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Scared to test

(15 Posts)
Coulditbe3 Wed 20-May-20 12:29:43

Hi, I’m not sure why I’m posting really as the only way to tell if I’m pregnant, is to do a test!

Thing is, as the title says, I’m really scared to test. I’m in my late 30s, happily married with 2 DC in primary school. We hadn’t planned to have any more children and have got rid of EVERYTHING.

My periods have always been fairly irregular but I’m a week later than I have been for a good year. I’ve got some early pregnancy symptoms - sore boobs, headaches, cramps, nausea, emotional - but I can get all of those when my period is due.

In the whole of our 16 year relationship, DH and I have only had unprotected sex when we were actively trying to conceive. Except this month 🙄 it happened once and DH withdrew but we all know that’s not exactly reliable.

The reason I’m scared is I’m nervous about it being both positive and negative! If it’s positive, a baby would be loved and welcomed by the whole family. We have a big enough house, can afford it, all those things. But the timing isn’t great and we had moved on from that part of our lives. If it’s negative, despite everything, I think I’ll be really disappointed. I’m really at a head in the sand point!

I’m not sure what anyone can say to all of this. I think I just needed to write it down.

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Coulditbe3 Wed 20-May-20 12:30:01

Wow, long!

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TheBabyAteMyBrain Wed 20-May-20 12:33:13

Like you said there is only one way to find out, I'll be a virtual hand hold as you do if you would like.

I had pretty muxh the same situation a month or so a go and it definitely opened up some longing which I thought had been put to bed. It's a strange feeling.

Coulditbe3 Wed 20-May-20 12:54:50

Thank you. I haven’t even bought a test yet 🙈 You summed it up perfectly though saying it’s a strange feeling, bringing up what you thought of as definitely in the past. How are you dealing with it?

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NoCallerID Wed 20-May-20 13:44:36

@Coulditbe3 I think @TheBabyAteMyBrain summed it up quite well about the longing... I hope too get your answers soon.

TheBabyAteMyBrain Wed 20-May-20 13:48:33

Test was negative, but it did bring me and dh to rehash the question of one more. We did decide in the end that although another child would be wonderful it's not practical for us or for our current children.

But, it was a good discussion to have, as it showed both of us were on the same page and should a result in the future be positive it wouldn't be the end of the world and we would be happy to find a way to make it work.

Coulditbe3 Wed 20-May-20 15:52:22

Thank you @NoCallerID, it was summed up really well.

@TheBabyAteMyBrain I’m pleased you came to a resolution you were happy with.

I’ve just ordered a pregnancy test to be delivered tomorrow. No doubt period will show up before then.

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TheBabyAteMyBrain Wed 20-May-20 18:49:52

@Coulditbe3 I'll check in tomorrow for that hand hold if wanted or just a chinwag about the result, whatever it may be ☺

Maybe save some fmu so you don't end up with some squinter and driving yourself crazy!

Coulditbe3 Thu 21-May-20 06:44:35

@TheBabyAteMyBrain, that’s so kind, thank you. Despite your excellent suggestion, I forgot to save some fmu so will likely test in the morning. I’ve had some nausea and retching since waking up but it has been mild. With both my dc I had horrific sickness from very early on until I gave birth (joy!) so maybe it’s just my hormones all over the place and my period is delayed.

Hope you have a good day.

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NoCallerID Thu 21-May-20 07:52:31

@Coulditbe3 if you still wanted to test today - there are women (incl me) who get stronger lines later in the day after a few hours hold than with FMU.

TheBabyAteMyBrain Thu 21-May-20 12:49:03

Sympathies for the all pregnancy sickness. I had it with both of my two, from before the positive test until I pushed them out, I don't think I'll ever get over it 😂 I still have a crazy sensitive gag reflex.

@NoCallerID is right especially as you're a week past when you expected your period.

Coulditbe3 Thu 21-May-20 19:35:34

Thanks ladies. I didn’t test today as I got into my head I would do it Friday if my period didn’t show up by then. I’m sorry if it seems like I’m attention seeking or dragging it out. That’s really not my intention, I’m just being a bit rigid in my thinking.

My gag reflex was virtually non-existent prior to pregnancy. Since, it’s been really sensitive. Never returned to normal.

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Coulditbe3 Fri 22-May-20 08:00:00

Good morning. Well I did the test and it was negative. I’m ok with it but I’m now up to day 40 on this cycle still with no period and it’s making me feel awful, especially the cramps that I’ve been having for a week now on and off. Thank you @NoCallerID and @TheBabyAteMyBrain for your support the last few days.

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TheBabyAteMyBrain Fri 22-May-20 08:19:42

@Coulditbe3 at least you have the result so it's one less thing to worry about.

Hopefully your period arrives soon and the cramps ease off. Being female can be super sucky sometimes!

Coulditbe3 Fri 22-May-20 08:23:32

Yes, it really is. I’ve been reading how lots of women’s cycles could be affected at the moment due to the unusual and stressful circumstances that we are living in right now too.

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