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End of Dec bus (hopefully a lucky bus)!!!!(191 Posts)
Hey all I am here awhile so really hoping for a christmas surprise but not getting my hopes up. Busy couple of weeks ahead so no OPK's for me just DTD every second day from CD 8 - CD 20
TTC no 2
AF due 17th Dec
@Tamalama @Sunflower2019 @Treaclepie19
Tag more if ye can remember I can up to date with ye here.
Af due 13th December after a miscarriage though so dodgy ground? Would love to join
Sorry to hear that @Busybee143 did it only just happen last month? Are you TTC no 1? Join away would love the company.x
I am hoping to join this bus!
I am on cycle day 5 after a 60 day absence of periods, due to coming off the pill in september. Never had I wanted to have a period more 😂.
No idea when AF is due as not sure of cycle length anymore, but should be around xmas if its settled into the usual 28 day cycle.
All I want for xmas is two lines 😂
Can I join? BFP/ AF due Christmas Eve! That's the only thing I want for Christmas 🤣
Getting quite fed up now!
Just going to hop on and reserve a seat on the bus , AF due today/tomorrow, cramping like mad and frer bfn this morning so I will most definitely need my seat!
Am TTC #3, second pregnancy though as have ddtwins aged 10. This will be cycle 2, going to do acupuncture this cycle too
TTC no 1
BFP/AF due on Boxing Day.
Hoping I'll be joining on the bus with you. AF is 5 days late, but my cycles can vary so haven't been getting my hopes up. Feeling really crampy in one side in particular, and just feel something is different. Trying to hold off a bit longer to test to avoid disappointment.
Hope you all get the results you want, fingers crossed!
@Sophieb15 yeah it happened last month and I'm just ovulating now so pretty much into the two week wait but I'm assuming my cycles may be off now?
Hi all, joining the bus as AF arrived today.
AF due around 22nd December
@KerryTTC Welcome Are you TTC no 1? 60 days wow all I want for Xmas is 2 lines too xxx
@Makeafamily19 It is hard I know all we can do is stay positive It took me 2 years to have my first but we weren't actively trying just not preventing so I thought knowing everything about my cycle this time round doing OPK's and DTD on the right days that it wouldn't take as long but here I am on Cycle 11.
@Wackadoodle84 @XjustagirlX welcome
@MissCEngland Oh my god I would have tested already what has been your longest cycle?
@Busybee143 Are you TTC no 1? Were you far along? How many cycles have you been trying?
@ceebee21 Welcome I remember you from the previous thread what cycle are you on?
@Sophieb15 well I think 3...
3rd time lucky 🍀 maybe
Fingers crossed....amazing Christmas present
Yay!!!!!!! Thanks @Sophieb15
32 currently, 33 in jan 😭 Been ttc since July
I’m currently on cd12 no postive opk yet 🥺 Hoping it will be within the next few days 🤞
Predicted af on my app is 14th December.. hopefully it won’t come 😊
Want a BFP from Santa 😂😂
How is everyone else? 💕
Can I jump on?
Currently CD 9
3rd cycle TTC our first 🤞
@Sunflower2019 it doesn’t look too dark yet, I would hang in there a couple more days...what day do you normally OV?
@ceebee21 Yes I was thinking a couple of days to, in August I ovulated on cycle day 15, September it was cycle day 12, October it was cycle day 18 which was very strange for me my app is telling me I’m due to ovulate on Saturday?
I’m trying to stick with the clear blue advanced but I only have five sticks left so I’m using Cheapies in the afternoons.
@Sunflower2019 We are cycle buddies I'm CD 11 today. But I've decided not to do OPK's this month and just DTD every 2nd day and go by a 30 day cycle which has been my longest cycle. Looking a the cheapie I'd say you are a few days out yet. Normal O day is CD 14 so better for you to be closer to that so the eggs are having enough time to develop i've read I O between CD 15-18 every month.
Skitting all everyone wants on here from Santa is a BFP I'm really hoping this is a lucky thread for everyone
Whats everyone's plan DTD wise this month? Mine is every second day from CD 8 (going well so far OH is really on board) but only on CD 11 xxx
Plans are probably to DTD every second or third day, busy month this month thoigh so it's time permitting really
@Sophieb15 I actually thought about possibly not doing opks I’ve been tempting too but I’m not going to next month as it’s far too stressful and my sleep is so dodgy atm! I had watery cm yesterday which is odd..
Hopefully it won’t be too long though.. the tww seems so long away already 😂 determined not to test early too, I may even wait for af!
Keeping fingers crossed for us all x
Hey Ladies I think I will join you, AF/ BFP due on 19th December I think... they can be variable from 30 - 34 days but feeling optimistic it will be a shorter one.
On CD10 at the moment and planning to do SMEP so in the Every other Day stage at the moment. Started with CB Digital OPKs this morning.
I have lost track of what cycle I am on - started trying Feb and fell pg in April/ May cycle but that was a MMC found at the 12 week scan and been trying ever since. V frustrating its not happening as quickly this time but Im concentrating on my health and getting fitter in the mean time.
I tend to temp just to confirm O as I take some supplements you cant take after ovulation but I'm much more relaxed about it these days, its such a faff!
good luck everyone!
@Sunflower2019 I will help you not test!!! xx best thing to do is not have them in the house and then the temptation isn't there.
@TunnocksTcake Sorry to hear about your MMC.
@TunnocksTcake welcome and sorry to hear about your MMC, I also had one in September - rubbish isn’t it.
Fingers crossed for this cycle. Xx
@Sophieb15 AF arrived today Totally gutted, was ready to test this morning, but didn't need to. Been a very emotional day for me, hard to concentrate at work. Been trying for a few months now. My partner works away a lot, so our timing is always off. He has children from a previous relationship and I can't help but worry that I won't be able to have any with him, it's taking longer than I expected. Just a bad day all round!
Hope everyone else manages to get a positive! x
Yay, new bus! (I missed the last couple :-D)
TTC#2 (have a 3yo DD)
Cycle.... I’ve lost count. 18 months + (crappy short LP)
Cd1ish (I have spotting before AF, so often not sure exactly what to count as day 1)
Glad to have a bus to obsess with hopefully this thread will have some lovely Christmas bfp —and those of us that don’t get them will drown our sorrows with Christmas booze—
Hopefully we will help each other resist ridiculously early testing!
Yesss 🙋🏼♀️ I'm also certain I'll be on the December bus now as I'm getting bfn this month.
Af is due 29th dec according to FLO and will be my third cycle trying.
Hopefully December will be our month 🤞🏼🤞🏼🤞🏼
Yeah this is number one, I was very lucky and got pregnant 2nd try after one insemination too so I'm trying to keep that as a positive in my head. I was only 5 and a bit weeks pregnant so I'm just hoping I'll catch again this time and it will be a sticky bean
Thanks @Sophieb15 I don’t have any in the house, yet! I don’t plan on it, just opks!
@TunnocksTcake sorry to hear about mc, I’ve been there, good luck for this cycle 🤞
@MissCEngland it’s so disheartening every month when af comes! Sorry!
Hi everyone! Af showers yesterday for some after coming off the pill so I'm CD2 usually 28 days so due on on Boxing Day so maybe a bfp for Christmas Day if I'm lucky (good this year🤭)
Lots of lucky everyone!
Morning ladies. I’ve decided I’m going to start tracking ovulation. I’ve never done it before though and was wondering if someone could explain it to me please? Do you test every day or only when you know you might be ovulating? X
Wow there's lots of us due af round about the same time!
I'm on CD12 but also unsure when I'm due to ovulate, come off the copper coil on the 20th Nov however period before that was 2 weeks late 😩 few trips to the gp, 2 positives and 3 bfn made us decided to just take the coil out and try for #3. Anyway, if my cycle has gone back to normal my next period will be due around the 18th Dec 🤞 I've had a bit cramp this morning so I'm hoping thats a sign of ovulation starting? Either that or my periods are so messed up but I'm praying I don't get another one any time soon 😩
@MissCEngland if it is your first time using OPK, I would start around CD9/10, then it is best to test every day until you have a positive. Some like to test twice a day to make sure you catch the LH surge!
@MissCEngland Try not be disheartened its just takes some people a bit longer xx You will still be on the Dec bus anyway when is AF/BFP due now?
@MrsCl19 Hopefully we all get a BFP off santa this year
@Sunflower2019 If you got your static today I would def do tonight tomorrow and then take a days break and go once more then. Your CD 13 today so O day would be put down as CD 14 which is tomorrow and then AF due on the 14th Dec. xx
@MissCEngland I would advise you to get ClearBlue 4 day(purple one order from Amazon it's cheaper) Start testing on CD10 and test only using FMU once a day. You will get a blank circle first then a flashing smiley(fertile days) then the morning you get a static smiley(peak fertility) you should Ovulate the day after so really the most important DTD days are the day of the static smiley and the day after. Up to that DTD every 2nd day from CD 8. You only really need to use them for a month or 2 and then you will be able to pinpoint around the time you will O every month. But fingers crossed you get pregnant first time using it. xx
Thanks for working that all out @Sophieb15 even earlier af then.. scary 🤦🏽♀️ Xx
@Sunflower2019 I'm a pro at working it out at this stage. If you don't get AF by the 14th then you have a very good chance of getting a BFP on the 15th xxx
Anyone else need a hand working it out let me know. I have mine down to a tee. xx
Thank you all for your kind words.
@sunflower2019 Exciting! Yes I would say dtd Tonight and Tomorrow, only have to worry about dtd too much if you know there is a problem I think.
Im still on blank smiley so have a long way to go but dtd EOD since period ended.
I hate the first 2 weeks, they always drag soo much!
@Sophieb15 you are a pro!!!
Thanks @TunnocksTcake I’m getting sick of it now.. roll on tww!
Af got me yesterday so I'll be moving on to cycle 10.
Age 38 (turn 39 end of December!)
Af due: Christmas Day!! 🤦♀️
I went to see my gp yesterday as my period last month was horrific, I had contractions for 4 hours as the lining was shedding so I'm on mega strong painkillers this month.
The doctor advised not to get so hung up on opk tests- they're not 100% reliable, makes sex stressful rather than fun and can add additional stress in general, which hinders successful conception.
She advised regular sex every 3 days and a bit more during suspected ovulation (I always feel when it's on its way) so this month I'm going to do this method.
She said that DH eating 3 Brazil nuts a day can also help sperm! Who knew?! 😂 x
Hi all, AF came yesterday so I'm hopping on the December bus!
Age: 30 (31 in a couple of weeks time)
AF/BFP due 29th Dec
Hoping to not POAS till 30th but wasted 3 in last TWW so let's see how that goes 😂 baby dust to us all 🤞🏼🤞🏼🤞🏼
@NCON my next af is due on the same day for December! We can be testing buddies as I've promised myself the same too! Haha
Af is still 3 days away this cycle but I tested today and bfn so think I'm out this month.
I'm 29, 30 in August, December will be out 3rd cycle trying for our 1st 🙂
I've found Mumsnet so helping in just having people to talk to going through the same thing!
@HalfPenny28 excellent, we will give eachother strength to step away from the preg tests 😂 although you aren't out yet so hopefully u get your BFP this cycle 🤞🏼
I've got a good feeling about this cycle 😊 this will be my second cycle. Gonna track my ovulation for first time with OPK and BBT! See if Ovia's predictions are right
@Tamalama I'm so sorry you had to join this bus x I'm doing similar to you this month I've ditched the OPKs and just DTD every second day from CD8-CD20 x let's hope it is less stressful and this is our month x
AF arrived yesterday so also hopping on the bus!
AF due 30th Dec
Going to try OPKs for the first time this month to check I am ovulating when I think I am! Also getting DH to hide the FRERs so I can't test early
@Sophieb15 Thank you for your support! AF due now round about 29th December. Downloaded an app to help my track my cycles, and it says I should be ovulating on the 14th. Partner works away and leaves on 13th though! Typical. Trying to just be in the moment though and not be too stressed.
@ceebee21 Thanks for explaining that! Will give it a go, have ordered some but might need to use it next month as partner is away on the day of ovulation (if all goes to plan)
Hello everyone! Joining in to the Christmas Bus 🙂 This TTC #1, cycle 2 for me. AF due on 26th of Dec so really hoping for a perfect Christmas gift 🤞🏼
@MissCEngland don’t forget the days before OV as well, so not all out xx
Hey everyone, so 1dpo, feeling like I’ve definitely covered all bases so we will see, af due 14th December! Hoping for an early Christmas present but we will see!
How is everyone? Xxx
Welcome newbies! Xx
CD 14 for me TTC #3, no idea when af is due because they've been irregular for the last 3 month, had my copper coil taken out on the 20th November, last period was the 18th November and I'm currently drinking my body weight in water as I have a raging UTI 😩 Im using ovulation test strips for the first time but no sign of ovulation yet. We are just dtd often 😂 good luck everyone 🤗
Nice to meet you all!
TTC #1, came off the pill last month, first month consciously trying. CD1 today, AF due 30 Dec... trying to bring in the new year with a new human!
@Sophieb15 yes, I'm just going to dtd every other day or maybe every 3rd day during the beginning of fertile period and see what happens. Fingers crossed this is a lucky month for us both x
@Sunflower2019 wave thought I'd jump on this one!
Af due 16th December!
I am either 1dpo or will be tomorrow! Dtd Saturday Sunday and we will today too.
@Sophieb15 how are you? What dpo are you?
@Sunflower2019 Had a great weekend pretty sure I've ovulated yesterday at 5pm due to pains but to cover all bases we will still do every 2nd day up to CD 20 because I was only CD 14 yesterday and that's quite early for me. Only 12 days to go for you lets hope you get your early xmas present xx
@Tamalama I have found it way less stressful this month the waiting for the positive OPK was stressful itself and then making sure you DTD. xx
@Ellsbells112 Hi how are you? I'm great way more relaxed approach being month 11. I am CD 15 today I'm not doing OPK's and just DTD every second day from CD8 - CD 20. Just working off a 30 day Cycle then as that seems to be my longest. x
@Sophieb15 sounds like a sound plan actually. I was meant to follow SMEP this month but just didn't get to it. I got my solid smiley yesterday, dtd Saturday yesterday and will this evening and hope for the best.
I'm cd16 today! Very close and pretty sure I ovulated yesterday too. Xx
@Ellsbells112 ya I'm pretty sure I ovulated yesterday too at the latest this morning due to pains we did cd 8,10,12 and 14 because OH is on nights this week we might only manage CD 16 which is tomorrow and then CD 20 but I'm not stressing about it nothing more we can do.
You are right on the right days so you are covered too. 🤞🏼🤞🏼🤞🏼
@Sophieb15 my bad I'm cd15 today 😅 but yes same to you! 🤞 For us! I caved and just ordered the "taking charge of your fertility" book. Hoping to learn great things from it, I do find the whole ordeal interesting. Frustrating, but interesting
Af due tomorrow so just willing her get a move on now!
How's everyone feeling about this cycle?
I'm CD 6 today.
I am trying to temp, but must admit it is hard trying to do it at the same time every day... not going to bother with the IC OPK... I have a few CB digitals left, so may use that, although pretty sure I OV on CD15 anyway
Trying to not stress myself out this month xx
@ceebee21 I think I'm going to ditch the opk's this month too and try the SMEP method! I'm 100% not testing early this time - day before af and that's it.
Jumping on, can’t remember if I already have on a previous thread haha!
- Cycle 1 after mini pill
- Cycle day 15
- I either ovulated yesterday or today, not sure.
- DTD every 2-3 days since fertile window so 🤞🏻.
- AF due 16th December!
I was on mini pill and had what I can only assume was AF last month so stopped taking the pill first day it started. Whether I can trust my cycle or not is unknown so this is more of a wing it and hope for the best cycle! If AF comes then at least I’ll know where I’m at or at least have a better idea for the next cycle. Not going down the OPK route as trying to keep it as laid back as possible.
When would you advise I test (I have some FRER) and yes you can assume I’m crazy so won’t wanna wait til late AF on 17th haha!
I’m thinking 11th or maybe 12th as I have my Christmas work party on 11th? And then wait to see if AF shows and test again then?
@blondeandbroody welcome and Be strong and wait for AF due date xx A BFN and then AF is worse than just getting AF when it's due.
@Sophieb15 ahh okay, thanks for the heads up on that! I’ll try and wait, try being the operative word haha x I am not much of a drinker anyway! X
Hi ladies, I'll jump on board too please!! We're trying for #2 & on c2 9f trying. I'm still bfing my almost 14 month old so got cb opks this month to make sure I'm ovulating. According to those I ovulated on Saturday which was cd11. I use an app which showed ovulation as Wed so we weren't dtd as often as we could have been. We didn't get dtd on Saturday as ds decided that he only needed like 3 hours sleep so we didn't get any alone time 🤔!!! I'm wrecked now as he's still not sleeping well so although I'm desperate for #2 I'm actually not sure if I'm fit for another one!! Still fingers crossed 🤞. I'm going to try to not test too early but I have a Christmas party on the 14th so would like to have a few glasses of wine at it so might test before then!!
I got my peak on can digi this morning! A couple of days earlier than expected but I'm not complaining! Had even dtd this morning before I checked the test so all very good timing! Feeling fairly positive this month but really trying not to focus on that Christmas bfp or I will be even more heartbroken. Deciding to think about the cheese and booze I can have at Christmas if I'm not pg instead
Welcome to all the newbies.
How is everyone else doing?
I'm CD 16 today and got in our last DTD I had to leave work for an hour to get it in. He's on nights now for the rest of the week so hoping we did enough. I have had O pain in my rh side since Sunday. It's starting to ease now so I'm thinking I ovulated last night.
I'm looking at the same as you @TunnocksTcake if I don't get my BFP I can drink over Xmas and then get DTD again after Xmas.
I'm not even going to count DPO this month I've bearly even looked at my app. Going by AF due date of the 16th Dec. Hoping for no pains no sore boobs as I normally have all of them and get AF. xx
Hi @Sophieb15 🙂 af has just arrived for me so just getting this out the way then trying the SMEP method this month! Next af due 30th December so hoping for a new year surprise 🥰
Good luck everyone! 💕
Hi All, at the end of AF now, so hopefully not too long to wait before OV - normally CD 15 for me.
Like you said @Sophieb15 @TunnocksTcake i'm just focusing on the fun I can have at Christmas if I don't get a BFP - although it is hard to do!
@ceebee21 I know I'm saying that but I know I'll still find it hard I would 100% take morning sickness over any drink at this stage xx
Hey everyone, I'm hopping on this bus - hoping for some TWW company!
I'm 33 years old & TTC baby #1 (I'm on my 3rd cycle of trying, but been charting for almost two years and today is 10 dpo)
I'm a bit concerned/hopeful (it switches back and forth) because this cycle has been different from my previous cycles, I have been having dull to quite bad cramps low in my abdomen, on and off, from around 4 dpo until last night - and on 5 dpo and 9 dpo my bbt dipped as well, which it NEVER does before the day of AF normally! (I'm mostly worried about the cramps, because I know that temperature fluctuations don't really mean anything...)
Aaaanyway, how is everyone doing today? xx
Btw I've just started a January bus thread for those who af may have caught xxx
I'm 100% new to all of this and this is my first ever post! I'm not quite there with all the abbreviations yet, but Google is my friend here
AF due 22nd Dec (but my cycles aren't the most regular)
I've ordered some OPKs (I think that's right?) and they're due to arrive today hopefully!
Any advice and tips will be greatly appreciated
Lots of luck to all!
@idath Welcome I had cramps from 2DPO until AF arrived last month and this month I am not using OPK but by pains I'm about 2/3 DPO today and having cramps and backache already. This is my 11 cycle TTC no 2. Every month I seem to have different symptoms so try not look into them too much.
@SoshoSnow Welcome which OPK's did you order? How long have your cycles been? Best advice is not to stress but its the hardest advice to follow. x
Hows everyone else doing everyone is very quiet this month?
@idath hi there. Are you hoping the 9dpo dip might be implantation? I’ve heard that can show on your charts, but I think when it does it is quite a big dip? Or maybe that’s bonkers - surely if some people don’t see it at all it must be possible to have a small dip.... when are you due to test?
Hi @Sophieb15. Well done for being strong and not caving to obsessive POAS! I’m on cd9, temperature charting and intend to crack out the OPKs on Saturday (almost never ovulate by day 14, so no point starting them now).
How’s everyone else doing? I was determined to have a healthy diet this cycle..... but this week has been horrifically busy with work so I’ve been picking up fast food on the way home instead . Not quite sticking to the healthy plan!
@crazychemist I was thinking about that yeah, especially with the increased cramping in the whole pelvic area around that time... I already tested with an internet cheapie on the evening of 10 dpo and actually got a very faint positive. Then got another faint positive yesterday. I've been resisting temptation to test today and waiting until tomorrow morning which will be 13 dpo and the day before expected AF, and I'm also using a couple of different types of tests this time including FRER (I've been reading lots of forum posts about faulty tests showing false positives (and negatives) so I want to cover my bases!)
Hi can I join ? Ttc #6
AF due on 25 December
@idath how exciting! Fingers crossed for you!
Hi all, hope we are OK, I'm CD10 today... May use my last CB digital opk, but not order any more. I cbb to waste more money on tests haha.
Started temping this month so see how that goes.
@ceebee21 hey ❤️ I am cycle day 23447895325 today, lol just kidding CD19 but it feels like 23447895325 😭
Are the strip ones not effective, can get them really cheap? I've never tried any kind so don't know what's best x
I think I need to do 1 of 2 things next cycle, either try and relax and just see what happens trying to DTD regularly enough that it won't matter when I ovulate (OHs preferred method). Or get some OPKs so I at least understand what is happening and when!
My current method of trying to be relaxed about it but checking my apps regularly and obsessing and worrying if I did ovulate when I think I did isn't quite working for my stress levels haha!
@Sophieb15 Hi, I got the Clear Blue Advanced Digital ones. They turned up the other day and the digital part was broken before first use! So I got a replacement yesterday and tested this morning (CD13) as my app says im entering my fertile window around now, but apparently not yet according to the test!
My cycles range from 21 days to 35 days sometimes. I didn’t want to get OPKs for my first cycle of trying, but I honestly have no idea when I will be ovulating and my OH is working away until the new year so weekends are the only chance we have to see each other - so I thought I could use them to just find out what’s what 😂
Is it worth me continuing to test with the OPKs this weekend? X
@SoshoSnow Yes make sure you use FMU and only test once a day and it will give you a blank circle first then a flashing smiley(fertile days) then a static smiley the static smiley day and day after are the most important DTD days in the month. You can count the day after you static as Ovulation day and then count 14 DPO you should get AF if it doesn't arrive you have a great chance of gettng a BFP on 15 DPO. xx
Hey girls, so I went out drinking last night thinking I was out and got my frer delivered and I’ve got a faint line! Feeling so hungover 🤦🏽♀️ Xxx
@Sunflower2019 aaaah! Congrats! Thats amazing news. Will keep my fingers and toes crossed for you xxxxx
Line is lighter today so not sure if that’s a good thing! Worried but holding onto hope xxx
@Sunflower2019 oh no what do you mean by lighter?! Did you use fmu? Fingers crossed for you!!!! ❤️🤗 Keep me updated xxx
It came up soooooo faint I could barely see it! The urine on that test is extremely yellow though.. I’m a little worried but hoping it’s just a dodgy test of my levels aren’t high enough yet! it’s so hard to pick up on camera but top one is nice and white and can see line and bottom the urine had made it really yellow and can hardly see line xx
@Sunflower2019 yes I see what you mean! The bottom one does look more yellow that's probably why the test looks fainter isn't it? Try to drink a nice amount of water today and then do another in the morning? I know that's a bit of a wait though, maybe try late afternoon and hold your wee for 4 hours xx
@Ellsbells112, I’ve looked again and I’d class the second one as negative.. can’t really see anything and I’m just so confused and annoyed as it’s not looking good is it xx
@Sunflower2019 Ahhh I don't know hunie!! I don't want to say the wrong thing just in case!! I say do another frer around 4pm after holding your wee for 4 hours it might be better. This really makes me scared about testing early! Are you still experiencing symptoms? Xx
@Ellsbells112 cramps and sore boobs.. tired but prob from weekend! I know, keep worrying myself thinking the drinking etc may or affected it but who knows 🤷♀️ I just hope if this is it then next month will be my month xxx
Hi ladies, I'll jump on if you don't mind. I was originally due af on the 11th but it decided to turn up a week early on the 4th so now expecting af around the 1st Jan, but could be earlier based on the last cycle being only 21 days. We're TTC #2 and number 1 has recently been poorly and we made the decision to stop breastfeeding last week so I think that's what has sent the hormones haywire and prompted an early af.
CB digital advanced now wants me to start testing tomorrow which I know is way too early so I'm going to ignore it and start on Friday I think. I don't have enough sticks to start testing 10 days before I think ov will happen!
@Sunflower2019 unfortunately you have to wait and see, I'm really sorry you're having to go through this again though the not knowing. I hope everything is okay and I'm sure it will be think positive xxx
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