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Turning 34 and anxiously waiting to TTC

(5 Posts)
EggsScrambled Mon 20-Jul-20 10:39:19

I'm 34 very soon. I've got a partner and we are planning our future together - we want to buy a house within the next year and then look to TTC. I can't shake the niggling feelings of panic I get when I realise my age and that I am realistically going to be 35 at least when we start TTC. I know women have babies much later than this, and for most it isn't a problem but I can't stop it worrying me, I am concerned with every month that goes by could be my last month or that I'm down to my last few fertile cycles. Some people are like "just start trying now!" but I need to be sensible and would much prefer to have a secure home first, as would DP, and have that commitment between me and DP. It's just stressful waiting for the right time to go for it. Anyone else in this predicament?

OP’s posts: |
Juno231 Mon 20-Jul-20 10:50:46

I'm probably going to echo others and say start now smile. TTC at 34/35 takes on average 9 months. Plus then you have another 9 months of pregnancy before the baby arrives. You could easily get a house before then? Also you don't "need" to have a house, there's no point trying to make everything perfect.

It also depends on how many kids you want? If just the one then I guess you're fine - but if you want 2-3 and there are any complications to getting pregnant you really should be getting started now.

Tobebythesea Mon 20-Jul-20 10:56:10

I would start now. You could be pregnant next month but it could be a lot longer.

Or, failing that, start doing OPKs to get to know your cycle and start prenatal vitamins?

PlanBea Mon 20-Jul-20 11:38:05

We waited for TTC, I'm now 33 and have been trying for over 18 months for our first. We also want 2-3 kids. However, if we'd been successful prior to when we started it would have meant a lot of things would have been different. It's easier to get a mortgage without dependents if you're looking at the top end of your budget for example. I've also managed to get a promotion in the meantime that gives us way more flexibility in terms of childcare and more money to survive maternity pay!

Fertility isn't a cliff edge. If you struggle at 35 you'd have likely struggled at 34. There's all the "what ifs" to anything, but for us, waiting was the sensible thing to do. I had a list of fun things I wanted to do before TTC. You've got your big thing of buying a house, but maybe you want to go on holiday or a spa weekend, have a lazy weekend where you achieve exactly nothing, go out afternoon drinking with your best friends. It doesn't have to all be big, sensible things, just little things you want to do "one last time" before life changes. It helps give little goals and things to look forward to.

LeopardLover Mon 20-Jul-20 11:55:00

I'm 34 (TTC) and waited to get the house - which I don't regret, especially in this climate. We wouldn't have been able to get it if I wasn't earning a full-time wage.

I absolutely understand your concerns, I too had the same thoughts but like someone else said, fertility doesn't drop off a cliff edge at 35. The more I learn, the more I realise you can have problems in your early 20s, or be super fertile abd 35+.

It's all personal preference, but maybe you could get prepped? Starting eating right, taking the right vitamins etc so you're good to go and feel less like you're wasting time? Or just go for it and see what happens. 😊 You aren't alone!

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