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TTC after pregnancy loss - Thread 33- huddle up and bring on the BFP's

(852 Posts)
Mumlili8 Sun 17-Nov-19 00:01:26

Welcome to the 🐧 huddle. This a safe place to get and give support for everyone who has experienced the loss(es) of a pregnancy and baby. Pregnancy and child loss is the most awful thing anyone can experience and it can also be the most lonely time too. I hope you find this thread to be of some comfort.

BunnytheBlueWhale Fri 17-Jan-20 16:22:07

@JuniperAndRose Thanks for your reply. It is strange and I know feelings can change. My DH is very guilty of making comments like that based on just having a bad day so I’m hoping it’s that and more so I’m hoping we can have a baby naturally anyway. We had never discussed IVF but he was one who always thought having a baby is easy and nothing would go wrong. The other day was the first time I’d brought up IVF. We discussed adoption and went to a meeting about it a few months ago and concluded we are not ready for it but we knew we’d want to try having a baby dust now just because it could get harder as we get older.

Good luck with TTC. I’m not tracking either since last month and I don’t feel like going back to it. I know roughly that I’m going into FW and I might be able to tell when I’m close to ov but I don’t feel like tracking atm. You might have seen from my earlier post (maybe on the other thread) that DH and I were getting a bit stressed about it this morning... but I feel fine now!

JuniperAndRose Fri 17-Jan-20 14:00:16

I'm just catching up on this thread, so apologies to anyone that I have missed. Thank you so much for all of your kind messages and tags after our second loss at the end of last year, I really appreciated each and every one of them.

DH and I are tentatively back to TTC. At the moment we have agreed that we won't track cycles etc but will just see how we go. Obviously that is much easier said than done and I can already feel myself getting stressed about this.

@BunnytheBlueWhale I've just seen your comments about your conversation about IVF with your DH. Oddly enough we had a similar conversation a while back. We had always talked about IVF as an option (I have endometriosis which was diagnosed before I met DH) but when I mentioned it again after we lost DD1 he said that he did not think that he would be up for IVF. I was really upset and did tell him this. We had also always talked about adoption as an option, but DH mentioned it to me recently after our loss of DD2, and even though I had always thought I would be open to it, when I did some further research I just felt overwhelmingly sad. I don't know why, I don't think that there is any logical reason for it, I just felt like it wouldn't be something I could do at the moment. I think it's just so hard to know how you would feel about something as personal as this, when you go from considering an idea in the abstract to actually taking steps in your real life.

@VenusStarr I can completely understand where you are coming from. I hope to see you again on the healthy thread, and in the meantime am sending you good thoughts.

@Avocuddles gentle congratulations. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you.

BunnytheBlueWhale Fri 17-Jan-20 09:37:28

I’m sorry you are feeling that way @VenusStarr but it’s important to do what feels right for you. I hope perhaps you will stay with us on the other thread if we keep that to diet and fitness and no TTC talk but understand if that’s too much also xx

VenusStarr Fri 17-Jan-20 09:31:33

I think I need to step away from here for a while. I am genuinely so happy for all those with a longed for bfp, I hope these are your rainbows and I wish each and every one of you on this thread happiness and that you also get your rainbows.

You ladies are so supportive and I can't thank you enough but I need to protect myself for the time being. Best wishes xx ❤️🌈

Avocuddles Fri 17-Jan-20 09:21:44

@VenusStarr I understand what you say about feeling lost not knowing why the previous pregnancies failed - I'm working on the assumption that this pregnancy will fail really as I have no positive experience to draw on.

@LASandOtto mine both started at 7 weeks too. First time round I really struggled with the injections but second time round it was ok. Do you have to take them for the duration or just for the first twelve weeks?

VenusStarr Fri 17-Jan-20 08:05:53

Sadly I don't think that will be for me @Avocuddles I just don't have that optimism anymore. Everything is triggering for me, even having hope. I'm not confident that ivf is right for us without understanding why the other pregnancies failed and no one is willing to help us with that so I need to think about what next but I don't have the headspace or energy to begin.

Hope this is your rainbow 🌈 x

LASandOtto Fri 17-Jan-20 08:03:10

@Avocuddles yes give them a call! See what they say and what their suggestions would be?

I don't find these injections very easy. I am not a needle phobic (thankfully as doing blood tests every 48 hours currently) but when you have to do it yourself, it just becomes really strange. I've got bruises all around my stomach by now.

The first weeks are really awful. I have a terrible fear as I'm on a work trip the week after next where I'll hopefully be 7 weeks. That's the week I always have started spotting with my last two pregnancies and it was always whilst I was on a trip - once work, once on holiday. I'm thinking of confiding in a close colleague if I make it to week 7 fine and as she knows about my past MCs I know she will be a good support, she has two kids of her own and never had to deal with a MC but she had endo and other issues and had been told she'd never have kids.

I really hope our supportive thread here with all these wonderful women will see more sticky BFPs in the coming weeks and months and that we continue our journey together. I cannot imagine doing it without any of you!

Avocuddles Fri 17-Jan-20 07:51:07

@VenusStarr I hope we get the same from you too. Each of my BFPs has been when I've been preparing for fertility treatment and taken the pressure off myself (no temping, just opks in this case or nothing at all previously) - hopefully the same might happen for you now that you have a clear plan in place.....

Avocuddles Fri 17-Jan-20 07:48:43

@LASandOtto I'm going to give it a few more days then will start the injections on Monday if there's clear line progression. I think have a full box left from last time but will give the hospital a call as know they'll want me in for (clotting related) blood tests ASAP - probably next Friday as that's when the specialist clinic runs. The fertility clinic said they would scan me at 6 weeks if I got a BFP so I'll give them a call next week too and broach the subject of progesterone / other support. I'm working away on Tuesday night and was dreading trying to stick to dry January during a big team night out but I guess it'll be easy now!

I'm on the exact same page re scan anxiety as I've never had a positive scan experience - the one time I did see a heartbeat the pregnancy was measuring a week behind and clearly following the same path as the previous one. There's also a particular room at the EPU where I've received the bad news on both occasions. The thought of returning there fills me with dread but I'm trying to be stoical and think whatever will be will be. Hopefully we'll both be in a position to join the 'graduates' thread soon, but for now I'm glad you're on the scary early days journey with me...

VenusStarr Fri 17-Jan-20 07:43:00

Great news @Avocuddles think we'll be getting the same news from @SunStruck soon too.

LASandOtto Fri 17-Jan-20 07:37:42

@avocuddles CONGRATULATIONS  to you and your DH girl, what lovely news to read this morning! Whoooop!

Will you start blood thinning injections now? I recall you said you had been prescribed them before right?

Ohhhh really happy for you! This is great news and a good positive 9 DPO!

@SunStruck I've got my fingers crossed for you girl. It sounds promising? Gaaaaah keep us posted!

How's everyone else doing?

I'm still closely monitored and spent half a fortune on all these private blood tests and prescriptions so far but if this means third time lucky I'd give my last penny.

Had an Implantation Scan at 5+3 earlier this week and we couldn't see a HB yet, but it showed at least it's in the right place. Looking at scans gives me huge anxiety because I associate it with my past two MCs which ultimately resulted in bad news even if one or two scans had shown HBs and no reasons for spotting and bleeding which I've had in both my previous MCs.

I'm glad work is keeping me extremely busy at the moment so I've barely got time to think about things too much but of course it's in my mind and I am just hoping all goes well.

How are all the other ladies? X

SunStruck Fri 17-Jan-20 07:22:50

@avocuddles haha do you know what, I think I'm just really scared to test and to get disappointed! It's a bit of a Schroedinger's cat theory, I'm pregnant until proven otherwise if you know what I mean? Do I sound mental?! I would have tested now if I wasn't on progesterone, but since I have read (thanks google 🙄) that a lot of ladies get a few days period delay when they're on it, I don't want to get my hopes up. I just can't believe I'd be that lucky I guess! I'm already making DH change the cat litter every day (he's NOT happy 😆 ), and I'm just having eggs for breakfast now and made sure it was cooked through 🙄

About your symptoms, I had the same first time I got pregnant, really bad cramps like AF was coming for two days... just like I've had now. And the cramps have stopped today and I feel nothing (just like last time). My boobs are a bit bigger too but that could be period coming soon too? 🤷🏻‍♀️ that the cramping has stopped point more toward pregnancy than period though (I usually get really bad around this time and it continues for the first few days of period).

Let's see. I'll hold off a few more days and hopefully AF stays away 🤞

Sunflower1608 Fri 17-Jan-20 07:08:04

@mrsmb03 it's fab that you are so prepared and have done all the right things. But 1:4 pregnancies do end in miscarriage, these things can just happen, and they aren't down to the mother doing anything wrong. So if it does turn out to be the case, it's not your fault, there isn't anything you could have done differently x

Avocuddles Fri 17-Jan-20 06:52:13

@SunStruck you have incredible willpower!!!!
Each time I've had a BFP I've had symptoms as if a massive period is coming - crampy, emotional, hormones all over the place. First time round I was probably around 16DPO when I tested, 2nd and 3rd time have both been early. I didn't really expect to see anything though because as I say the symptoms are pretty similar to what you'd expect at different points in your cycle regardless and I've had plenty of 'false alarms' over the past 20 months. Used an internet cheapie this morning and there's a definite faint line so guess this really might be pregnancy number 3... I've started aspirin as this is part of my usual protocol then if I get a strong BFP by Monday I'll call the consultant re my blood and also ask the fertility clinic about progesterone.
Top money saving tip ladies - the easy@home tests from Amazon genuinely are as sensitive as an FRER and about 95% cheaper. They do a massive mixed box with 50 opks and 20 pregnancy tests which is definitely below £10.

@SunStruck are you going to test today? I'm very impressed with your willpower!

Mumlili8 Fri 17-Jan-20 02:55:56

@Avocuddles congratulations hun that's a good line for 9dpo. I usually get a line that good at around 12 dpo. Fx for a sticky bean x

SunStruck Fri 17-Jan-20 00:47:40

@avocuddles sorry forgot to ask, what made you test now? Just that you had cramps, did it feel like AF was coming or what did it feel like? I've been crampy for 2 days like AF is coming but nothing today (and no AF) 🤔

SunStruck Fri 17-Jan-20 00:34:40

@Avocuddles oh my god, best news to wake up to ever! I definitely see a line - Good line for only 9 DPO which is positive because late implantation means higher risk for miscarriage, lowest risk if it implants 8-9 DPO! My last miscarriage I implanted 12 DPO I think because I had the same line as yours at 12 DPO and BFN before that. Make sure you get some progesterone pessaries if you can, and check if they recommend baby aspirin too? I'm on this protocol.

I am now officially 1 day late (period), I'm scared to test though because I'm using the progesterone pessaries so don't know if my period might be delayed because of this. My Dr said it's unlikely to be delayed due to the gel as it's only local (not pill form), but it COULD delay by 1-2 days. So I'll test at 14 DPO (Monday) is AF doesn't show. I was so crampy yday though so definitely feel AF was coming 🤷🏻‍♀️

mrsmb03 Thu 16-Jan-20 22:55:37

Thank you so much @Sunflower 1608. I really appreciate it I have been super careful and protective of this baby. I have been preparing to have a baby for years. Been taking folic acid even before we were going to try. So I'm quite shocked today. I pray baby will grow by next week. xxx

Sunflower1608 Thu 16-Jan-20 22:44:31

@mrsmb03 I'm so sorry to hear you're going through this. It's horrendous when you are in this state of limbo not knowing either way. This group has some lovely ladies and you are welcome to express your feelings with us as we have all experienced similar. Obviously you will have more answers at the next scan, but from experience this week will be awful. All fingers crossed that everything turns out ok. But if not, we are here for you.

mrsmb03 Thu 16-Jan-20 21:41:53

I am new here. I came across this site when I was googling last night light brown discharge at 11 weeks. It was the first discharged that wasn't white discharge (Leukorrea) so I was bit concerned, the say before my 12 week scan. I ended up not sleeping well Today at my scan the midwife said our baby is too young 6 weeks, she asked me again how far long do I think I was? My last period was 22 Oct so we're obviously quite concerned. I just turned 40 and my husband just turned 50. I did not have any pain or bleeding and did not suffer nausea nor morning sickness. in fact I feel quite well considering it was my first baby at first try. I am now booked for another scan and of next week and I dont know how to feel or how to act. My DH is upset and I have been crying. I just dont know what to do, what to think and we only have each other to support each other except of my sister in law but she's far away from me and have 3 children of her own. I dont know where to go and who to talk to and what to feel and think. We have been taking pregnacare conception for at least 3 months before we conceived. Tha k you for reading. xxx

BunnytheBlueWhale Thu 16-Jan-20 21:41:37

I’m so sorry I tagged the wrong person

@Avocuddles Congratulations! That’s a really good like for 9DPO

Bumblebee999 Thu 16-Jan-20 21:14:18

Also @SunStruck thanks for replying to me ☺️ I definitely feel like everyone else I know has these easy Effortless conceptions and pregnancies, it’s good to know I’m not alone. You and I seem to have quite similar stories regarding the first miscarriage. I’m very grateful to you for sharing x

Bumblebee999 Thu 16-Jan-20 21:10:56

@Hopeful1988 sorry I can’t help with your query as I didn’t have implantation bleeding with my pregnancy. Hoping for the best for you x

@Avocuddles I can also definitely see a line and It seems quite strong to me for 9dpo. Congratulations on this unexpected good news ☺️ X

MissSparkles81 Thu 16-Jan-20 20:57:14

Awwww @Avocuddles I can def see the line too. I got my bfp at 9days po 🥰

Huge congratulations lovely xx

BunnytheBlueWhale Thu 16-Jan-20 19:48:37

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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