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When to try for a second

(6 Posts)
nokia3210567 Fri 10-Jul-20 15:26:31


Just wanted peoples thoughts and opinions on this? Obviously nature is nature and you can't always plan these things!

TLDR Have a one year old when is best to have a second baby in your experience

Full details:
Fell pregnant by accident with DS1, wasn't planning on a baby at all at the time.

DS1 is one this month and we are moving in August to a bigger house. Is it best to have a second one now before you remember what sleep is like or better to wait and have a bigger gap?

My main worry is how I would manage a 2 year old and a baby but so many people do? I have found the past year tough especially 3-6 month stage but starting to feel like 'myself' again and like I have now found my new 'mum identity'

I like the idea of them being closer in age to play together. My partner was and is very close to his brother and I am close to all my siblings though the smallest gap is four years between me and my younger sister so a much bigger gap and we are still close.

Also might seem silly but I haven't lost the baby weight yet so its almost as if I should just get the second pregnancy put of the way then focus on my weight and fitness after baby no2!

Sorry bit rambley but didn't want to drip feed.

OP’s posts: |
Aquamarine1029 Fri 10-Jul-20 15:30:22

I got pregnant with my daughter when my son was 15 months. I think it's a perfect age gap. They grew up together and are still very, very close as adults. I didn't think it was hard having a newborn and 2 year old at all.

Littlepoppet1 Fri 10-Jul-20 16:05:20

I’ve just started trying for No2 and my DD is 19MO. Started trying last month when she was 18 months. To be honest I would probably have left it longer but we had some fertility issues when TTC DD and it took the best part of 2 years so I didn’t want wait too long before starting to try for 2nd. I didn’t feel at all ready until she was 18 months though. Had we not had problems the first time I’d be waiting until she was at least 2 but mainly for childcare/financial reasons. Could you afford 2 lots of childcare having 2 so close together or would you be a SAHM or have family help?

Curiosity101 Fri 10-Jul-20 16:51:51

I've seen quite a few of these threads over the past month cause I have been wondering the same thing. The general consensus seems to be that the best age gap is whatever gap you get. In the sense that unless you have several children then you won't have anything to compare it to anyway.

In my case we're planning to TTC when our DS is around 15 months old because I'll have been back at work for a few months and if we tried any sooner I wouldn't be eligible for enhanced maternity pay.

Tootletum Fri 10-Jul-20 16:54:08

I have a 22 month age gap so got pregnant when first was just over one. It's not as bad as you think, however I found the 2.5 year age gap between 2nd and 3rd a total nightmare.

nokia3210567 Fri 10-Jul-20 17:21:49

I do flexible freelance work (do it in the evenings and weekends) so childcare isn't an issue as I am at home all the time haha

Thank you for your responses so far.

I am thinking of retraining when child/children start school so a small age gap would be good for that too as I could start sooner. I'm 29 x

OP’s posts: |

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