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Ttc after a miscarriage

(45 Posts)
emmajayden971 Mon 20-Jul-20 15:06:44

I am a week on from being in hospital for a medically managed missed miscarriage. It has been the hardest thing we have ever experienced. Myself and my partner have sobbed more than I could ever have imagined and I feel empty and numb. We tried for over a year and just as we were loosing hope it was ever going to happen (I appreciate people try a lot longer but I am 24 my partner is 28, both fit and healthy, and on paper we thought it would be straight forward- yeah right) it happened on the 12/13 months of trying. We were so incredibly excited and it was absolutely wanted. I know a lot of people will understand the absolute desperation to conceive again but the complete fear of never wanting to go through this again. My general hospital care and advice was shocking and non existent a lot of knowledge was assumed and as you can imagine a lot of the questions I have a week on did not enter my mind during that time. What are you experienced with TTC after a miscarriage. I’m petrified we will take another year or longer to fall again. It is all I want/ have ever wanted and I don’t know how to start tracking ovulation with sticks etc again or what to expected. Any help/advice/ shared experiences would be brilliant please!

OP’s posts: |
Wearenotyourkind Mon 20-Jul-20 15:46:56

Hi @emmajayden971 so sorry to hear about your experience. I can only empathise as I know it's absolutely heartbreaking. I had a MC in May and opted for it to progress naturally, once it was confirmed at the scan that there was no heartbeat. For me, this made it a long and drawn out process as I waited 3 weeks for the bleeding to start. I then bleed for 2 weeks. However, it took 6 weeks in total to get a negative pregnancy test. My next period came 2 weeks after I stopped bleeding. I then had 2 weeks with no bleeding, but no signs of ovulation and appear to have my next period now. So I think my cycle is taking a while to sort itself out.

Like you, we tried for a long time before I got my BFP and then to then lose it, just seemed so unfair. I have found the whole experience very difficult both physically and emotionally. I have been lucky to have support from friends and family, so I hope you have that too. I also never thought I'd get so much support from other people on here who are going through the same thing. I am also desperate to be pregnant again and want to start trying straight away. I started using OPKs from CD12 but didn't get anything near a positive and then AF showed up again early. So I'm now CD2 and will try OPKs again from CD12. Sending hugs to you 💗

emmajayden971 Mon 20-Jul-20 19:42:11

I’m so sorry to hear this. It’s the worst feeling in the world isn’t it and it feels like your world has stopped but everyone else is just carrying on. A sad song, a picture or anything and I’m in a mess again! We went for an early scan at 7 weeks because of COVID and my partner not being allowed in. We were not blissfully unaware. They re scanned after a week when they confirmed it but I’d had no pain/ bleeding etc which made it so much harder because we absolutely did not see it coming. We had the re scan on the Monday and I opted for the medical management the next day.i have been bleeding for 6 days and it seemed like it had slowed down. Did your bleeding last a long while? I’m hoping to start tracking as soon as the bleeding stops. I’m trying to be optimistic but in the back on my head I’m terrified it will take forever and even if it happens I will miscarry again. It feels so cruel. My sister is currently pregnant also which makes it so much harder.

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Chanel05 Tue 21-Jul-20 09:48:52

Sorry to hear of your mmc, they are absolutely awful thanks. I had a mmc last year after ttc for 8 months and had surgical management. It took 20 days to finally finish bleeding. I absolutely drove myself crazy with stress tracking my cycle after my surgical management and in hindsight, I should have just waited for my first, natural af afterwards. It took me another 8 months to conceive again and in all honesty, I found the process very difficult. Be kind to yourself. I had some councelling which helped a little.

emmajayden971 Sun 26-Jul-20 15:53:01

Hi everyone. It’s now 12 days since I had medical management and I have stopped bleeding apart from a small bit when I wipe but it’s more in mucus if that makes sense. I took a pregnancy test today and it still is positive not a deep dark line but not faint either. Should I be worried. I also took an ovulation strip and that looked similar to what it did in previous months when I was a day or so away from ovulating?! I started the ovulation test yesterday because if my cycle restarts as such from the day the bleeding started I’m at the time now where I typically ovulate. Can anyone help? So confused 😩 just want my cycle back on track.

OP’s posts: |
Chanel05 Sun 26-Jul-20 16:30:10

@emmajayden971 it takes about three weeks to get a negative hpt so it will still show. Also, whilst you still have hcg in your system, your opks will show as positive. You aren't ovulating as your body is unable to whilst you have levels of hcg. Hope this helps.

Stabal Sun 26-Jul-20 17:05:23

@emmajayden971 so sorry you've experienced this 😔 I had a missed miscarriage in May at 9+3 (baby measuring 7) after TTC for 2 years so I understand how devastating it is. Have you been back to EPU to check everything has passed? There's a chance you could still have retained product which is giving the positive test. I bled from the day of medical management which was May 11th until May 29th. I got a negative test on the 2nd June. I had to have 2 doses though as when I went back for a check up 2 days after the 1st there was still tissue to come even though the first day was extremely traumatic with how much I bled and passed and the pain I was in.

emmajayden971 Sun 26-Jul-20 23:15:45

We never got to see a baby as the gestational sac grew with nothing visible in it so I’m really hoping everything that came out means it has passed as I can’t imagine going back and going through it again. I wasn’t treated the best while I was there/ things weren’t explained, the nurse was embarrassed to speak about it. Just generally the worst experience I’ve ever faced. They initially told me to take a test after two weeks which will be this Tuesday then they said Friday which will be 2 + 3 days. I just want to get back to normal and be able to move forward 💔

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emmajayden971 Sun 26-Jul-20 23:16:22

Thank you for this information. How did you find this out? Sorry if that seems obvious but my experience was very negative with nothing explained.

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Stabal Sun 26-Jul-20 23:28:36

@emmajayden971 not sure if you're replying to me or not but it was my EPU that have me a follow up appointment 48 hours after my first dose. From information online and on this forum that's pretty common as there's something like 20%of people that need a further dose or that it didn't work for at all. My overall experience was horrific but my EPU were really lovely given the circumstances with covid thank god. I had 3 further check ups before being dischargedbfrom their care on the 1st of June. Did you bleed heavily or feel the sac passing? I'd give your GP a ring and explain your worries.

Stabal Sun 26-Jul-20 23:29:27

Excuse the typos, very tired 😂

emmajayden971 Mon 27-Jul-20 07:06:20

Yes so after another scan I was given a tablet then went back 24 hours later to be admitted to hospital and have the medication inserted then had to go to the toilet in bedpans all day until it passed ant they were happy for me to go home. They said what I had passed was the gestational sac so I was able to go. The bleeding carried on for 10 days and now had more of less stopped.

OP’s posts: |
Chanel05 Mon 27-Jul-20 07:24:10

Not sure if your message was to me but the information was discussed with me by a consultant when I had a mmc and then through my own experience after surgical management.

Stabal Mon 27-Jul-20 07:25:24

@emmajayden971 that's good they kept you in hospital to monitor what you passed. I was sent home because of covid and had to do it alone, vomiting and passing out with my head on the sink while on the toilet. An experience I won't forget in a hurry. Although you passed the sac there's a small chance some pregnancy tissue remains, which was the case for me. I would leave it another week and retest. Hopefully by then you'll get a negative. OPKs also give a high or positive reading when you have HCG in your system so that will be why you got that. My first cycle after was normal but this second cycle is all over the place. 🤞 for your cycle to settle soon

coffeewithmilk Mon 27-Jul-20 08:53:33

I'm sorry for your loss 💐
I had surgery for an ectopic pregnancy on June 27th and I'm still having positive pregnancy tests. I did an OPK just to see what it was and it was positive, obviously because I still have hcg in my system.
I've rang EPU and they said my pregnancy tests should be positive by now, and I might need to go back in for blood tests if it remains positive this week. Currently waiting on my tests to arrive from amazon this morning and I'll be straight back on the phone xx

coffeewithmilk Mon 27-Jul-20 08:54:08

Sorry that meant to say 'my tests should be negative by now' confused

emmajayden971 Mon 27-Jul-20 17:26:33

coffeewithmilk - so sorry to hear this. It’s the biggest pile of shit and heartbreak rolled into one isn’t it 😩 it’s absolute torture when you go through the horrible procedures and I thought I’d be back to normal shortly after and it’s all just going so painfully slow!

OP’s posts: |
emmajayden971 Mon 27-Jul-20 17:28:28

Stabal- they kept me in as I have some medical allergies which would make it really difficult if I needed any intervention or to be put to sleep. I’m so sorry you had to go through that at home I can’t imagine not being in hospital when going through this as you just have so many questions. I know it’s different for everyone but I am so desperate for my body to get back to how it was before and move forward. A pregnancy line when you know there is no baby feels like torture

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emmajayden971 Mon 27-Jul-20 17:29:41

Chanel05 - yes it was sorry I thought I’d replied directly to the comment 😩 did you take your first test again after three weeks and it was negative?

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Chanel05 Mon 27-Jul-20 18:16:43

@emmajayden971 yes, 21 days after it became negative. I did test most days beforehand and on day 20 I still had a tiny faint line still.

Stabal Mon 27-Jul-20 18:20:19

@emmajayden971 I know exactly how you feel and unfortunately I really thought it would be over quicker than it has gone. My cycle is still messed up and it's been 2 and half months. I know that's not what you want to hear but you have to be patient and remember your body has been through trauma x

Chanel05 Mon 27-Jul-20 19:15:30

@Stabal hope your body sorts itself out soon. Mine took 6 months to return to normal after my mmc.

Stabal Mon 27-Jul-20 19:19:58

@Chanel05 thank you. Like @emmajayden971 said it is like torture isn't it. A constant reminder of what's happened 😔 sorry for your loss x

emmajayden971 Wed 29-Jul-20 15:48:20

I am 15 days past now and still got a positive test. Really hoping it will go to negative soon. It sort of feels like the next steps towards moving forward 💔

OP’s posts: |
coffeewithmilk Wed 29-Jul-20 15:51:45

I went back to the hospital because I was having cramping and a positive test 1 month after my surgery, they've said it's a new pregnancy, so I'm waiting my next blood hcg on Thursday.
Such a rollercoaster of emotions.. and confusion as I don't know how it's a new pregnancy so soon after the surgery 🤷🏻‍♀️

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