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TTC baby no.1- totally have this sussed right?.. wrong!

(63 Posts)
Lellis92 Thu 09-Jan-20 22:53:16

Hi everyone, totally new to this but feeling a bit confused and hoping to find some people in the same boat!
Aged 28, current mama to only fur babies 🐶🐶TTC baby no.1

So we are due to get married in May and have been holding out for a year til an acceptable time to start trying for a baby as we are both desperate, held off til now as we thought on off chance it happened first time I wouldn’t be too far gone by the wedding... have been using OPK for the last 6 months and an app to try and get an idea of my cycle, average 30 days with positive ovulation tests so far always on days 14 or 15 .. totally Sussed my cycle right?? WRONG!
First month of trying currently on day 16 and no positive ovulation tests .... whats going on?!
Worried I’m not ovulating or something’s gone wrong somewhere - anyone had similar experiences or in the same boat starting the journey?
Get involved please 😘

OP’s posts: |
Ele38 Thu 09-Jan-20 23:06:09

Hi it's normal not to ovulate the same time every month, I used to just go by when the apps predicted I was ovulating for 3 months, then I started using opks and the first month I ovulated nearly a week later later than normal, the following month a lot earlier, so I started testing day after period ended with internet cheapies once a day then when they were getting a bit darker I tested twice a day once around 11am then around 6pm I tested twice a day as I wasn't like a lot of ladies who gets positive opks for a few days if I had a positive in morning by the time I tested in the evening it wasn't positive anymore and I didn't want to miss it, when I got my positive dtd that day and next 3 days as once you get a positive you normally ovulate 12-36 hours later, I am now 23 weeks pregnant. Wishing you all the best. X

JadH08 Thu 09-Jan-20 23:09:00

Don't worry too much about the ovulation test, I never did one! I just used the Ovia app which basically tracks your period and tells you when to do the deed! It gives you a 5 day window and what percentage of chance you have of conceiving on that day. I was 29 and got pregnant on the 4th month of trying - we now have a 3 month old smile

Good luck it's an exciting time! Try not to stress too much. Easier said than done, I know.

Lellis92 Fri 10-Jan-20 08:42:09

@Ele38 thanks for replying! Oh really? Yeah I think maybe I should get some cheap ones so I can test more often but I think because I’ve used the digital ones and got a smiley face exactly when my app predicted for the last 5 months I just assumed I had it sussed and every month would be the same ... Iv had some symptoms of ovulation I always get cramps but they’ve lasted longer than usual - who knows! We have been dtd every other day so I’m hoping we’ve not missed it if I have already ovulated - congratulations!!!!
Thankyou, I guess I just need to realise my body does what it wants and I’m not in control this time haha!
@JadH08 I have the natural cycles app which kinda does the same but Iv always had a positive ovulation test to confirm which kinda made me feel like everything was normal and I was in control a bit, but no surprise the first month of trying that’s gone out the window! I guess by just dtd every other day I could still conceive without the ovulation tests but hoping next month i go back to normal a little bit- congratulations!!!
Thanks so much - stress is the enemy isn’t it lol so I’m trying to stay level headed and relaxed - really appreciate your reply! X

OP’s posts: |
Lellis92 Fri 10-Jan-20 08:59:34

Is anyone else TTC their first- please jump on to this conversation- be nice to hear more experiences!

OP’s posts: |
Nmew Mon 20-Jan-20 11:43:26

My and DH are ttc our first, I have always had super regular AF and I swear as soon as we decided to actively try my cycles started getting weird! I feel my maybe I’m subconsciously just stressing about it and making my cycles mess up which is just so frustrating.
I’m currently in the tww, only 9dpo so too early to test yet despite how much I want to lol

Sammyclaire22 Mon 20-Jan-20 12:20:30

I always thought I had really regular cycles- didn't vary much in length bar a day or two and got ov pains right on app target. However since using opks and bbt I've found the last 2 month's I've actually ovulated nearer cd10 rather than cd14. This month I got highs, almost peaks then lows then my actual peak and previous months had highs for a week before and after my peak! But the bbt has made it easier to pinpoint exactly when I've ov so I can start to see more of a pattern. I've also found cm to be more reliable than opks. Varying by a couple of days is normal though x

Lellis92 Mon 20-Jan-20 13:05:17

@Nmew totally agree! That’s what I feel too, although I did eventually get a positive opk 2 days later than expected so that was reassuring - I’m on 9dpo also desperately trying to put myself off testing til atleast Thursday but I’ve had so many symptoms!! Have you had any?

@Sammyclaire22 oh really well at least you kinda have more of an idea of what’s happening now and what your cycle is like so that’s helpful - I tend to do opk just for that reassurance that my body is actually doing what it’s meant to (which always shocks me) because I’m always the one in the statistics that does things differently haha!
I feel better now I think I just had a panic moment when things weren’t as on track as I’d thought
Thanks for replying both!

OP’s posts: |
Nmew Mon 20-Jan-20 16:33:59

@Lellis92 Symptom wise I feel like I’ve had some weird cramping pains and have the sorest nipples lol Those are really only the past 2 days. Other than that nothing much else I can think of. Last cycle trying I thought I had every symptom under the sun so I’m trying not to overthink it this time, easier said than done though.

I’ve been temping this month too and I’m still above my cover line which is supposedly a good sign.. but who knows!

Balbaby Mon 20-Jan-20 17:09:55

Hi ladies, I'll join you if ok? smile TTC first baby and on first proper cycle.

Came off the pill in October and had withdrawal bleed, then nothing until my first proper period which started on 8th Jan - nearly 3 months later! I also use a few of the fertility apps, but its hard for them to accurately predict because i hadn't had a proper cycle since coming off the pill to know how long they are. We knew it was a long shot falling before having a period but you hear all these miracle stories, you cant help but get your hopes up a bit!

Although I was using the cheapy OPKs during that time but I found them inconsistent..some days they would be dark and then get light again and then literally the day after be darker... I just assumed it was my hormones getting back to normal after 10 years plus on the pill. They obviously wasn't doing the trick as now I know I wouldn't have ovulated until late December, by which case I lost a bit of hope and stopped testing.

I have now bought the clearblue digital ovulation test so would be interested to know @Lellis92 and anyone else's experience with them. Started testing this month on CD 7 as soon as my AF stopped, it was a negative circle, then had the flashing smiley on CD8-11. Today is CD 12 and this morning I had my static smiley face.. so heres hoping I am about to ovulate.

Would be interested to know other people's thoughts on strip opks v clearblue digital?

Lellis92 Mon 20-Jan-20 18:27:46

@Nmew I’ve really tried to not symptom spot but they’ve been so obvious I think if their not pregnancy symptoms I’m going to be really concerned of what on earth is going on!
what month of TTC are you on?
But totally agree it’s so so hard to relax during this awful 2 weeks I’m constantly reading all these threads looking for similarities - are you going to wait to see if af arrives or test before?

@Balbaby of course- welcome!
I’m so happy to get as many different perspectives as I can and it’s nice to chat and get it all out as I think my OH just switches off when I talk about all this haha!
Wow that’s crazy- I can’t speak from experience about the pill as I’ve not been on it for over a year but hopefully now that period has shown up it might help you track your cycle so you feel abit more in control of the whole TTC if there is such a thing as having any control!
Ahh I’ve never used the cheap opk simply because I don’t like the whole guessing thing of whether the lines are dark enough to show ovulation etc I’ve always used the CB ovulation sticks which pick up the two most fertile days and you get a solid smiley face - I instantly get so happy when I see that smiley 😊
Did you DTD on the day you had the smiley and the day after?
I definitely favour the clear blue tests tbh just because I feel like TTC is enough of a minefield without having to play a guessing game with opk aswell but that’s just my personal preference really.

OP’s posts: |
Balbaby Mon 20-Jan-20 19:46:59

IThat's exactly how I felt, that I was guessing and your mind does end up playing tricks on you with the colour of the lines! I'm glad that I did get the digital one too, as my peak has shown a lot earlier than I would have thought going by the apps etc so probably would have missed it. DTD cd 8 & 10, which was every other day from when flashing smiley appeared. static smiley started this morning so will cover ourselves by doing next two days too so fingers crossed. Will then mean testing around 6th of feb... although I'll probably cave and do an early one.

When are you due to test? Are you being home sensible and waiting till your af is due or are you planning on doing it slightly earlier? smile

Nmew Mon 20-Jan-20 21:42:26

@Lellis92 it’s my second cycle ttc, I was hoping to wait until af was due to test but I’m not sure I can stand to wait lol I have some cheapie tests I could use in the mean time, Save the good ones for later! I’m totally the same reading all the threads and googling things! It’s an addiction lol

I just used the cheap opks the first month and the Premom app since it lets you take a photo and tells you if the opk is low high or peak. But I still found it kind of confusing so I started to track bbt this month and feel more aware of what’s going on! Though if I don’t conceive after a few more months I float try the cb ones

Hol54321 Mon 20-Jan-20 22:18:06

Hi ladies! Its my first proper month planning/tracking and TTC. Im currently cycle day 28. My app is saying a 34 day cycle this month with AF due on Mon (27th) and that sounds right because i had a positive OPK on CD20.
I haven't relied on OPKs because the first month using them i never got a positive. Because of this i used my left over tests this month which ironically worked but we've regularly done the deed all month, especially around the positive test. A few days before that i also had very evident EWCM.
Yesterday I had lower back cramps (exactly like i get before AF) but that went away and tonight I've had twinges in my lower belly. My breasts feel slightly like before AF but they're sensitive anyway so not reading into that too much. No other symptoms yet. X

Lellis92 Mon 20-Jan-20 22:22:22

@Balbaby yeah I agree so much better to take the guess work out of it and that smiley face is so reassuring haha! I know their a little more expensive but totally worth it I think - thank god you figured that out so you know for future now and didn’t miss your chance this month! Yeah dtd is vital now for sure to give you the best chances- then the waiting game starts which is literally the worst this is only our first month trying but we tried about a year and a half ago for 4 months too but then got engaged so put it off for a little bit!

Af is due for me on Sunday but I think I may test on Thursday which will be 12dpo for me- it’s taken all my willpower just to get me here I don’t think I could wait til AF! Had so many symptoms though so fingers crossed but don’t want to build it up as I know it’s slim chances really ..x

@Nmew the wait is painful isn’t it - Iv got a couple of cheap tests too- I’m too scared to test at the same time though lol!
It really is I’m the worst I think I’ve read every single thread possible and the ins and outs of pregnancy symptoms 😂
Oh I’ve never heard of that before but can understand why it would be a bit confusing it sounds complicated, when us AF due for you? I’m curious as we are both 9dpo as to when you’ll test too!
Good luck both!!!

OP’s posts: |
Nmew Mon 20-Jan-20 22:48:31

Af is due Saturday for me, so we are very close in this cycle! I was so adamant I would wait till Saturday but my patience is fading now, though I’m still scared of taking one because of the disappointment of a bfn. Do you think you will be able to wait to test?

Foreverblowingbubbles18 Mon 20-Jan-20 23:13:07

I was on pill for 18yrs solid, came off and it took me 10 months to begin ovulating, fell pregnant that first month then had mmc at 9 wks. Since then my cycle has got longer but am in my 2nd month TTC and have had positive OPKs both months so fingers crossed it doesnt take too long x

Lellis92 Tue 21-Jan-20 08:44:44

@Nmew ooh we are so close, do you have a feeling that this might be the month for you? I’ve had cramps And back pain since like 3dpo which is stupidly early and I also had brown spotting 5/6/7 dpo so I’m really hopeful but exactly the same as you I’m scared incase it’s a bfn because I know how rare it is to catch first time. I think I’m going to test first thing on Thursday tbh I can’t wait much longer haha!

@Foreverblowingbubbles18 welcome! So sorry about your MC, that must have been hard for you but on the positive side at least you’ve had positive opks now so that’s some reassurance for you to know your trying at the right time and your body is doing what it’s meant to.
Are you in the TWW now? X

OP’s posts: |
okiedokieme Tue 21-Jan-20 08:50:33

You are 28, just have plenty of sex and don't overthink it, you are likely to conceive easily. All this testing is completely unnecessary! Have fungrin

Balbaby Tue 21-Jan-20 09:15:05

So my clearblue is now stuck on the static for the second day, so I wont be able to reuse that this cycle anyway, but thought I would try a cheaper OPK too just to see if still in my surge. The cheapy stick from yesterday was dark, so was in line with the CBD, today its faded again so I definitely feel as though I ovulated yesterday or through the night. Now in the TWW - although behind you ladies so looking forward to hearing your updates as motivation during the wait smile

@Lellis92 You have done so much better than me when I first started testing in November before my long wait for the AF - I think I was testing from 10 days DPO, because I was so inpatient. On the plus I didnt feel as though a bfn was too disheartening because I then told myself I was testing too early and to wait another day may make all the difference smile Now looking back it was too early and a definite waste of money! You may have used it already but on the ClearBlue website they have a pregnancy test date calculator which tells you the earliest day you could start testing (although all the usual caveats of testing early still apply). @Nmew might be worth you having a look on their too, although it will probably encourage early testing smile Good luck to both of you anyway, not long to go!

@Hol54321 fingers crossed your symptoms sound promising! When are you going to test?

@Foreverblowingbubbles18... great username smile sorry to hear about your mmc, fingers crossed for you this month. what cycle day are you?

Balbaby Tue 21-Jan-20 09:18:59

Also question for you ladies... what are your views on drinking alcohol or eating foods not usually recommended during pregnancy during the TWW? I read that until the about week 4/5 of pregnancy that the cells develop enough to start sharing blood, so the TWW should be fine?

I have a couple of parties coming up where it may look suspicious if I dont have one or two wines?

Lellis92 Tue 21-Jan-20 09:30:23

@Hol54321 omg I’m so sorry I didn’t even see your comment for some reason- welcome! We are all in similar situations with being in the early months of TTC so nice to share our experiences.
I’m glad you finally picked up your ovulation and fingers crossed for you now- Iv had cramps to literally since 3dpo though which is really early but I’ve had them almost every day for a week now along with back ache/ constipation/ and brown spotting on 5/6/7 dpo so let’s hope we get our BFP this time... I’m so scared of seeing a negative though because I feel Iv had so many symptoms!

@Balbaby at least you DTD around the time of a strong positive opk so fingers crossed now the wait is so annoying I can’t wait tbh to just see if it’s a positive or AF so I know where I am - the not knowing kills me! I’ve been more patient than I expected I’d be lol.
Thanks I’l have a look at that now 😊

I’m not a big drinker tbh anyway so I only tend to drink on occasions so the no alcohol I end up doing without even trying but food wise I mean Iv not stopped myself from eating anything I’m just trying to keep balanced until I know for sure - yeah it’s awkward when you have events to go to knowing what the best thing to do is - just go with what you think is best! X

OP’s posts: |
Balbaby Tue 21-Jan-20 09:39:25

Yeah it's a difficult one, because if anything did go wrong I feel I'd always blame myself for that glass of wine. I would be more than happy to go without in the tww but it's typical we have some milestone family birthdays coming up that are unavoidable. I feel like everyone is always expecting us to announce that we are pregnant anyway (recently married) so I don't want to give anyone any excuses to pile more pressure on asking questions smile

Think I'll see what my symptoms are like in the next week or so and make a decision from there

Lellis92 Tue 21-Jan-20 09:46:57

@Balbaby it’s always the same you have nothing going on for ages and then lots of things happening when you could do without them! Why do people assume that a baby is next I mean we’re not even married yet and people are asking so are you going to start trying after the wedding- I mean one thing at a time haha! Which is why we are keeping it to ourselves until it happens.

Sorry for tmi but Iv just gone to the toilet and wiped and quite a bit of brown blood- I’m worried now that AF is coming but I’m not due for 5 days yet

OP’s posts: |
Balbaby Tue 21-Jan-20 10:03:46

@Lellis92 I know, it gets worse once your married trust me! And it's awkward when you are actually trying as well! We've kept it to ourselves too, but people can't resist asking!

That's odd, it's brown though so isn't new blood, which you might expect with af... although sometimes the first day of my af can be darker, is yours?

How long has it been since you had your last lot of spotting after ovulation?

When I had my two days of spotting in between my long gap, I still used a tampon because I found it easier to check if there was any new blood coming out.

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