Advanced search

TTC Baby #1 Over one year

(22 Posts)
CL1234 Fri 03-Apr-20 16:20:01

Hi Everyone

Starting this thread to see if anyone is in the same position as me & basically for support. I have never done anything like this before but feel like right now i have lost all hope.

Ive been off contraception for 2.2 years and actively TTC for 15 months with no luck. I have periods every month and according to OPKs i ovulate every month. I have had bloods done which all came back normal and was referred to a feritlity clinic but with everything going on it has been cancelled which i am devastated about.

I have tried acupuncture which seemed to calm me down but again thats been disrupted because of the current situation.

Honestly right now i have just lost all hope, i find myself bursting into tears constantly and i cant be around anyone. For the first year i was positive but now i am just worrying all the time. I cant seem to stop thinking about it 24/7 and find that all of my friends are pregnant its just constant sadness. Just wondering if anyone else feels like this/is in the same situation? and if you was what helped you to become pregnant?

OP’s posts: |
LFH1990 Fri 03-Apr-20 21:22:25

Hi CL1234, I’m right there with you, been trying for 15 months, not even a sniff of being pregnant, it’s like I’m so far off being pregnant it’s ridiculous! I’ve had my blood tests done, day 2 test was fine but Day 21 test was low and couldn’t confirm ovulation. I had guessed that I hadn’t ovulated this month by checking CM, but was still a bit gutted for it to come back showing a problem.
DH’s SA has been cancelled with everything that’s going on, and I know that a lot of people have much bigger problems at the moment but I can’t help being angry that we’ve basically lost a year waiting for tests etc.
I had a consultation with an acupuncturist just before this started, but obviously that’s all on hold now, it’s all very frustrating!
I’m ok most of the time, but I’m constantly on guard for a friend announcing they’re pregnant because I know I can’t have anyone surprise me with their good news without crying, which makes me feel guilty...
I’m sure everything will work out for both of us in the end, but I definitely feel as though it’s all very unfair sometimes.
Nice to know it’s not just me though 😊

CL1234 Fri 03-Apr-20 22:22:55

@lfh1990 hey!!! Thanks for replying it’s nice to have someone to talk to it about isn’t it? I’m sorry your going through the same thing. It’s so frustrating isn’t it?
I started acupuncture was going once a week for about 10 weeks, I found it made me create a lot more cervical mucus around ovulation and made my periods more regular, so if I was you I would defonately go for it! Make sure you see someone who it vita west regulated as they are fertility specialists.
Also another thing I’ve started taking is COq10 as my friend had been trying a year and then took them for 3 months and got pregnant! Along with vita DHA so try them also!
I agree it’s so frustrating to have everything put on hold whilst all this is happening! And yes it’s nice to hve someOne who’s in the same situation to talk to! As all my friends/family are just no help at the moment! Fingers crossed we are lucky soon xx

OP’s posts: |
LFH1990 Sat 04-Apr-20 08:49:44

Yeah it’s definitely nice to be reminded that it’s not just you, and have someone to talk to who gets friends are all really nice and they try to be supportive but I just feel like they can’t possibly understand how sad it is when you want something so much and there’s just nothing you can do about it.
The acupuncture sounds promising, I just want to get started now! It must be so annoying for you that it was having an impact and you had to stop. Thanks for the tips with the supplements, I’ll definitely give them a go, at the moment I think I’d run round the village naked carrying a peacock feather if someone told me it might get me pregnant 😂
One thing that’s really helping me at the moment is speaking to people who I assumed got pregnant straight away, and finding out that actually a lot of them had been trying for over a year, I sometimes feel like you either get pregnant on your first try or it’s not going to work; so that was really helpful to remind me that just because it’s not working right away doesn’t mean that it won’t work soon xx

Skyla01 Sat 04-Apr-20 08:56:39

Hiya ladies. We're on month 13 of TTC number 1. We were planning to go to Drs for tests after this cycle, but we are putting that on hold. With all the coronavirus cancellations to fertility clinics I'm really hoping we can conceive naturally!

I completely understand all of your feelings and frustrations, but I think I'm managing to keep things positive. When your struggling to ttc it's shitty, but for our own sanity and well being I think we need to try and keep as positive as possible and grounded. And keep the faith that things will work out in the end!

The most useful thing I found was stopping opks (my cycles are pretty regular anyway). That really reduced my stress levels. I've also just started doing some fertility yoga that I found on YouTube. There is a woman called Bettina Rae I've been following. She does a lot of positive thinking / meditation, which sounds a bit wacky perhaps, but has really helped me chill out.

What is coq10 for? Don't think I've heard if that.

CL1234 Sat 04-Apr-20 10:31:26

@LFH1990 yes defonately go for the acupuncture! When I was doing the opks beforehand I would never get any high fertility days only peak, and no cervical mucus, then after about 5 sessions I ended up getting 4 high days and my peak and LOTS of cervical mucus which made me feel super positive, I do genuinely believe it works.
Yes I also feel I would do anything at this point if it meant me getting pregnant haha! Got to laugh haven’t we!
Welcome @Skyla01 and sorry your also in the same long boat of ttc! It’s crazy how many of us have been trying so long, I think I just assumed I would get pregnant straight away and it’s just not that simple! Your right about keeping positive, I do try my hardest but some days I just feel completely exhausted from it all as it’s all I think about! Will defonately give the yoga and meditation a go, is she just on google? I’ll try anything to relax myself at this point, coq10 is for egg quality my friend actually found it on a blog here is the link give it a read and see what you think!

OP’s posts: |
Skyla01 Sat 04-Apr-20 12:36:51

@CL1234 ooh that stuff is pricey! Sounds worth a shot though. Maybe in another 6 months I'll splash out...! I'd like to try fertility acupuncture though. Yes you can find Bettina Rae on Google. I'd really recommend giving it a go. Unfortunately we're in this for the long haul (hopefully not too much longer...!) so I think it's important to try and find peace with the process.

That's a good point @LFH1990 we always just assume everyone else has it easy. Many women won't talk about ttc struggles and pregnancy losses openly so we often don't realise how many people struggle too.

CL1234 Sat 04-Apr-20 16:44:41

@Skyla01 I think it’s defo worth a try, but if I was going to spend any money it would be the acupuncture, I have found that helped me more than anything, again that’s super pricey though at £35 a session once a week but honestly swear by it! Just gutted my sessions had to stop with all of this!

OP’s posts: |
Skyla01 Sun 05-Apr-20 08:18:58

@CL1234 that's a shame your sessions have been postponed. Fingers crossed not too long before we can get back out and about (6 to 8 wks, maybe?). I guess it will be interesting to see if your positive cycle changes stay in place or not. During acupuncture did they talk about your uterus being cold? I read about that being a Chinese medicine thing. Cold feet = cold uterus. A couple of cycles ago I was sitting with a hot water bottle on my feet most nights! It didn't work that cycle....! ;)

CL1234 Sun 05-Apr-20 21:42:43

Hopefully 6-8 weeks but I’m thinking at the min it will be longer sad it’s driving me mad do you feel the same?
Yes they did! They looked at my tongue too and said I’m a cold person (which I am I suffer with Reynards disease) always have cold hands and feet! He told me to eat warm foods and always keep warm but to be honest the acupuncture improved my circulation! I definitely believe in it

OP’s posts: |
CL1234 Sun 05-Apr-20 21:43:14


OP’s posts: |
handbaglover93 Sun 05-Apr-20 21:53:10

Hi! I totally understand your frustration. Me and my partner both 26 have been trying for 15 months now, I have been off contraception for over 2 1/2 years. I just had my bloods done before all of the current Coronavirus situation and they have come back normal, obviously can't have any further tests which is really frustrating. My go didn't seem too worried which did bother me a bit as it's really difficult trying to remain positive every month. Best of luck to you on your journey and I hope you get your bfp soon. I am also going to be trying acupuncture when all of this is over xx

handbaglover93 Sun 05-Apr-20 21:55:09

Mean to say GP** !!

LFH1990 Mon 06-Apr-20 09:29:24

@Skyla01 I didn’t manage to start acupuncture I just went for the consultation, but she did tell me to avoid drinking very cold drinks as it would cool my uterus, and she did recommend that I keep my feet warm so who knows! I’m quite sceptical that it will make any difference whether my feet are warm, but I’ll try anything at the moment!!! I think one of the problems I’m finding is that I was doing ok at staying positive whilst I felt like I was being proactive and doing everything I could to push on, but now it feels like there is absolutely nothing I can do because everywhere is shut and everyone has more important things to deal with - I completely get it, but it makes me feel really useless that I just have to sit around doing nothing for months on end. You never know though, maybe with all of this free time on our hands we’ll crack it on our own?!

CL1234 Mon 06-Apr-20 10:08:13

@handbaglover93 Welcome!! Sorry your going through the same thing! its so frustrating and with all this time on our hands i think we are bound to think about it more! I did tell my GP i had been trying 2 years and thats when they sent me to the fertility clinic (which has obviously been cancelled) i think we all think as soon as we try its going to happen which isnt the case for most, just that people dont tell us their struggles! Its good to talk to people who are in the same situation though to know your not alone! What contraception was you on previous? i was on the depo shot and im starting to think thats why its taking so long to come out my system! xx

OP’s posts: |
handbaglover93 Mon 06-Apr-20 10:12:45

@CL1234 it's comforting to know there are others going through the same thing! Sometimes I feel like everyone managed to fall pregnant so easily and has no idea of the struggles! I was on Rigevidon combined pill for about 4/5 years. When I came off my periods car back pretty quickly and I am like clockwork every month. Sometimes I worry contraception has an affect on fertility but who knows xx

LFH1990 Mon 06-Apr-20 10:41:20

Hi @handbaglover93, it’s really difficult, you spend your whole life thinking that contraception is essential because you’ll definitely get pregnant without it and then you can’t get pregnant when you try! It seemed to me that people fell into two groups, you either got pregnant within three months, or you didn’t get pregnant at all, but the more people I speak to the more I hear about it taking 12-24 months but then being completely fine, so I think it’s definitely more common for it to take a while, but people don’t talk about it. That’s why it helps to have these threads so you can be reminded that not everyone is getting pregnant at the drop of a hat...definitely feels like it sometimes though!!

Lauren2409 Mon 06-Apr-20 10:42:26

I'm in exactly the same boat ... I have been off the pill for 2 years in July. And we have been trying ever since. My partner works away every now and again which doesn't help but has been home constantly for the past 7 month. I've had my bloods done and everything is fine. I use the ovia sticks and I ovulate the same time every month and my periods are as regular as clockwork. I have a 26 day cycle.

My partner already has a little girl. So I'm constantly thinking there's something wrong with me. My appointment got cancelled due to the current situation. It's so hard. The amount of people friends family work colleagues who are falling pregnant is so hard to del with although I'm so so happy for them. Just want it to be my turn.

I'm not overweight but I keep thinking I need to be skinny skinny to have a baby and that the extra bit chub is not helping! confused

Skyla01 Mon 06-Apr-20 11:02:26

I saw a quote on here recently from someone's Dr which was something like "most women aren't infertile they are just inpatient". It's not meant to be offensive! Just that falling pregnant can take ages but we aren't always very good at waiting. At the moment I'm in quite a good place where I feel confident that I will fall pregnant one month, although it might not be this month. I'll see how long it lasts for!

@LFH1990 there is still plenty we can do even if we are stuck in our houses! Eat healthy, bit of exercise, get lots of sleep, relax, think positively and most importantly lots of DTD at the right time each month.

It will happen for us!

Skyla01 Mon 06-Apr-20 11:06:04

@Lauren2409 I worried that I was too thin to conceive! I've put on a few kg now. I think we are always looking for the reason we can't conceive when actually there maybe isn't one. If you aren't overweight then your weight is definitely not something to worry about.

CL1234 Mon 06-Apr-20 11:13:44

@Lauren2409 Hey!!! Welcome smile I think its normal to think there is something wrong when its taking so long, but no doubt there probably isnt! its all about timing and luck! it took my friend almost 2 years to conceive her baby which makes me feel better! and she conceived naturally, sometimes the stress we put ourselves under doesnt help either! but yes like @skyla01 says i dont think you need to worry about weight if your not over weight! i also agree with the impatient thing! when i want something i want it now lol! need to practice patience!

OP’s posts: |
LFH1990 Mon 06-Apr-20 21:16:10

@Skyla01 haha yeah I get that, but I’ve been trying that for 15 months and it’s got me nowhere, so I don’t have too much confidence, I want to be actively doing other things on top to help us!
I’m like @CL1234, I have no patience, once I decide to do something I do it, and it’s so annoying knowing there’s nothing I can do at the moment!

Join the discussion

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet

Already have a Mumsnet account? Log in