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My ttc poem (just for fun... sorry for the swearing)

(10 Posts)
Flossylou Mon 02-Mar-20 21:27:51

This has absolutely no purpose other then to share with you my poem about ttc. Sorry about the swears - ttc is making me far more sweary then I should be!! Hope it makes you smile grin

Cycle day 12 off I go with great poise and grace
Pissing in the cup awaiting that super smiley face
As his beam appears my smile matches the fucking sticks
“Oh my favourite Mr get yourself up here I need you to be quick”
Because it’s fucking imperative absolutely bloody vital
That you get me knocked up I can’t wait another cycle!
So the deed is done and for a few more days silently I wait
I give it at least 5 days before I begin to procrastinate
Have my nipples darkened, oh my god I feel totally sick
I’m sure I’ve got more veiny- deep inside I know this is a trick
But as soon as I’m at fucking five days past the O
All my rational brain cells deplete even my belly starts to grow
My whole body is a fuckery playing a repeated bloody prank
My husband can’t live with me and wishes he’d just had a wank
I’ve worked out a due date for a baby that’s just in my head
Oh yes and I’ve got a migraine and my stomach feels like lead
I’ve waited long enough It’s definitely time to take the test
Who cares if I’m only 7dpo I bloody know my body best
Once again I’m happily pissing into my special pissy cup
Dipping in my one step, tick tock tick tock- times up
I can definitely see a line if I close one eye and hold it in the light
no maybe not- I’ll take it outside where it’s really fucking bright
Without a shred of shame I take my one step to the door
I pass over the threshold, trip and drop it on the floor
Now it’s absolutely ruined and there was most certainly a line
not to worry I’ll hold my piss for four more hours it’s not a bloody crime
And so the cycle repeats piss potting multiple times each day
Until af rears her head and blows my dreams away
I mope around the house for at least a week maybe more
Until that special day when I can get my pissy pot out once more

OP’s posts: |
Gems7 Mon 02-Mar-20 21:41:07

❤️ I LOVE this!! 🙌🏻 xx

Foreverblowingbubbles18 Mon 02-Mar-20 21:54:14

This is brilliant! X

SweetpeaOrMarigold Mon 02-Mar-20 21:55:49

Have you been spying on me? 🤣

Flossylou Mon 02-Mar-20 21:57:19

@Gems7 @Foreverblowingbubbles18 thank you

@SweetpeaOrMarigold I literally think we're all the same kind of crazy!

Good luck to you all x

OP’s posts: |
Anny27 Mon 02-Mar-20 22:10:19

This is amazing haha!!!

SunnySideUp2020 Mon 02-Mar-20 22:22:11


GetTheSprinkles Mon 02-Mar-20 22:32:24


YellowFlower22 Tue 03-Mar-20 07:55:26

Amazing! Made me smile and chuckle this morning!

Moreinfopls Tue 03-Mar-20 08:07:54

Amazing! Made me laugh (i am equally desparate)! What a talent ;)

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