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When to stop ttc

(6 Posts)
PutOnAHappyFace Tue 07-Jul-20 19:42:58

After 3 miscarages and a MMC a year ago tomorrow (so may be feeling a bit delicate) when do you decide that enough is enough?

I used to think it was fine because I could obviously get pregnant so one day it will work out, but now after nearly a year of nothing, I don't know if I can take anymore disappointment and just give up.

Does anyone else feel the same?

OP’s posts: |
impatientlyinfertile Wed 08-Jul-20 15:06:14

Im sorry about your miscarriages love. Its really hard to say. I've been trying nearly 3 years 1 ivf 2 early miscarriages and I just can't give up my heart wont let me. We had "months off" I just hid all the trying from my partner so he could relax a bit. I think some people are just ready to stop i don't know but even now in between ivf cycles im peeing on a stick like somethings going to happen. Your dr should refer you to investigate your reaccurant miscarriages if that is what you want. Sending love, I hope whatever you decide you get a bit of peace xx

PlanBea Wed 08-Jul-20 15:47:24

Sorry to hear about your miscarriages. It feels so unfair when the route to motherhood is so difficult.

I think the time to stop trying is when the pain of BFN gets too much. It doesn't mean it's off forever, but some genuine not-TTC time could help your mental health. Whether in that time you have investigations into your multiple losses or just step away from it all is very personal of a decision. Whether it's time to actively avoid pregnancy until you have investigations into your losses again is personal. I think there's a moment where you go "this month I can't deal with this". It doesn't need to be a forever decision. Take it month by month if that works for the two of you.

I'm at month 19 of TTC. I've had some months of trying everything going, others where it's barely been on the radar. I'm not at a point of giving up yet. I know I want to be a mum but I know it might not look like the usual route for me and DH. If we decide to undergo a different route (like adoption) we'd probably actively avoid pregnancy, but for now we don't have a reason to do that.

PutOnAHappyFace Wed 08-Jul-20 18:05:29

Thank you both for your really lovely replies. I'm so sorry you are having to experience the rubbish side of TTC as well.

I have a consultant at the recurrent miscarriage clinic, my 4th miscarriage was genetically tested and they found the baby had down syndrome. They think I'm just unlucky, which just seems so unfair.

Every month I think 'right this is gonna be it' I feel so positive then the bfn tests come along followed by a period and I just want to jack it all in.

I'm gonna light a candle for my little lost baby this evening and just see how I feel in a week or two.

OP’s posts: |
Szalinski Sat 11-Jul-20 02:25:01

So sorry that you have had so much loss to deal with OP.

I've just had my second miscarriage and am now wondering if I should call it a day. I'm nearly 38 so time not exactly on my side and I don't know if I can put myself through this again. Plus I'm now paranoid that my eggs aren't in great nick.

No idea what the answer is but just wanted to say you're not alone thanks

PutOnAHappyFace Wed 22-Jul-20 23:06:07

@Szalinski I'm so sorry you have had to experience a recent loss.

I'm also worried about age starting to be a factor especially after our last lost baby having T21. We have decided to give it a couple more months and then call it quits.

Sorry for my late reply, I hope you're doing ok.

OP’s posts: |

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