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Over 40's TTC loads of baby dust to all... 5

(385 Posts)
Chatbash72 Wed 06-Nov-19 18:31:30

Hope this works as we lots the thread

Starlight39 Fri 06-Dec-19 14:47:45

Lovely babies @CritterTamer!

That's a tricky decision @NicLondon1. It's good they found something treatable I guess in a way. If you have a treatment plan for pregnancy with the private clinic, I'd just keep TTC if I were you and go ahead with that if you get pregnant. Although, I guess it depends really how likely the anticardiolipin antibodies are to go away after 3 months.

I've had 2 mc and now wondering if I should see my doctor. I do have a DC so was assuming the 2 MC were down to my age/bad luck (one was at 6 weeks and one MMC). I think I'll just get this cycle and Christmas out of the way then decide.

Hopefully123 Fri 06-Dec-19 16:57:47

Hi ladies. Just about found this thread again. I'm 42 year old and I've not had a period since January this year. Have been ttc for couple of years on and off. So this year had my gynae appointments which they found a polyp which they removed.Had all the tests reviewed. Low amh high fsh. Consultant recommendations were not ivf but donor egg.Anyway few weeks ago I attended open evening for private ivf..looked all good so had an initial appointment this week.she did the scan and said everything looks ok but no follicle on the left ovary and one follicle on the right ovary but it's not growing or doing anything. Its just there and said would not want me to have a round of ivf as the chances are low.she did say donor egg or even adoption.we have one child boy whose 9years old concieve all fine etc. Please can you help. She did say you are probably going through the change but have no sister whose alot older than me is having regular periods cycles etc

Hopefully123 Fri 06-Dec-19 17:03:57

Would you say reflexology or acupuncture will help the follicle grow

burntpinky Fri 06-Dec-19 20:30:47

Fuck. Am either 6 or 7 DPO, at my work Xmas party with no fucking knickers on (as my Chubb is then too obvious in long dress) and just started bleeding. A little. Is it implantation or just this bloody spotting ore period (a week early) I’m getting investigated? Now can’t enjoy myself.

Plus my alleged “friend” sat next to me who I know isn’t really is ignoring me and I’m stuck until end of meal


Rubyroost Sat 07-Dec-19 23:34:47

Hi all I lost this thread for a very long time Just dropping in to say I've read all of your updates and am also placemarking so I don't lose the thread again. Hoping for some Christmas bfps. 🤞🤞🤞

ChangeyMcChangeChange Sun 08-Dec-19 09:36:27

I hope nobody minds me jumping on, I'm not technically 40 til next month. I had a miscarriage last month at 5 weeks after a year of TTC for number 2. I've been harbouring this secret fantasy I'll be one of those women who get pregnant immediately after a miscarriage (I ovulated about a week after the bleeding stopped) but AF is due tomorrow and I can tell it is definitely coming. I'm really struggling with being 40 and having not conceived and feeling like I am old and it will never happen again. I weaned my two year old a couple of months ago to try and help and I'm really struggling that it hasn't helped and I stopped breastfeeding for nothing. It has been helpful to read about some of you on here so I hope you don't mind me joining slightly early.

burntpinky Sun 08-Dec-19 11:00:21

@ChangeyMcChangeChange - welcome and so sorry for your loss. I feel for you. I have a 15 month old DC and desperately want a second but am now 41. We've only been TTC the last 2 months but neither has resulted in a BFP (and got AF at stupid o clock this morning bloody day 22 of cycle and its def not implantation bleeding!) and I really thought we might get lucky as first time around I got a BFP first time of trying (though that resulted in a MMC at 9.5 weeks and was age 38) but then got BFP 4 months later resulting in DC. It's so disheartening when it doesn't happen but I reckon you've still got a good 4 years (and I three) so we just have to hang on in there and keep on trying and if it doesn't happen within the first 6 months, seek some help.

Catclock Sun 08-Dec-19 12:29:10

Well so much for dtd every other day. That hasn't happened AGAIN this month.
It's so difficult for me and, in particular, my oh. I feel because he already has a child (under 4) he doesn't have the same urgency or priority to the situation. We've both been shattered this week it's been very intense with work and looking after my mother and his child, but it's the little things like it's not at the forefront of his mind, and I do understand, but it's just hard dealing with it on your own.
We did dtd when I thought was right, once on Thursday when I had ewcm, so ya never know. But in all honesty it feels like things are passing by the wayside.

ChangeyMcChangeChange Sun 08-Dec-19 12:35:16

Thank you @burntpinky. Sorry to hear you are experiencing the same. It took over a year to conceive DD so I feel like back where I was then which was really miserable. I've had a lot of investigations and all the tests (keep getting told how amazing my amh is, 19.1, but I'm still not pregnant), hycosy in July, lap and dye and excision for an endometrioma in August. We had to go private for that after NHS testing said there was nothing wrong... I was hoping that that might help things as I fell pregnant two months after having an HSG last time, but it's over three months now so I think I've missed the boat on the fertility boost you get from those things. I think that's why I'd been pinning my hopes on the more fertile after a miscarriage theory. I've been seeing a nutritionist, having accupuncture and taking a shed load of supplements. I've been told my only other option is IVF but I think statistically I'm more likely to conceive naturally than through IVF. I'll pick myself up but I just feel really down this month and I just don't think I have another year in me.

burntpinky Sun 08-Dec-19 12:41:43

@ChangeyMcChangeChange - I totally get it and especially if you've had all the investigations and so can't pinpoint a reason for it. Have you tried going on a holiday around FW time? Just thinking if you're able to relax a bit (a few cocktails etc) might help? And I know it's frustrating when people say just relax as you can't just relax but just thinking of things to try.

TBH, I'm quite down today, even though we've not been trying for long. I sat round table with OH and DC this morning for breakfast and our family just doesn't feel complete if you know what I mean. I love DC so much, he's such an amazing kid and I just want a sibling he can grow up with.

ChangeyMcChangeChange Sun 08-Dec-19 12:48:19

I get it @burntpinky I adore my daughter but I think she'd make a great sister.

I'm not off my next fertile week, but post fertile week falls over Christmas so I'm hoping this next cycle I can be more relaxed around fertilisation and implantation time.

For good or bad my cycles are only 25 days long which means I'm having a lot more periods (disappointments) but I'm not having to wait long to try again.

Rubyroost Sun 08-Dec-19 15:46:43

If you've had tests and they've found no reasons then that's great. Most reasons at our age are chromosomal and if the egg is no good then it's not being fertilised. I guess that can be a good thing as your body is doing the right thing, rather than continuing with a non viable pregnancy. They'll be some good eggs in there and you just need to keep on going. I read quite a bit on whether you should have sex every day or every other and found research that said every day. I started to do this around ovulation day and it worked for me.

Trouble is if we hit at the right time it seemed that everything would get fertilised, if you've read about super fertility it's where everything is fertilised even if it's non viable. Well, eventually a healthy egg (as far as I know 🤞 ) was fertilised, not saying the journey to get there wasn't painful. I didn't change lifestyle (kept drinking the red wine) have any other vits except folic acid. Just lots of sex around the week of ovulation. Keep at it ladies, you'll get there x

ChangeyMcChangeChange Sun 08-Dec-19 17:38:28

Thank you @rubyroost that is interesting to read. Unfortunately my H can't really manage every day, although the month I conceived we did every other day twice and then two consecutive days when I got a solid smiley and then the next every other day just in case. The window between my period and ovulation is quite short so I just have to hope it'll be enough again

Rubyroost Sun 08-Dec-19 17:59:02

My cycles were only 25 days too.

NicLondon1 Sun 08-Dec-19 21:45:53

@Starlight39 - sorry late to reply from your Friday post. But yes, we've decided to just keep ttc this month and will inject with the Heparin if I get a BFP. For what it's worth, I also have a naturally conceived DD age 5, so this whole antibodies discovery is new to me! Perhaps antibodies develop with age, I don't know..? It's not been well researched.

@Hopefully123 - I'm so sorry for your results. Perhaps it is worth getting a second opinion from another clinic...?

@ChangeyMcChangeChange Welcome and sorry for your loss. I think if you only stopped breastfeeding two months ago, then actually you got pregnant immediately which is pretty amazing. Don't lose hope, it means you can get pregnant!
There is another option aside from IVF, which is called Superovulation IUI or Stimulated IUI. It's like a Mini-IVF in that you are stimulated to produce 2 or 3 eggs in one cycle (rather than loads), but none are removed, sperm is inserted via IUI (and via sex!). So there is a 10% chance of twins/multiples, but at our age it is more likely that only 1 of the eggs "takes".
I'm going to start this next cycle. Will let you know how it goes...

ChangeyMcChangeChange Sun 08-Dec-19 22:08:07

Interesting @NicLondon1! That's not something I've heard of. Look forward to hearing about it and your experience. Best of luck to you.

I know I've got to try and focus on the positives, I've just found it very hard after the miscarriage, I'm hoping once this period is out of the way I can look forward a bit more

Starlight39 Mon 09-Dec-19 11:24:39

So sorry AF came early @burntpinky. How was the rest of your works party?

@Catclock everything crossed that you DTD at the right time - it only takes once and if you had EWCM, it sounds like the best possible time. It is hard especially if you're really busy and stressed to get enough DTD in. Do you try and work out timing of ov to get the timing right even if you can't DTD really often?

Hi @Hopefully123 - that sounds really tough. I think acupuncture would be worth a go. Would you consider a donor egg IVF? I don't know much about these things but could clomid or something similar kickstart your body? Or agnus castus?

Hi and welcome @ChangeyMcChangeChange. Sorry things are tough just now. I think you're more fertile after a miscarriage for a few months? So don't lose hope yet!

@NicLondon1 that sounds a good option to just keep going with TTC. That's interesting you have a 5 year old and they found the antibodies - yes, I did wonder if it's something you can develop with age or maybe just get lucky first time around. I did take aspirin with my DS's pregnancy as I'd heard it could be good and I didn't take it properly with either of my losses so I'm thinking I'll do that from ov this time.

@Rubyroost - I've heard of the superfertility thing (I saw it called "unfussy womb" too!) and wondered if that was true in my case as I've got pregnant fairly quickly twice. I think DTD every day is a good option too if possible or otherwise I try and go with the sperm meets egg plan - every other day then 3 days in a row after a positive OPK.

DP is having a night off DTD tonight as we did it quite a lot over the weekend and I should be ovulating around Thursday so lots of DTD Tuesday onwards. I'm hoping Christmas preparations and fun will take my mind off the 2ww (or 11 day wait in my case!) this time.

burntpinky Mon 09-Dec-19 12:50:07

@Starlight39 - thanks for your sympathies. The rest of party was a bit poo. The girl is not my friend and kept making me feel like crap for doing silly dancing etc.

Your timing for DTD is pretty good I reckon as Xmas should hopefully take your mind off the TWW! Lots of baby dust with extra tinsel for you x

Starlight39 Mon 09-Dec-19 13:40:57

Sorry the rest of the party was a bit poo @burntpinky. The work girl sounds horrible and really not fun to make fun of silly dancing. Surely a work party should be ALL about silly dancing?!

Yes, christmas timing should be good for getting my mind off things. A BFP would be a lovely christmas present but if not, I figure I'll just relax my not-drinking-too-much for a bit and enjoy christmas so I'm trying to see it as win-win (although the baby would be the preferred option of course fgrin)

ChangeyMcChangeChange Mon 09-Dec-19 13:42:28

Thank you @starlight39 I'm feeling very down at the moment but I know I'll pick up in a day or so once the disappointment of this cycle has disapated a bit. Your timing sounds very good and having Christmas as a distraction is good timing

Catclock Mon 09-Dec-19 20:31:20

Awwww @Starlight39 thank you for your kind words. I get panicky now and again. The prospect of never having a child of my own is a scary one. However I really need to give myself a break sometimes. I know I'm too hard on myself. Aren't we all! Xx

Rubyroost Mon 09-Dec-19 22:46:07

Awww @Catclock I'm so sorry you're feeling like that. It can still happen though, I remember the doctor saying to me when you stop thinking about it you'll suddenly conceive. I understand that's easier said than done (and probs not helpful.. Sorry) esp when you feel time is running out.

Could you just forget the testing etc and just have sex every day after your period. It's a great excuse for sex and means you're not too focused on the all the testing etc.

CritterTamer Tue 10-Dec-19 15:34:56

@ChangeyMcChangeChange I feel your pain with the breastfeeding thing. My twins are almost 7 months and I've made the difficult decision to stop breastfeeding them now so that I can hopefully get my cycles back to being regular in time for a FET in May/June. I'm terrified that they aren't going to come back at all to be honest due to my age (almost 42) even though my fertility tests last year prior to IVF showed no sign of peri. It's the first day I haven't BF'd at all and I'm currently struggling with massive mum guilt and horrible boob pain and praying that it won't be for nothing!

MaryShelley1818 Fri 13-Dec-19 18:04:52

Hey everyone, hope you're all well xx Quick update from me!
We managed to book replacement flights at the 11th hour last week and spent 4 wonderful days in Disneyland Paris. DS was a star, it was freezing but he just embraced it and had the best ever 2nd Birthday meeting characters and riding big rides!

I'm as regular as clockwork on my cycle but AF was due on Sunday afternoon (never been more than a few hrs late) and we are currently on 5 days late and still getting BFNs. What is going on?!

NicLondon1 Fri 13-Dec-19 18:21:04

@MaryShelley1818 sounds like a lovely trip! Weird about the BFNs... although apparently flying can delay periods...?

How is everyone else doing? Anyone else in their 2 week wait?

I'm currently 3dpo. Am having to take aspirin, progesterone pessaries plus daily injecting with Heparin (due to antibodies results). It's horrible. Not sure I could actually keep up the injections for a full 9 months!

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