Fuck you TTC

(468 Posts)
painintheholeSIL Fri 31-Jan-20 07:45:54

Today should be day one of my period. No sign. We've been ttc dc2 since summer 2018. I don't have any tests in the house. I'm trying not to symptom spot, I haven't told anyone in real life that we're trying.
Our son is almost 4. I'm desperate to give him a sibling. I adore him. He's amazing.

But I am aching to have another baby. People keep asking when we're going to and we just laugh off the questions. They hurt. Every one of them hurts. I suppose I'm just looking for people who understand.

Every single thread I look at in relation to this ends up full of BFPs and I'm just not in the space where I can read those and not feel devastated.

So Fuck you to TTC.
Fuck you to months off slightly delayed periods
Fuck you to every fucker that asks me every time they see me if I have any news
Fuck you to the whole fucking lot of it.

Anyone care to add theirs?

OP’s posts: |
Nat4392 Fri 31-Jan-20 07:51:39

Unfortunately most people I know, know we’re TTC.
Fuck you who say “just relax and it will happen”

painintheholeSIL Fri 31-Jan-20 07:56:08

@Nat4392 I can't face the questions so it's easier to let them all think I don't want anymore.

Fuck you to all the people who point out that it'd be lovely for ds to have a sibling. I forgot that one🤦🏻‍♀️

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Alady1 Fri 31-Jan-20 08:03:55

Oh yeah big time.... We are trying for our first for about 2. 5 years now and all you can hear is: it will happen, don't worry, relax.....the worst one: maybe you're just not meant to be a mom.... So yeah fuck you TTC! Fuck you big time!
Now this made me feel slightly better.

painintheholeSIL Fri 31-Jan-20 08:08:44

@Alady1 I'm glad. And I feel your pain.

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PurpleDaisies Fri 31-Jan-20 08:12:46

Fuck you “have you considered adoption”?

No. It’s been ten fucking years but the thought has never crossed my mind. What is this magical “adoption” you speak of?

Fuck you second cousin of Jimmy’s aunt who got pregnant after forty years of trying by...
A) starting the adoption process
B) COMPLETELY relaxing
C) taking Chinese herbs
D) eating a load of prawn cocktail flavoured crisps
E) COMPLETELY eliminating prawn cocktail flavoured crisps from their diet
etc etc etc....

painintheholeSIL Fri 31-Jan-20 08:21:42

@PurpleDaisies I don't know which is worse. Telling people and listening to that shite or not telling people and having them suggest you think about another one for ds' sakehmm

Fuck you to all of them.

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JandL2020 Fri 31-Jan-20 08:57:04

Fuck you waiting in maternity ultrasound waiting area full of pregnant women and trying not to cry 😢

painintheholeSIL Fri 31-Jan-20 12:08:03

@JandL2020 I'm sorry. That is shit.thanks

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sh84 Fri 31-Jan-20 15:38:04

Just fuck you TTC
Fuck you living “fertile window” to the next fertile window
Fuck you 30% chance of conceiving
Fuck you stress
Fuck you TWW
Fuck you “your lucky to have 3 (4) already” comments
Fuck you body giving off all the right “signs”
Fuck you last cycle when AF turned up a week early & thrown everything out of sync so I have no clue when I fucking ovulate
Fuck you OHs work which requires him to work away mostly in fertile window
Fuck you temperature dip that I have no clue what it means & didn’t get to DTD till the day after said dip
FUCK YOU TTC 🖕🏻🖕🏻🖕🏻🖕🏻
Now I should be nicely distressed to get pregnant 😒

painintheholeSIL Fri 31-Jan-20 15:46:14

@sh84 it's shit. All of it.

I forgot to say fuck you to the face that Dh doesn't get home til midnight 2 nights a week

Fuck you to the face that he's exhausted and we miss whatever chance we might have some months because of it

Fuck you to the face that men don't seem to realise how small the window of opportunity is each month

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painintheholeSIL Fri 31-Jan-20 15:46:51

Fuck you to the word face. I meant FACT!🤦🏻‍♀️

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AllTheWhoresOfMalta Fri 31-Jan-20 15:52:33

I eventually had two children, but it took me a long time with DD1 and around me everyone was getting pregnant just apparently from looking at one another. I used to cry in my classroom (teacher) after yet another encounter with one of the ladies in the office or a member of support staff who said “oh you’ve been married ages now, aren’t you going to have children?” So fuck you to old ladies putting their oar in when you didn’t ask. I ended up being honest with my mum, best friend and sister so they stopped saying shit like that and could kind of cushion me from other wankers saying it.

Solidarity OP and everyone going through it. It’s fucking shit. Thinking of you all.

painintheholeSIL Fri 31-Jan-20 15:55:30

@AllTheWhoresOfMalta thank you. I appreciate that. My father is constantly making comments to me. "Oh why wouldn't you want more"
"How could you only have one"
"So and so is in the club again" I fucking hate that expression and I'm starting to hate him. I don't want to tell him because he'll tell everyone and it's nobody's business so I just deal with it myself. It's shit!

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bitheby Fri 31-Jan-20 16:03:34

I'm single, 43 and TTC with a donor who has a busy schedule and lives 2 hours away.

I'm due to ovulate tomorrow but nothing is showing up on OPKs yet so I might have got the timings wrong this time.

Yes. Fuck TTC, fuck not having found the right person, fuck the threads that way it's too late to TTC in your 40s, FML.

bitheby Fri 31-Jan-20 16:04:11


sh84 Fri 31-Jan-20 16:14:00

@painintheholeSIL that made me lol & talking of faces- fuck you to that smug clear blue smiley face that I just want to punch (dont use it anymore).
@bitheby it’s not too bloody old ffs, shame that your donor is so far away though & you have to really schedule it. How did you find a donor or is it someone you know, sorry I’m really nosey but I love hearing about women who choose to solo parent, very empowering.

TigerJoy Fri 31-Jan-20 16:16:03

Oh this thread makes me feel better. ttc for 15 months now and I want it to all fuck off. About to get my period again and I am so fucking sick of all of it!

bitheby Fri 31-Jan-20 16:19:21

I found him in that age old way of a website where people willing to be donors and people looking, can link up.

I have also been to a clinic and been tested and that's my fall back plan if this doesn't work.

I've had a series of set backs and my emotions are all over the place to be honest.

I've seen him twice this week and timing would've been ok but not if I ovulate late.

Still possible but I'm now wondering whether to try to meet him again tomorrow. Poor bloke. Feel like I'm hassling him.

Needallthesleep Fri 31-Jan-20 16:21:45

Yes fuck you TTC. @painintheholeSIL yes to the increasing age gap between first and second, I’m there with you. Have you had any fertility tests done? I’m fed up of pregnancy announcements and ‘that child needs a sibling’ comments. People are so rude

bitheby Fri 31-Jan-20 16:23:24

Fuck you to the face just made me laugh for the first time today so thanks for that.

Onekidnoclue Fri 31-Jan-20 16:23:37

You’re my people!! I’ve tried taking it easy. Fake relaxing. Or taking it seriously and failing anyway. Fuck this shit

painintheholeSIL Fri 31-Jan-20 16:24:32

@bitheby it definitely isn't too old and I hope it works out for you.

@sh84 haha I should read before I hit post😂🙈

@TigerJoy I know what you mean. I know my period is on the way. I just know it is. I refuse to buy anymore ovulation tests or pregnancy tests. I'm sick of feeling crushed when the inevitable negative comes up.

Fuck you to the fact that as women we carry the whole burden of this shit. My husband is amazing but he really doesn't have a clue.

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painintheholeSIL Fri 31-Jan-20 16:27:55

@Needallthesleep I haven't had any tests yet. I had an internal scan in November 2018 and the doctor said I had definitely ovulated.

She put me on clomid for 3 months and said to go back at the end if I wasn't pregnant. It was 3 months this time last year and I haven't gone back. It to one me 2 years 7months to conceive ds with no help and I guess I'm holding on to hope that it'll just happen again the same way.

I'm afraid to go because I'm so scared of wasting my little boys childhood chasing a baby that just isn't coming.

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painintheholeSIL Fri 31-Jan-20 16:28:27

@bitheby I'm glad I made you laugh!!

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