you, how are you my love? i think its probably worth going to see your gp and playing the hysterical card. push them a bit, my gp wouldnt refer me til i'd had 4mc but i kicked off after my third.

[becklespookle]

Hows it going BB, have you made any decisions?

[berolina]

I had two consecutive mcs after ds1 (plus one before him) and then got pg again - resulting in ds2's birth 10 days ago Must say that all my mcs were very different and none showed a fetal heartbeat before mc.

In my case I (almost) never felt that it was anything but rotten luck, and appear to have been right, but in yours (given your history) I might be tempted to push for tests or go private. Could you deal with the postponement of ttc that might mean?

Good luck.

[law3]

hi basil, im a newbie, so dont remember you

I have had 3 mc's and a c section. fetal heart was seen on 2.

i had 3 mcs before ds1 was born, ds was born by c section. I then went on to have ds2 two years later naturally albeit a low placenta. Then ds3 10 years later.

Hope this gives you some hope.

[basilbrush]

O crap crap crap

Decided to get things investigated. Then.......

Got (v surprising) BFP this morning

Am in a total state

What if I need heparin injections and can't get them as I am now pg and they won't do tests???

At work, more later

Can't stop crying, I want to be happy but am PETRIFIED

BB

[law3]

basil - im sure that tests can be done during pregency and Heparin is safe to use in pregnancy, as it does not cross the placenta. A specialist would be able to assess what is right for you. Try not to worry.

[becklespookle]

I'm sure its not too late to go for tests, especially if you go privately. Try not to panic hun and congrats on your BFP! Come join us here if you feel up to it, all of us have been through m/c and you'll find lots of support.

[basilbrush]

Thank you for your advice, lovely ladies

I tried to get an appointment with my consutlant from DS birth direct. They said they would get a midwife to phone me this afternoon but it's really awkward as I'm at school and so can't just pick up a phone and they are not allowed to leave messages for reasons of privacy or something!

The private hospital said I still need a GP referral before I can have any tests done and the earliest GP appointment I can get is tomorrow

I am feeling very stressed as I feel so helpless.

Also because I'm convinced things aren't going to last, symptoms seem pretty mild, no sore boobs, the odd wave of nausea. Main thing is craps in tummy and back like someone's tightening a belt round my middle and a voice in my head keeps saying it's the bleeding about to start

I'm a barrel of laughs aren't I

[basilbrush]

sorry CRAMPS not craps - lol

[alittlebitshy]

Oh basil - congrats and sorry you're feeling so stressed.
fwiw i'm going to gp tomorrow and one of the things i want to bring up is the fact i have had 2 m/cs this yesr and i want to register the fact i am scared shitless of getting pg again, even though it is also what i want most in the world.... I full expect her to say they won't do anything until i have another one, but last time the gp i saw did seem to be suggesting they might be willing to send me for tests.......
I know what you mean about the twinges causing panic.... but try not to think about them, i know it is easier said than done, but you can't do anything, at least not until you see your gp so try and feel calm and mildly happy aabout the fact you just got a bfp.
lots of love.

[nh101]

Basilbrush - congrats! I know it is scary but this one just might be the one that works out. And if it doesn't then you can have all the tests you want. Stay positive, I know it is hard, I am 5+3 after just one MC and I am shitting myself that it is going to go wrong. But I am just having to tell myself that sometimes things do go wrong and I will cope if they do. You will too!

[becklespookle]

Basil, it is natural to worry hun. How far are you do you think? I got my 'proper' symptoms at about 5.5 weeks but had bleeding and nasty cramps at 4 weeks, lasted for a few days and I was terrified. I wonder if the cramps could be magnified by the fact you are feeling stressed? Good luck at the GP tomorrow, keep us updated. {{{hugs}}}

[becklespookle]

Sorry, bleeding and cramps were at 5 weeks for me not 4.

[Ready]

All the very best Basilbrush

[law3]

Basil - with all 6 (3 mc and 3 ds's) i felt like i was about to have a period any moment right up until i was about 12 weeks. I never got any sickness or any signs at all, apart from last pg. With last pregency, i did 3 tests which all showed up negative, didnt know or fell pg until i had missed 2 periods. Didnt feel sick until i was well into the pg.

Good luck and congrats.