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Potential ED but TTC

(4 Posts)
Newtothis93 Wed 11-Sep-19 22:06:31

So I feel I have no one to talk to in order to protect DH’s privacy but I need someone to tell me they understand... he has not (in the past few weeks) been been able to stay hard during foreplay or intercourse although is still able to come on occasion, he acknowledges the issue in a flippant manner but naturally doesn’t want to discuss it and has begged me not to tell my family or friends which is fine and I won’t but I’m stopping my pill next week in order for us to start trying for a baby and we’re so excited yet there’s this underlying thought from both of us that it may not happen.

I already feel emotional about potentially not conceiving and we haven’t even started yet! I know there’ll be other routes like viagra etc..he’s told me I just need to be spontaneous rather than planning sex as he overthinks it but you kinda have to had planned sex when you’re TTC 😑 (unless I don’t tell him when I’m ovulating and he thinks I’m being spontaneous)..but then how can I share anything exciting with him? I’m already keeping it all a secret from my family and friends because I wanna surprise them all if/when we do conceive but I feel like I can’t discuss it with anyone and I’m going mad 🤯

HELP!

IsobelRae23 Thu 12-Sep-19 01:29:50

This happens to lots of men when they are expected to perform, that’s why it’s suggested you don’t tell them ‘quick love we need to get to the bedroom now!’ because they end up with performance anxiety. You keep track of days etc but you don’t need to tell him every little detail.

kellyw1989 Thu 12-Sep-19 09:47:49

It happens a lot when men are expected to perform at certain times, my partner generally has no issues but when we plan it. It’s frustrating but putting indirect pressure won’t make it happen. Also unplanned is more fun 😁

Newtothis93 Thu 12-Sep-19 13:19:27

Thank you so much ladies, think you're totally right..I'll just track the days myself and not put the pressure on him to perform on "ovulation day". I just need to enjoy the journey otherwise the joy and excitement of trying will go out the window!

Thank you 😁

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