TTC after ectopic pregnancy

[Mumlili9]

Hello I'm hoping to chat with other ladies ttc after ectopic pregnancy with tubal removal. I recently had an ectopic pregnancy and lost my left tube. I don't know anyone who has been through this so I've no one to talk to about this. I would love this tread to become a kind of support group where we can support each other on the scary journey of ttc.

[Puddlesplasher]

Sorry to hear about your ectopic. Have you looked at the Ectopic Pregnancy Trust's message boards? I found them a great help.

[Mumlili9]

I did thanks @Puddlesplasher I found them to be a bit in personal. I've been on a TTC thread for a long time but I feel I don't really fit there now. I'm feeling very displaced right now. I'm sure this feeling will pass eventually.

[Sammyclaire22]

Hi Can I join? I had an ectopic in 2018 after 12m ttc and lost my left tube. I then got pregnant again the month after and my dd is 18 months. Been try number 2 for about 5 cycles now. I get what you mean about feeling alone x

[itwasalovelydreamwhileitlasted]

I lost my left tube to an ectopic in January 2018 - tired to conceive for a year and then unfortunately lost my right tube to another ectopic 18 months after the first (IVF Transfer)

There are some supportive Facebook groups - the Ectopic Pregnancy Trust one is a bit rubbish and you don't get much support on there however beware some of the other Facebook ones can be a bit like a competition in grief between members and they often treat members who already have kids already x

[Springandsummer123]

Hi! Can I join? This happened to me 3 weeks ago. Am going to let cycles settle back to normal then start TTC again, we've always got pregnant v quickly but obviously a bit worried now with only one tube. Are you ready to start TTC? I'm impatient to go again but know the recommended time is 2 cycles/3 months. Hope you're recovering well.
X

[Sammyclaire22]

@Springandsummer123 sorry for what you have been through (and everyone else on here ) my surgeon told me we could start whenever I felt recovered and ready, although I assume it depends on what surgery you had etc too. For me i didnt want to wait at all and i was told after we conceived again that it might have been because you are more fertile after a loss. Whether there is truth in that I don't know! Either way it both helped and hindered getting over what happened X

[Springandsummer123]

@Sammyclaire22 thanks - and sorry for your loss too. I probably sound really heartless but I didn't let myself get emotionally attached until the scan anyway - a protection mechanism I suppose.
I also had a feeling something wasn't right - so feel a bit relieved it's all over now if that makes sense. I feel up for trying again but would have no idea when I'm ovulating! I've ordered some clear blue digital ovulation test thing for when we try again. Are you using any ovulating trackers?

[Sammyclaire22]

It's not heartless, everyone has their own way of doing and feeling about things.

I've not done opks this month as the pack I bought seemed to say I had loads of highs through the whole month. But I go off previous cycles to estimate, cm and bbt to check I've ovulated and how long the different phases are. About 11dpo today but bfn this morning. I've got some more of my old opks yesterday so might try them next month to see if it's me or the tests! I use ovia and femometer to keep track of everything

[Springandsummer123]

@Sammyclaire22 sounds like you're super prepared! I wonder if we can only get pregnant every other month if there's only one tube? I read somewhere the egg learns to travel down the remaining tube which I thought was pretty clever! 11DPO is early, still in with a chance, fingers crossed for you xx

[Sammyclaire22]

It took us 12 months to conceive at all the first time and my oh works shifts so it's the only way I can be certain we have dtd at the right time! Plus I'm getting on a bit and don't want a huge age gap ideally.

And yes- the remaining tube can float over to the other ovary so one month our fertility is the same as anyone else, the next it's a little less but not totally out like I first thought.
No symptoms at all bar some spotting yesterday, but I've had that a few times since ttc so not getting my hopes up this month. Hopeful still though!

[MoStew18]

Hi Op ☺️ so sorry to hear about your ectopic pregnancy... had my left tube removed also last August from an ectopic... and now 11 weeks pregnant.. 4 months after having the surgery... so please keep positive a lot of woman have gone on to have their beautiful baby after an Ectopic... sending you lots of baby dust! Take time to heal and recover after such a traumatic and distressing time 💕xx

[Mumlili9]

@Springandsummer123 @MoStew18 @Sammyclaire22 @itwasalovelydreamwhileitlasted

Hello. Thank you for your replies. That's amazing @MoStew18 11 weeks pregnant I'm so happy for you ☺. And @Sammyclaire22 a little dd that's so beautiful.
I guess I had better tell you all a little of my story as you have done.
I am mother to 9 angel babies now. This ectopic was my 9th miscarriage. It happened on 18/02/20 and I'm still recovering from my op. I'm terrified I'm broken now but hearing you ladies has calmed me a bit. I think it's going to be tough going for a couple of weeks.

This might be TMI but can I ask when you ladies felt ready to resume dtd. I'm terrified it's going to feel bad and I'm not sure what to expect. I had tubal removal and repair to the top of my uterus because the surgeon accidentally cut my uterus when he made an incision about my pubic hair line. Also the sight of my scars (I have 4 incisions) is repulsing me, have you felt this and how long did it last?

[Sammyclaire22]

Oh what heartbreak for you... no wonder you feel lost. Just remember you really are not alone and there can still be a happy ending.
As for when to get back to it only you can decide that- I would wait until the medical all clear if you have had additional complications as you don't want to put any future pregnancy at risk.
As for actually dtd it wasn't bad, it was weird but only mentally. Physically it didn't hurt or anything and I was only a few weeks post surgery (but had keyhole) if I hadn't conceived again I think I would have needed a break as I was in a bad way at the time mentally.
As for the scars I had one in my belly button and two lateral ones that 2 years on (and a pregnancy) I can hardly see now. I used bio oil as soon as they had healed over but tbh I just see them as markers of my journey and a sign of how strong I can be when I have to be.
And for a bit of hope, I got my bfp this morning. Took 5 cycles and charting to make sure im making the most of each time but it really is possible. Just hoping it's in the right place and a sticky bean. I'm more positive it is as I had spotting at 10dpo so hoping that was implantation and being later on fc means it was in my uterus.

[Mumlili9]

@Sammyclaire22 omg congratulations hun that's wonderful news. Please keep us updated and Fx everything is as it should be. Thank you for your advice and I truely hope I'm as lucky as you in the future.

[Springandsummer123]

@Sammyclaire22 wow such lovely news! Gives us all hope that it can happen with one tube!!! I read somewhere that we would be entitled to very early scans to check the location of the pregnancy - hopefully they will get you in a round 5/6 weeks when there is something to see! Please let us know how you get on.

Sorry to hear of all your struggles @Mumlili9 - it really is an emotional rollercoaster isn't it, all worth it in the end though hopefully. I had a laparoscopy so scars aren't too bad - but having the stitches out was awful and still got a bit stuck in there which they can't get! Wish they had used dissolvable. I feel ready to dtd now but would rather wait until I know if I'm ovulating - how long did people wait until their periods retuned to normal??? I want to get back on with the opks and tracking!

[Mumlili9]

@Springandsummer123 hello and thanks I hope it will too. How long ago did you have your op and do you feel recovered. My midwife told me that after ectopic it can take up to 8 weeks to get a period and that they might be irregular for a few cycles too.

[Springandsummer123]

@Mumlili9 3 weeks ago today I'd just had the op. Feeling 95% back to normal - a bit tired but I'm on iron tablets & also taking Well Woman conception vitamins too. We were on the couples conception vitamins before and conceived very quickly so hoping they work again!
Yes bit worried about irregular cycles so I've invested in the clear blue digital ovulation test to help identify peak days. Don't rush yourself - your op wasn't that long ago. The pregnancy hormones will still be in your body. I did a preg test last week and the line was still very faint, hoping all the HCG will be gone soon so cycles can resume. Have you got lots of support at home? Hope you got signed off work too - I got a two week sick note x

[Sammyclaire22]

@springsummer123 I know what you mean about the stitches... I ended up cutting mine out myself as they were tearing my skin!
This is my second pregnancy post ectopic and there was a board a few months ago with lots of lovely stories of successful fertility.
With my first I ruptured at 6 weeks exactly so even though I had early scans with his they wouldn't scan me before then. But I went private to a local clinic who agreed to see me at 5w+4 and we saw the sac but too early for a heart beat. I ended up with LOADS of scans with my first for various reasons!
I started trying the very next month, but had 6 weeks off post surgery. Id lost a lot of blood and took me a while to get my energy back. I'd had a normal enough period and I think I used opks and made sure i had negstive tests. Even so, my midwife and husband were doubtful to start with. Physically i had well recovered from the surgery before the pregnancy started demanding on my body. The main thing is to give yourself time and trust that it doesn't mean the end of fertility. And the wait really is worth it- my dd was a hard baby (lots of medical issues) but wanting her so much made it easier to cope with x

[MoStew18]

@Mumlili9 I'm so sorry to hear about your miscarriages I couldn't imagine how difficult that is for you my surgeon told me that trying to conceive after the surgery wasn't going to be the same but still have a really good chance because you still have a functioning tube... if I'm honest I wasn't hopeful at all, my son had just turned 1 when I found out about the ectopic and by the time I had found out I had collapsed and had to be rushed into hospital because I was internally bleeding... was the most traumatic horrific experience in my life.. I doubt anything will ever trump that! Had the key hole surgery.. left incision, belly button, and lower abdomen/ Pubic area.... I started to DTD again roughly around 6 weeks later... by that time I had already had a normal period and the pain wasn't so bad bit achy but nothing awful. We just took things really slow but whenever you are ready and feel ready is what's best for you... I found out I was pregnant beginning or January I can't tell you how much I cried and just stared at my test for ages 😂... the EPAU have been amazing with their care as soon as I found out I called them and booked me in for a scan straight away to confirm the pregnancy was in the right place.... you will absolutely have your rainbow baby! Your body find way to facilitate absolutely ☺️☺️xx

[Mumlili9]

@MoStew18 thank you that's really reassuring a happy story

[BMWL]

Hi everyone, wondering can I join in
TTC was successful on first try, ended in left tube removal for ectopic at 5w3d. This was at the beginning on feb 2020.
I haven't had my period return yet. Very eager to TTC again. Doctor advised I wait at least 3 cycles.
I know I have ovulated this month as I had ewcm and a positive opk, so fingers crossed AF comes soon and then I'll be on the countdown until I can TTC again!
X

[Springandsummer123]

@BMWL welcome! Hope you are recovering well. I've had a few twinges this week (three weeks post op) and hope that's ovulation! Never thought I'd be so excited to get a period - just want to get back to tracking and trying! It's hard to wait the suggested 3 months isn't it x

[Sammyclaire22]

I forgot how hard the next bit is too. My tests today have stayed fairly faint today and now I'm overthinking everything even though it's been less than two days. AF was due tomorrow so really hope she doesn't arrive, as i had a normal period with my ectopic

[Springandsummer123]

@Sammyclaire22 it's so worrying isn't it. I can't wait to be pregnant again but am also not looking forward to all the worrying!!! I will be worried the first 6 weeks until I can get a scan to check it's in the right place & then there is all other normal pregnancy worries - 12w scan, 20w scan, kick counting etc.
Are you taking your tests with FMU? I found I got stronger tests in the afternoon. Easier said than done but try not to worry and. Try not to test if you can! I'm sure it's all fine x

[Sammyclaire22]

Thanks @springandsummer123 yesterday I did morning afternoon and bedtime! This morning's was darker so I'm happier and will only do fmu now.
Going to book my private scan later hopefully for 2 weeks time. I'd rather find out bad news there than at the local epu then will see how I feel about early scans with epu. I had lots last time (almost every other week for different reasons) it really stressed me out by the end as they kept finding new possible problems. I'd like to see the little bean though!

I hope people don't mind me still posting on here- at least until it's confirmed one way or another. We spend so long hoping for a second line and then the fear of going through what we've already been through before sets in and it's hard for anyone who hasn't been through it to understand