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Please can we be honest on here, it’s not cruel

(24 Posts)
Shev1996 Thu 06-Feb-20 06:41:17

If people didn’t keep saying “yes I see a line” to these posts, when there isn’t one, it would stop a lot of false hope. Look back over the last few months/weeks. Plenty of posts asking the same question, people nicely say “yes, I see it!” (Pretty much every clearly negative post). Then days later a negative/period post by OP appears. Pretending you see a line out of some kind of sympathy doesn’t change the end result, you aren’t being nice or kind or sparing someone’s feelings

OP’s posts: |
Nat4392 Thu 06-Feb-20 07:04:07

Agreed. Yes it’s nice to be optimistic but people still need to be realistic and not be handing out false hope.

Ylladyoll Thu 06-Feb-20 07:05:45

I do think people who say they see a line, actually do. That is NOT the problem, @Shev1996 people are testing way to early, if everyone waited until after their AF was due, most tests would be a lot, unfortunately most people like to test. When it's so faint most OP know it's not a confirmed pregnancy no matter if others see it or not, and most people say test again in a few days. Saying your negative and move on doesn't exactly help either with this. There are plenty of cases where people dont test positive until well after their period goes AWOL. Only my opinion

Michette Thu 06-Feb-20 07:18:58

Honestly in most of those post i actually think to myself that it’s obvious there is a line but the person just needs reassurance... as in ttc can drive you a bit crazy at times and you think you start seeing things.
And perhaps on post where there is no line- other people start seeing things that aren’t there too grin

MilkTwoSugarsThanks Thu 06-Feb-20 07:24:54

As Ylladyoll says, the problem is people are testing way too early. There's a reason why, in times gone by, that you wouldn't be considered pregnant until you'd missed two periods.

itwasalovelydreamwhileitlasted Thu 06-Feb-20 07:58:08

It's the ones with very very obvious BFP tests who still ask for an opinion that annoy me more - if you aren't capable of reading a pregnancy test get a digital

Bezalelle Thu 06-Feb-20 10:52:21

I learned pretty early on in TTC that early testing is a mug's game. I know it's tempting, but it only leads to a) stress in those very early days, b) heartache if it's a chemical.

Letsallscreamatthesistene Thu 06-Feb-20 10:57:01

I 100% agree OP. Ive been on so many threads with comments like 'I can see a line, congrats!', when there very clearly isnt one. Just like you said, mostly the OP then comes back saying she's started her period and its a negative.

It annoys me.

Livinginhope20 Thu 06-Feb-20 11:16:53

I do agree with this post to a certain extent as i myself have looked at some posts and thought thats clearly a negative yet some people have said they see a line. I think in most cases some just want somebody else to see that they are pregnant if especially they have been TTC for a long time and if they have took alot of tests your eyes can sometimes see something you want rather than whats true, its nice that we can be in this together but like you say just be honest x

Shev1996 Fri 07-Feb-20 05:39:49

I agree completely @Ylladyoll, people do test to early. But most posts on here with clearly negative (even if too early) test results gain “congrats, I see it” responses

I understand everyone here including myself would love to become pregnant. But I would rather have people if I asked them be honest, false hope gives only a moment of joy before a greater disappointment

OP’s posts: |
Ylladyoll Fri 07-Feb-20 06:38:45

Sometimes I see a faint line on most so I say I see a faint line, I dont say congrats. The fault is with these so called early response tests which are too expensive and prey on womens needs. If these early tests didnt exist there wouldnt be this confusion in very faint test lines. I think you need to protest to these exploitative companies!

Tallilah Fri 07-Feb-20 06:51:02

To be fair OP One thread you couldn’t see a live eventually she had a progression and was pregnant

Ylladyoll Fri 07-Feb-20 07:00:14

I actually saw a line on that one. I think most people are honest when they say they see a line, I always am x dont test early, if you dont test early you wont get a squinter... simples

MyDcAreMarvel Fri 07-Feb-20 07:02:28

I think peoples eye sight are different and you can’t see the faint lines op. Then they turn out to be chemicals. Nobody is being cruel.

sucha Fri 07-Feb-20 07:16:33

Is that what they're doing, being kind?
I kept wondering what people were seeing and thought maybe I was looking at it wrong / don't have ' line eyes'.

decbaby19 Fri 07-Feb-20 07:20:57

@Shev1996 don't read them - it's that simple.

jamjarglow Fri 07-Feb-20 07:24:52

I thought there was something wrong with my phone because I never see the line

ItsAlwaysSunnyInPhiladelphia Fri 07-Feb-20 07:28:31

Just don’t look at them, simples.
There is a difference between ‘saying it as it is’ and coming across as a nasty dickhead...
Maybe you should stop obsessing over what other people are doing with their lives..? May lead to more disappointment 😏

LimpLettice Fri 07-Feb-20 07:43:24

What a load of crap, most people aren't faking seeing a line to be nice, they see them. I know often I do. A sad amount of very early pregnancies don't stick, doesn't mean they weren't there in the first place. Yes, after the pain a lot of women experience TTC it might be better to wait, but half these tests advertise as early responses and actually for some of us, early testing is important to take meds etc as soon as possible. If you don't like them, 99% are clearly marked 'lines eyes' or similar - don't open them!

MilkTwoSugarsThanks Fri 07-Feb-20 08:59:39

A sad amount of very early pregnancies don't stick

Given how many factors have to be exactly right for conception to progress even to implantation never mind beyond that to pregnancy I think what's cruel is early pregnancy testing kits. I think if you need to know that early for medical reasons (I did) you should be under the care of your doctor before ttc.

LimpLettice Fri 07-Feb-20 09:24:39

I need to know to take aspirin, but being under medical advice changes nothing, they don't magically test early every month of ttc for you, they tell you to use a hpt like everyone else. Ime anyway.

MilkTwoSugarsThanks Fri 07-Feb-20 09:39:43

Of course you need to test early, but that doesn't mean early testing kits should be available on demand to everyone. If you have a medical reason to test very early they should be available on prescription.

Fifthtimelucky Fri 07-Feb-20 09:57:11

I hadn't realised, until reading threads on Mumsnet, that it was possible to test for pregnancy so early.

Things have obviously moved on since my day (my children are 22 and 20). I deliberately waited a week until after my period was due until I took a test.

I suspect the new early tests are just another way to get women to spend money on unnecessary things. The number of women who have real medical reasons for needing to know they are pregnant before they have even missed a period must surely be very small.

sheetspread Fri 07-Feb-20 23:33:58

In the kindest way possible, I’ve seen you in several threads now saying tests are “obviously negative” when there are lines that are clear as day and the woman inevitably ends up being pregnant.

If these threads madden you, it would surely be more sensible to ignore them.

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