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TTC for the Over 40s

(1001 Posts)
birthdaycake Thu 30-Aug-07 15:43:08

The first thread I've ever started.

Me age 41 and TTC since mmc in June. Anyone else out there.

Netty66 Thu 30-Aug-07 16:06:00

Hi, Im age 41 too and had a mmc at 21 weeks last Nov!

notasheep Thu 30-Aug-07 16:14:34

Just to wish you good luck-you are certainly not too old,I conceived ds at 40(took me 2 years)
I wish you well

mamalex Thu 30-Aug-07 20:18:30

hi. I am 46 (yes), my DS is 3.5, so I was 42 when I conceived. We've been trying for #2, but it's taking ages this time.I know it's my age, but if one is able to conceive easily at 42, then she would at 46, maybe with a little more effort.keep positive!

Rachel1963 Thu 30-Aug-07 20:26:18

Hello, I'm 44 with a 21 mth DS. Two mcs since him, the last a mmc at end of July. Still hoping we'll get there and have another...

birthdaycake Fri 31-Aug-07 09:44:02

Anyone else out there?

herbaceous Fri 31-Aug-07 10:09:40

Hello. Yes. Me.

I'm 41, and have had four miscarriages in the past two years sad, the last three at 11 to 13 weeks, and the last two due to chromosonal problems.

I'm still trying, but fearfully, as it would seem I'm pretty fertile, just incredibly unlucky so far. I hold on to stories I hear about women having lots of m/cs, then a baby or two at the end of it.

Currently in that 'am I, aren't I' phase that happens every month when aunt flo is due, especially as since the last m/c, in March, my cycles have been all over the shop.

More success stories please ladies!

gem2mum Fri 31-Aug-07 12:37:44

Hi Im 44 and have a one year old but just had my first miscarriage at 10 weeks.will keep trying...

birthdaycake Fri 31-Aug-07 18:40:47

We have a lot of mc between us don't we. I started this thread because of lot of the mnetters describe themselves as older mothers at 33-35. But I think it is very different trying TTC over 40 because time is running out, it often takes much, much longer to conceive and the rate of mc is higher. My 'mummy' friends are pretty much all aged 31-35 and to be honest I don't think they have much idea how much pressure and anxiety I have about all of this. Looking at it from my point of view they have so much time and I just don't know if I'm even going to be able to have another baby let alone time to wait until one is at nursery before I think about having one. If I do that it will probably be too late.

lyndyloo Fri 31-Aug-07 20:13:23

Hi ladies

I don't normally come on this board but popped in and found this thread. I am 44 and would love another but feel I would need to start now and tbh DH not keen and am also worried about mc. (Had one in the past)Don't know what to do but feel really broody.

I conceived at 43, quite quickly tbh. I used everything. If you haven't already read 'taking charge of your fertility'. I took temps, used ov sticks and checked cm and cervix. I plotted my cycles on fertility friend and followed the pattern of having BD from day 10 of my cycle until my temp went up. The combination of these methods meant I got pg fairly quickly. Within 3 cycles anyway.

i wish you all well and wish I was joining you.

hedgepig Fri 31-Aug-07 21:08:44

Hi I'm 41 have been ttc since the beginning of the year with no luck yet. Concieved my ds at 36 vey quickly so I am a bit concerned it is'nt happening yet.

Lyndylo what is 'taking charge of your fertility' is it a book or a link on mumsnet?

Juicylucytoo Fri 31-Aug-07 21:40:09

Hi Birthday cake

Just wanted to wish you luck. I had mc at 39 and conceived again within 3 months and had baby (now 3 mths) 1 week after my 40th

Good luck smile

lionlady Sat 01-Sep-07 19:02:46

Birthdaycake, wanted to say thank you ! I was starting to feel like a 'very older' mother seeing ladies in their mid thirties seeing themselves as old shock. I certainly didn't feel old in my 30's but then I didn't have to manage young children so can understand that has an impact! I am TTC No1 since June, and am 40. My husband and married when I was late thirties so do feel as though time is running out, despite being happily married and happy with our life we both felt maybe we were too old but decided to give it a try regardless(my husband is 43 so time is running out I guess !).

So glad to see others also trying at this 'age' and having had friends who have also miscarried in late thirties/early forties (but did go on to have healthy babies) very sad to so many of you who have been through this but also happy to see everyone so committed and positive regardless.

I do find it sad that some people find it strange to be 40 plus and wanting a baby, my own mother was very young when I was born but my grandmother had a baby over 40 in the sixties so its hardly a new thing.

Good luck to everyone !

xyzabc Sat 01-Sep-07 21:12:41

buy a kit from superdrug that tells you best 2 days to try 4 baby. 41 not old my mum had me at 46 and lots of women have babies in 40s. good luck. x

lionlady Sun 02-Sep-07 09:06:52

xyzabc thank you, yes I have one of those kits now after a couple of months using mymonthlycycle website. I guess I have just been put off by comments of others, including nurses, they seem to want to remind me of the risks, MC, DS etc not to mention asking 'why would you want to have one at your age' but I am still determined to try as is DH. (sorry just realised in last post I forgot some of the acronyms blush).

xyzabc Sun 02-Sep-07 10:35:29

go girl go! dont be put off, having a child in your 40s is a wonderful experience. i think it keeps you young. i understand there are a few more risks to consider, (from your doctors point of view) but these are well relax and dont worry! ps.have lots of fun trying for that baby of yours!! love xyz xx

lololola Mon 03-Sep-07 14:51:16

good luck!

giggly Mon 03-Sep-07 15:11:40

Hi can I join to?
I had dd now 2, when I was almost 39 folowing the first time without birth control in 16 years, what a shock. We had put of ttc as dh has MS and is often unwell.However I now would love number two and have only just started ttc, I need to swot up on my ov as cant be arsed shagging all the time although I am sure that helps, just to damm tired, the downside of now being almost 41. I love being a mum now and I am sure that I am much better than I would have been 10 or more years ago. Agree with Birthdaycake about young mothers, I have a friend who is 30 and is so down at not yet pg and who feels that time is running out.
My mum had my brother at 42 so heres hoping.
Hve bought vit. pills to start things off. Does anyone think they make any difference. I used them when bb dd, however have no idea if they made any difference.
Good luck to us all.

lionlady Mon 03-Sep-07 17:19:35

Hi giggly, good for you at trying for no2, I was very confused at first about the advice out there for over 35 conception, and concerned that I would be completely knackered after a month of trying! I did find the the clearblue digital monitor great but expensive (loved the smiley face but it was smiling when dh away so not so great). Now I have got to grips with the cycle i will probably try the cheaper ones instead.

Have not tried vitamin pills, just the folic acid. which ones did you try ?

thanks lololola!

mamalex Tue 04-Sep-07 22:37:33

Hello ladies, I love this thread, finally I am not alone!

birthdaycake Wed 05-Sep-07 09:37:13

I never thought I'd be 40+ and TTC. i always thought i'd have my children under 35 or not at all.

lionlady Wed 05-Sep-07 12:49:53

birthdaycake I always thought I would have children by my early thirties and then didn't meet the right person, then was unwell so thought I had missed out which made me very depressed for a while until I had the courage to look into the options and realise with support from my dh that it was not really too late. I would of course have preferred to have children earlier, it was just not possible but I am afraid of the reaction I might get from some people.

manuka Wed 05-Sep-07 13:19:49

This is a message for Herbacious- my friend has had 4 mc that I know of but I think she had more, all quite late on. she then went on to have a little girl and she's similar age.
Lots of luck to you all xx

mamalex Tue 11-Sep-07 21:39:18


herbaceous Wed 12-Sep-07 11:14:44

Hello Manuka - sorry, I've only just seen your message. Thanks for telling me - it's just what I need! Approaching the middle of this cycle, so will jump DP with greater enthusiasm than ever...

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