Being unrealistic with myself

(212 Posts)
ScaredFlamingo Mon 21-Oct-19 20:52:37

Wondering if anyone else experienced this... I am already setting unrealistic expectations for myself. I had my coil out 2 weeks ago, had sex maybe twice since and for some reason am disappointed I am not pregnant ... any tips on how to not do this to myself??

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Deli111 Mon 21-Oct-19 21:18:14

Hi there, no tips really but I’m the exact same! I came off the pill on 4th October, not even had a period yet and somehow I’m disappointed I’m not pregnant as I thought I ovulated.... it’s only been two weeks! Don’t worry, our time will come. We just need to be patient but I know it’s really hard... xx

ScaredFlamingo Mon 21-Oct-19 21:24:10

Fingers crossed for the both of us that it won’t take too long...! Before I had my coil out I was freaking about being pregnant, now it’s out I’m sad I’m not already haha!
We need to try and enjoy the sleep, wine, soft cheeses and sushi while we can!

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Plaw Mon 21-Oct-19 22:27:37


I think this is totally normal.
This is my first cycle trying & I’m already feeling a little impatient & obsessing about it. It feels like it will never happen but again I think we all feel a bit like this.

TheBeesKnee Mon 21-Oct-19 22:52:56

Time and negative pregnancy tests will temper your enthusiasm - unless you're one of those lucky witches who falls pregnant first go!

Deli111 Mon 21-Oct-19 23:23:39

Cheese and wine.... I like it! I suppose really I should wait for my period to start, I just thought with being off the pill two weeks now that it would have come already... so annoying as who knows when it will show up?! That will then be my first cycle, so to speak. I don’t think I can count this as a cycle as I have nothing to go by yet. Just could have sworn I felt ov pain on the 11th....

goodforbrian Mon 21-Oct-19 23:35:38

I have found my people 😂 I am the same, got married in September, came off the pill early October... and I've already pee'd on 3 pregnancy tests hoping for a positive! (Apparently I just like wasting money 🙈) TTC is just all consuming isn't it? I genuinely can't think about anything else atm? Before this I was fairly normal, I promise!

goodforbrian Mon 21-Oct-19 23:38:17

And @TheBeesKnee Sending you lots of baby dust! Have you been trying long? I can imagine how the excitement must dwindle. It's a rollercoaster for me and I haven't really begun yet!

TheBeesKnee Mon 21-Oct-19 23:53:07


This month marks a year of TTC. Not one measly BFP, not even a squinter. The first few months were torture. The bit in between was a bit of a blur. The 9 month mark was particularly hard but that's common. And I've full year feels like my fate has been sealed. I know I am being dramatic but my feelings are all over the place.

Sorry to rain on your parade, hopefully you will bypass all this nonsense smile

Crazymummyto3 Tue 22-Oct-19 03:02:35

I think it's only natural! I stopped taking my pill on 5th August. In the first month we didn't dtd at the right time due to a sickness bug hitting everyone in our house so I knew I wouldn't have conceived that month but was still annoyed at myself. This month I'm not really sure when I ovulated as my OPKs were negative every time I took them apart from one which was positive, but we only managed to dtd once around that time due to hubby working a ridiculous set of shifts and me being stressed about work. I'm already disappointed at myself as I've convinced myself I'm not pg this month, even though AF isn't due until Thursday! I think mine is largely coming from the fact that I fell pg in the first month with our three other children, but I need to remember I'm older this time round and we haven't been dtd as much due to a hectic lifestyle!

Sorry they aren't tips on how to stop the feelings, but just wanted to let you know you're not on your own!

goodforbrian Tue 22-Oct-19 11:04:59

@TheBeesKnee you are certainly not raining on our parade, it's good for us to have realistic expectations. A whole year sounds tough but you WILL get your BFP! 🌟 I am new to this so I don't have any advice but just want to let you know that I will be keeping everything crossed for you. Be kind to yourself, you've got this!

ScaredFlamingo Tue 22-Oct-19 11:14:45

Thank you everyone!! This is a massive help.

I thought I was going crazy...! I’d like to think I’ll be easier on myself but I have a feeling I’m going to be exactly the same next month too haha!

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ScaredFlamingo Tue 22-Oct-19 11:15:36

@TheBeesKnee Keep positive!! It must be hard, I can only imagine, but I have everything crossed that it’ll happen soon!

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Deli111 Tue 22-Oct-19 16:44:12

It is so hard... can I ask for those of you who have come off the pill, have you had a period yet? I’m waiting.... yet no bleeding at all. Makes it so damn hard to know if I’ve ovulated....

goodforbrian Tue 22-Oct-19 18:07:04

Hi @Deli111 As soon as I came off my pill I had what I think was a withdrawal bleed that lasted 4 days but felt very period-like if that makes sense. It's so confusing 🙈 I've roughly worked out my ovulation dates from that but could be completely wrong. Have you not bled at all? It's so hard isn't it? I just want to know if my body is working how it should be.

goodforbrian Tue 22-Oct-19 18:11:56

Sorry @Deli111 just realised you said you haven't bled at all. Maybe the ovulation sticks could help you? Or blood tests to pinpoint ovulation? I know how you feel, it's so hard.

Deli111 Tue 22-Oct-19 20:18:16

Hi goodforbrian, I might try ov sticks, haven’t got any but I must buy some! Yes it’s so annoying. I was sure I ovulated as had pains, but bfn.. they do say it takes a while but I’m hoping my at comes soon xx

goodforbrian Wed 23-Oct-19 08:15:41

I think I will join you and get some ovulation sticks too @Deli111 ! According to my last bleed I should be due AF tomorrow, but so far no sign and another negative pregnancy test this morning 🙈 I'm a woman obsessed!

LazyDogFox Wed 23-Oct-19 09:08:53

Just here to say I feel exactly the same. Came off the pill in August and assumed I’d be pregnant now. HA let’s all laugh together. Sending hugs and patience to everyone 💐

ScaredFlamingo Wed 23-Oct-19 10:36:20

Now having all the symptoms that my period is coming in next couple of days... which makes me sad but maybe next month haha!

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Kim0485 Thu 24-Oct-19 14:13:12

I've been exactly the same, TTC out 1st and putting so much pressure on myself! So nice to know I'm not alone in feeling that way. 🤞🏻 For everyone

goodforbrian Thu 24-Oct-19 19:04:40

How's it going @ScaredFlamingo ? AF shown yet? I have no sign or symptom of anything atm 🤷🏽‍♀️ It makes obsessing so much harder 😂 Just hoping my body is silently getting back to normal after being on the pill 🤞🏽

ScaredFlamingo Fri 25-Oct-19 09:49:15

@goodforbrian No sign as yet! I had some PMS and cramping the first few days of the week but it seems to have disappeared again...! If it’s gonna come I’d rather just get it out the way so I can start trying again haha! Promised my partner I wouldn’t put any pressure on it so having to do this is stealth mode haha!

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Overthinker1988 Fri 25-Oct-19 10:56:14

Yeah I know how you feel, started TTC in September and convinced myself I was pregnant, was then so gutted when period came sad
Got pregnant October (second cycle) but didn't last long, lost it at 5 weeks (yesterday).
I actually don't feel as gutted at the loss as I felt when my period came last month. I just feel...mild disappointment/sadness but not the grief that others have talked about. I almost feel guilty about not being more upset. I think it's maybe because over the past 2 months I've adjusted my expectations. I accepted it could take up to a year or more and that I may have a MC thrown into the mix as well.
I'd say expect the worst and hope for the best to avoid disappointment, and take it one day at a time, try to keep busy with nice activities as well.

goodforbrian Fri 25-Oct-19 11:58:01

Haha @ScaredFlamingo stealth mode sounds familiar! Well, AF came for me overnight with a bang 🙈 I am upset that I am not pregnant this month but as you say I feel happy that this is the first day of my new cycle and I can start trying again soon! Hope AF comes for you soon 🤞🏽

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