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Over 35+, TTC , join here.😊😊

(524 Posts)
Happyhappy37 Sat 16-May-20 11:52:43

Hello everyone,

I am 37 going on 38 in December. TTC baby number 3. Came off the pill on the 1st may (2020). Previously I was on syanna press( depo).
I ovulated yesterday 😊
I only just finished my period on the 9th so didn't expect ovulation just yet. Also I am very new to using ovulation test. This is my second time using it. I am using the easy@home brand.
I have two boys ages 15 and 3years.❤️

Please join on this journey with me, so we can cheer each other up, share advice and information etc..

Good luck to all. flowerssmile

MrsTtobe Sat 16-May-20 12:00:40

Hi, I'm 35, 36 in July. Ive got 2 children, boy 14 and girl 2 so my children similar ages to yours. Me and partner desperately want third to complete our little family. I came off the pill (microgynon) Oct 19, my last period was 24th Jan then the month after found out we had conceived. We were so so happy. Then unfortunately I had a spontaneous miscarriage at 11 weeks pregnant, it was over Easter weekend. Was absolutely horrific but we got through it. Just been waiting for my first AF so we could start trying again and I came on yesterday so CD2 for me of cycle #1 of ttc.
Hoping and praying it only takes a few months again. 🙏
Good luck to you xx

Happyhappy37 Sat 16-May-20 12:07:47

@MrsTtobe am sorry for your loss. Miscarriages are awful.
Wishing you the best of luck. Hopefully you get a bfp sticky bean soon.

Are you doing anything differently to try and up your chances?

As I've heard so much negative things about TTC after 35+ , which I don't really put on my mind. I am just going to keep using the ovulation test and try to lose a few pounds.
Thank you for joining. smile

MrsTtobe Sat 16-May-20 12:33:08

Thank you and I hope you do too.

How long had you been on the pill? Did you conceive your 3 yr old quickly?

My other 2 were conceived so easily so the fact it took a few months this time really started to worry me but it was only 4 cycles so lucky it didn't take long but obviously that ended in miscarriage so now I'm terrified. Obviously I put the miscarriage down to me being over 35 but the EPU nurses were very reassuring and said that statistics are still good for women between 35 and 39. It's not much more than the general 1 in 4.

I have quite short cycles (25-28) on average so I took vitamin b complex, I'd heard on here it's good for your monthly cycle and thickening of uterus etc. Funnily enough and maybe coincidental but I didn't start talking it until the Jan and I conceived the cycle after. So I may take that again but I dont like taking too many supplements and already take my pregnacare.
Are you doing anything in particular? I don't test ovulation or temp or anything as I know I would become obsessed. We just dtd every other day, it's exhausting. 🤣

Happyhappy37 Sat 16-May-20 12:49:21

@MrsTtobe I've been on the pill for about 4 months. I conceived my 3 year old in 2 cycles.
It may or may not happen the same this time around.
I have 28-30 day cycle.
I am not doing anything in particular to increase my chances. Just trying to lose some weight not just TTC reasons, but because I have to. Am 13.5 stones 🙆🏾‍♀️
Maybe I should start taking some folic acid or pregnacare.
I believe you will get pregnant very soon, because 4 cycles is really not too bad. Also a few people get pregnant soon after a miscarriage.

Happyhappy37 Sat 16-May-20 12:51:26

@MrsTtobe DTD every other day is pure commitment. Lol am not so committed. My partner defo wouldn't say no to that. gringrin

Moominmiss Sat 16-May-20 12:53:08

Hey 🙋🏼‍♀️ Also 37 here, will be 38 in a few months.

I have 3 children with my ex husband, and so now ttc my fourth. It will be my partners first though so I sort of feel the pressure although he says he’s happy whether we’re able to have a baby or not.

I came off the pill (microgynon/rigevidon) at the end of August 2019 and we started ttc September 2019. I got my bfp late November 2019, but sadly mc at 9 weeks.
I then got my second bfp in March 2020 but that ended up as a chemical pregnancy.
af is due tomorrow. Definitely not pregnant this cycle as I’ve had plenty of bfn’s and can feel af is nearly here.
So onto next month!

This cycle just gone I did take soy isoflavones to bring ovulation forward as I’d noticed I’d ovulated late a few times on cd22, so read about them acting like clomid to bring it earlier and it did, to cd14 so I’ll be taking them again this cycle.
Starting to feel like it just won’t happen for us. I try not to let the age thing get to me, but it seems impossible to ignore everything that says how much harder it will be after 35.

Good luck to all of you though!!!

Happyhappy37 Sat 16-May-20 13:19:48

@Mooninmiss welcome to our journey.

Please remain positive, don't give too much thought to negativety. I know it's hard ,but it can be done.
You are the same age as me. I do understand that you are feeling pressure, because you want to be able to give your partner his first child. You gave him two, unfortunately they didn't stick. It will happen again.
I am sorry for your

However, it clear that your body is functioning and is very much capable of getting pregnant.

Spend a few minutes per talk to say positive things to and about yourself. Mediate often on these thoughts.

Good luck to you on your soon to be bfp sticky beansmile

Happyhappy37 Sat 16-May-20 13:20:47


MrsTtobe Sat 16-May-20 13:33:42

Hi @Moominmiss I'm sorry for your losses. It really is heartbreaking. I would say for the first week or so after I cried every day. I wasnt sure I wanted to try again nor sue I could get through that pain again. However, 6 weeks on and im feeling so much more positive.
Me and oh have spoke about it and we're blessed with the children we have however if another is meant for us that would be absolutely amazing. We're hopeful but trying not to let it distract us from being happy with what we already have. ❤

@Happyhappy37 🤣 yes dtd every other day is my only exercise 🤣 but I hate the thought of our sex life turning into pure baby making 🤣 so we try to keep the romance alive. X

Moominmiss Sat 16-May-20 13:40:14

@Happyhappy37 thank you.

It’s so nice to hear positive words. It’s all too easy to become consumed by negativity sometimes and ttc can feel like a really lonely journey to be on.

When I fell pregnant last year, we told my brother and his wife, and my dad, as well as my 2 closest friends. It was nice to have their support when things went wrong, but since then I’ve not spoken to anyone but my partner about ttc. I’m sure they guess we’re still trying but I won’t be telling them if we’re kicking enough to conceive again.
My sil actually fell pregnant at the same time as I did last year, our due dates were 4 days apart, so it’s hard to see her still pregnant and thinking that’s where I should be.
Then one of the close friends I’d told about my pregnancy and mc, announced her pregnancy and she’s currently 18 weeks so it just starts to sting a bit and I hate feeling bitterness towards people I care about.

I try to tell myself that I’ve fallen pregnant twice so my body can still do it, but then I do question why it couldn’t hang onto the pregnancies twice in a row. When my 3 children were all conceived within 3 cycles, and I’ve never mc before.

My periods have become much lighter lately, they’ve always been 4 days long, but I used to bleed properly on each day, now I only get a day or 2 of usual flow, and 2 of very light flow or spotting. So I do worry I could be perhaps entering the perimenopause stage.

I take folic acid every day, and vit d.

I’m overweight for my height though and I wonder if that might be affecting things so I am trying to lose a couple of stones.

It’s just such a rollercoaster of emotions, each cycle I go from being hopeful, to excited, to then feeling low and depresssd when I know I’ve not conceived, to then impatient for af to arrive so we can start again. And then the whole process begins again. It can definitely feel draining.

As a couple we always enjoyed a lot of sex, and often had it every day out of choice, now even every other day can sometimes feel like a chore!

This cycle, once af has been and gone, I think we might try smep and see how that goes. I use opk’s so hopefully can time it right!

Thank you so much though, it would be lovely to see this turn into a lucky thread where we all get our bfp’s!!

Moominmiss Sat 16-May-20 13:47:22

@MrsTtobe I’m sorry for your loss, it’s truly heartbreaking. I actually don’t think the first mc really hit me until my subsequent chemical pregnancy and then I sobbed my heart out for days.

I am so truly thankful for the children I already have, but I would dearly love to be able to give my partner a child of his own. He is amazing with my kids, and I know he’d make a wonderful father.

I definitely try not to let ttc consume me, but it’s hard. I do try to not let onto my partner when I’m ovulating, so that to him we’re just dtd as normal and he isn’t aware of the pressure lol.

Kangaroo77 Sat 16-May-20 13:57:12

Hello ladies 👋🏻 delighted time find this older mums thread. I'm 42 years old and ttc for my third child. @Moominmiss there are some similarities: my current children (4 & 6 yrs old) are from a previous relationship so this will be my partners first. Again, he's excited to try but it isn't the end of the world if it doesn't happen.

I was pregnant recently. I found out on Xmas day after coming off nexplanon implant last October. I felt quick! Unfortunately there were multiple issues after the 12 week scan and I terminated for T9 at 16 weeks, mid March. I'm on my second cycle since then and feeling well and fit. Apparently T9 is fluke and not necessarily age related. I'm obviously anxious about trying but mostly positive. I'm taking vit D spray, conception gummies and coq10 to help my egg quality.

I'm currently 6dpo. Lovely to join you all xxx

Moominmiss Sat 16-May-20 14:16:09

@Kangaroo77 hi! There really are some similarities in our situations.
I do love my oh is happy either way so I feel no pressure from him to give him a baby, it’s purely pressure from myself!

I’m so sorry about your loss, it must have been devastating for you.
I do worry about the heightened risk of chromosome issues being older.
I’m not entirely sure what I’d do if I found out a baby had something wrong. I understand that some issues aren’t compatible with life, in which case the decision is largely taken out of your hands, but truthfully if I found out a baby had downs I’m not sure if I’d continue. I know that may cause judgment and I do get that any baby is precious, and if it were my first, then there would be no problem, but having 3 children already I feel it wouldn’t be fair to either them or a baby with additional needs. I don’t feel I could give an additional needs baby the extra attention it would need, and I feel it would take too much attention from my children that I already have.
All that being said, I’ve not been in the situation where I’ve had to make that call, so I may feel differently in a real life situation.

I’m glad you’re feeling well 2 cycles on.

Sending you all the luck in the world! 🤞🏻

Happyhappy37 Sat 16-May-20 14:18:00

@Moominmiss you are welcome. Our bodies are precious and only if we could understand it a little better.
Ok I didn't want to bring this up, but I try to not to dwell on what we have no control over.
I had two miscarriages, one before my eldest, and one before my youngest. The way I look at it, is, maybe the formation of the embryo wasn't in alignment with the natural order of how it was meant to be so my body saw it as an issue and aborted(so to speak) it.
Don't feel down when the people around are pregnant, be happy. It will happen for you again.
Trust me it's hard I know, I was a massive Debbie Downer for a long time and I had to train myself to be positive and find a positive way of handling situations.
Lol on the other hand good luck on not letting TTC consume, I've just started TTC and I can feel the consummation slowly rearing its head 🤣.
Massive positive energy from me to you Hun.

@MrsTtobe please be gentle on your vagi🤣🤣 it will get sore you know 🙈🙆🏾‍♀️

@Kangaroo77 welcome welcome. Good luck and positive vibes to you and your partner.
Are you planning on testing before the dreaded af date?
Have you noticed any encouraging signs?

Sticky bean baby dust to allflowers

Moominmiss Sat 16-May-20 14:25:15

@Happyhappy37 you’re so right! I do feel so much better in myself when I stay positive.
I think it’s just because af is due tomorrow I’ve felt low. But then I try to see it as the start of my next chance. A whole new cycle to do everything right!
I’m sorry for your losses too. I think until you talk to others that are ttc you don’t realise how heartbreakingly often it happens.

Oh god, every single month I promise myself I will not let myself get consumed, and I’m fine until I start doing the opk’s and then I’m crazy ttc lady 😂 it’s just impossible to ignore what’s going on in your own body so even on the occasions I’ve tried to switch off and not let ttc control me, I’ve ended up knowing my body so well that I know my ovulation signs, sand then I can’t exactly ignore it lol. It’s a never ending cycle!

I’m also a serial poas addict!!! I test stupidly early knowing it’s a physical impossibility to be pregnant, and yet I still do it. This cycle I tested at 4dpo 😂🙈

Again, each month I tell myself I won’t test until af is due or late, but usually if I’ve managed to hold out, by 8dpo I’m craving that poas feeling. I’ve had to get my partner to hide my good tests like my frers, so I only have my cheap one step eBay tests I can use.

Kangaroo77 Sat 16-May-20 14:25:49

Thanks 😊

I totally feel the same @Moominmiss so no judgement here. Tbh it's really rubbish finding out there are issues, especially chromosome ones but I take some solace in the face at least we live in an age where it can be quickly identified and managed 😏.

@Happyhappy37 thank you 🙏🏻. It sounds a rough ride for you too but great attitude, it's the only way to pull through these things isn't it. Nothing major to report but appreciate it's still early xxxx

Moominmiss Sat 16-May-20 14:33:02

@Kangaroo77 thank you. I do definitely feel happier knowing that most things can be detected relatively early.
Did you have the combined tests done? The blood test and nuchal fold measurement?
I have thought that I’d get the combined test, and then probably regardless of the result being high or low risk I might pay privately for the harmony test, then depending on the results of that, have an amnio or cvs.
I always had a really low risk in my previous pregnancies, like 1:30,000 etc, so things like that never crossed my mind, but I know now I’m older the risks will be higher.
I was only 32 when I last had a baby, so while 5 years doesn’t seem like such a long time, I know In fertility terms it’s huge.

Kangaroo77 Sat 16-May-20 14:50:20

@Moominmiss Yes I had both actually, the NIPT (harmony) and nhs screening. The NIPT failed twice last time, so my high risk came from nhs screening. I had extremely low pappa and ok NT measurement. My odds were 1/21 for T18/T13. T9 was confirmed after the second set of CVS results. Painful waiting.

Strangely I had T13 with my first pregnancy (terminated at 19 weeks). I then went on to have 2 healthy girls, but had harmony with both for extra reassurance.

I'm hopeful and positive we'll have our rainbow baby despite my older age 🥰. My fear is I don't seem to miscarry poorly babies. I get pregnant ok but hang on to them regardless. Not sure I can cope with another surgical termination so keeping my fingers crossed I'll be luckier this time 🤞🏻

I had my first baby at 35 and second at 37. My SIL is due to have her baby any day at 38 and two of my close friends had babies at 43 💓

MrsTtobe Sat 16-May-20 14:58:48

@Happyhappy37 that made me laugh out loud...🤣🤣 I will be easy on the vagi don't worry. It's his bits that seem to get a bit sore if anything. 🙈🤣 I tell him to man up and soldier through. 🤣

Welcome @Kangaroo77 we seem a nice enough bunch so stick with us and we will help you through. 🤣

So what CD are we all on?
Im CD2 of cycle #1

Flutterby8 Sat 16-May-20 15:02:03

Is there room for another one??
I'm 36 and TTC our 1st baby. I currently feel way out of my depth with everything to be honest!!
I had been on a variety of different contraceptive pills since I was 21, all of which gave me bad side effects. The only one that helped was Yasmin, however it gave me high blood pressure and I was switched to the mini pill. This again didnt help and 2 years ago I hit the point of being sick of constant migraines so stopped taking it.
Since then we havent been 'trying' but havent been careful either. Not a sight of a baby (although one poss chemical along the way).
My periods are not regular and range from 28 to 36 days.
From reading this forum I've recently started tracking my cycles and using OPK's, but I wont lie, I'm so confused confused

Everyone around me has either got their family sorted or are currently pregnant and it's hard, but then in a way, it was my decision to leave things til now. I wanted to do alot before we had a family which I've done and I'm happy.
But I know this isnt going to be easy.

Sorry to read about your previous losses. I cant begin to imagine how hard it would have been for you all.

Happyhappy37 Sat 16-May-20 15:23:37

@Flutterby8 welcome welcome.
Sorry that it hasn't happened yet, given you've been preventing for two. Hopefully it will happen for you soon. However, you could ask you Mr to go check how is soldiers are doing 😊 . Sometimes we automatically assume it's us that's the problem. Sending you and your partner positive energy.
@MrsTtobe I am ashamed to say this but , do you know I always don't understand the CD cycle works🙈 like I know yesterday was my ovulation day, but I honestly am clueless in the CD thing is calculated.🙆🏾‍♀️
Please help me learn 🤣🤣 the last day of my period was the 9th may. 🙈🙈
Am I even a woman?🙆🏽‍♀️Imagine I don't know this 🙈🙈🙈
Yesterday day ovulation test , and I don't know if it's positive

Happyhappy37 Sat 16-May-20 15:25:05

@Flutterby8 not been

Kangaroo77 Sat 16-May-20 15:32:45

Looks a strong ovulation test! I'm 6dpo and CD (cycle day) 23. So basically I started my last period 23 days ago. Mine go up to about 34 days before period starts again.

MrsTtobe Sat 16-May-20 15:33:02

@Happyhappy37 bless you 🤣🤣 don't be ashamed, we're all learning together. So your cd 1 is the first day of your period. I came on yesterday, so I'm on cd 2 today. I think on average we ovulate around day 14 I think however I always ovulate early, around day 9. But my cycles are short ish. I know I'm ovulating because I feel a twinge on one side on and off all day. 😊
So when was the first day of your last period?

Welcome @Flutterby8 sending you lots of luck.

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