TTC after pregnancy loss 32 - the penguin huddle

[ReeReeR]

New thread 🐧🐧🐧

I have accidentally created a thread 33 as well but will delete that!

[nicola18737]

Thanks.

I'm going to sign up for a new car today in the hope it'll cheer me up and give me something to look forward to (it'll be ready in November). It's horribly consumerist which I feel a bit embarrassed about but it's working for me. It's the only thing that gets me excited right now.

[Mumlili8]

@ReeReeR thanks for the new thread

[Mumlili8]

🐧 🐧 🐧 🐧 🐧 🐧 🐧 🐧 🐧 🐧 🐧 🐧 🐧

Welcome to the 🐧 huddle. This is a wonderful supportive group for anyone TTC after the loss of a pregnancy or baby. Together we can get through he rollercoaster of TTC and get our baby penguins xx

Roll call, I will start

Mumlili4
Age 38
8 miscarriages to date mc, mmc, cp, cp, mmc, mmc, cp and cp. Not hopeful this cycle. Waiting to ovulate but usually do cd10 or cd11 I'm now cd12 with not a shadow on opks and cbfm says low still. So possibly an anovulation cycle.

Baby dust to everyone xx

@VenusStarr
@strawberrye
@Avocuddles
@Kayjay2018
@fnej01

Started to tag if someone else can continue x

[Kayjay2018]

Thank you for tagging me in, I don't want you to think I'm ignoring the thread but I got my BFP yesterday morning and think I'm 4weeks, so I will duck out to avoid upsetting anyone.
I don't know how this pregnancy will work out, I'm currently waiting for advice from gp and obstetrician as I don't know if I need any medication given my autoimmune tests (wasn't supposed to actively try this month but the advice came after my fertile week ended) so I'm trying to bury my head in the clouds to protect myself from a bad outcome. I wish you all the best and hope you get your rainbows soon.

[TwittleBee]

Hey thanks for the new thread! Baby dust to all.

Adding to the roll call

TwittleBee
Aged 25
1 DS earth side
1 "chemical pregnancy" May '18
1 Missed Miscarriage Dec '18
1 DS died 5 days old July '19

We have decided to start TTC this month, in fact today we DTD, rather than wait till our originally intended Nov / Dec.

We have our Consultant appointment on Friday to discuss DS2's death and possible causes etc. Looks like it was Group B Strep though.

[TwittleBee]

Wishing you all the best @Kayjay2018 sending you so much luck and good vibes xx

[JuniperAndRose]

@ReeReeR thank you for the new thread.
@Kayjay2018 congratulations on your BFP. I am going to take the start of the new thread bringing news of a BFP as a sign of good luck for all of us. I hope that you have a gentle 9 months.

Checking in:
JuniperAndRose
Age: 38
TTC: no 2, after the stillbirth of my beloved daughter Eliza in January 2019.

Currently finding TTC very tough indeed. I was tracking ovulation via BBT on the natural cycles app, but found myself getting obsessed every month (and driving my DH mad). This cycle I have stopped tracking and we have DTD every 2 days from CD 7. My cycle has been pretty messed up since I gave birth and so I am not holding out much hope for this cycle and I am (once again) trying not to get obsessive.

I also went for a reflexology foot massage this month, which I did find very relaxing. I kept reading good things about acupuncture as a way of supporting TTC, but that isn't for me as I am afraid of needles!

[VenusStarr]

Thanks for the new thread, are we just posting on this one now? I'll copy and paste my post from the last thread.

About me:
Age: 36
TTC over 18 months, on infertilty pathway but concieved cycle 16
MMC at 9+4 (baby made it to 5+ weeks) in April 2019
Concieved in July, 3 months after mc and after having hsg (dye in tubes test) I'm currently experiencing another possible MMC (number 2), am 7+5 at the moment but baby is 2 weeks behind. Confirmation scan next week.

Here's my message from the last thread:

Thank you everyone, sorry I posted then disappeared, I'm struggling a lot. Been to the GP today and he's signed me off until after the next scan (Friday 13th). I'm still really angry and haven't really cried, although I completely broke down at the doctors. I just feel like I've failed dh and my babies. The only positive is that my body know what to do in pregnancy as it clearly doesn't want to let them go. I feel very pregnant and no signs of miscarrying any time soon. Dh is hopeful that it means we might get a miracle next week 💔 in my heart I know it's over, I cannot allow myself to have any glimmer of hope and just want it over.

Thank you @nicola18737 how are you getting on?

How are you @ReeReeR? I'm debating going back to yoga, it really helped with my mindset last time but stopped as soon as I found out I was pregnant. Are you back at work now, how are you finding it?

Sorry you find yourself here @MrsMc2019. Best wishes for your wedding! I bet you're so excited, I remember counting down the days to mine. I've actually been looking at some wedding pictures this morning, wish we could do it all again.

Thank you @mrslaurenbrown, smep got us our bfp this time and I would try it again, once we've got the all clear from the fertility team to try again.

Thank you @Pegase, how are you?

I'm sorry about your ectopic @LisaxMarie

I'm sorry you found yourself here too @June1987

How are you doing @Noisysparrows and @TwittleBee?

Sorry you find yourself here @Katie1109, with my first miscarriage I ovulated relatively quickly, a couple of days later than my usual. I was only mildly tracking my cm, not using opks or anything. I was lucky last time that my cycle regulated quickly. Fingers crossed its similar for you.

Thank you @Mumlili8. Oh my goodness, that must have been difficult news to hear. I admire you for being able to support your friend, I'm not sure I would be able to do that. I struggle with the unfairness and the lack of control, like we're all doing everything we can to bring a healthy baby into the world and are struggling and other people don't even need to try!

Right, I think I've tagged everyone...

Hope everyone is doing OK today xxx ❤️

[MrsLEB]

Thanks for new thread (btw name change from mrslaurenbrown)

About me
Age: 28
TTC #1
TTC since January 2019
MC in July 2019 @ 7 weeks - pregnancy of unknown location although mc naturally
Tried SMEP last cycle

Cycle after mc went as usual 30 days although bleeding was all over the place (colours, consistency etc.)

This cycle has been only 21 days which is highly unusual for me as I usually average at 32.

Af started with a gush of dark red blood followed by 2 days of light red/brown spotting and now all seems to be done.

Going to start dtd from tonight as don't want to risk early ovulation again.

[MrsMc2019]

Thank you @Venusstarr & @TwittleBee I had the thread recommended to me a while ago I just needed to pluck up the courage to join.

Wedding plans are coming along nicely, I can’t believe that we’re in the final two weeks!

@Venusstarr I’m so sorry that you’re going through this right now, I’m sorry there’s nothing I can say that will help.

@Mumlili8 I hope you’re ok, it’s so hard to hear about people close to you falling pregnant when it’s not that easy for you.

@nicola198737 I’m so sorry to hear of your loss, I hope you’re as ok as you can be just now.

Checking in:

MrsMc2019
Age 39 (40 in April)
BMI 41.9 😳
1st BFP 15/01/2019
Anembryonic Pregnancy discovered 20/02/2019
Surgery to complete loss 08/03/2019
Readmitted with retained tissue 17/03/2019
Currently CD28/14DPO
AF due today but I’m only getting some brown stringy CM, no cramps yet - I thought I had back pain niggling yesterday but that’s gone now.

Once the bleeding finished I seemed to snap back into a 28day cycle with a 4day bleed (always been 4 days for as long as I can remember and I was 16/17 before I took my first period). Tracking ovulation via digital and I seem to ovulate around CD14 each cycle.

Had fertility testing in March 2018 with no issues, went back a few weeks ago and still no physical issues (despite age and weight I appear to be healthy) the only issue my Dr highlighted was stress so I’ve recently been going to Reiki to try and help with that.

[Mumlili8]

@51Babbabump @nicola18737 @MrsMc2019 @LisaxMarie @Noisysparrows @Katie110907 @June1987

[ReeReeR]

Sorry didn’t roll call as wasn’t sure if we’d fill up the old thread first

Me: ReeReeR
Age: 35
My daughter was stillborn at full term in February 2019 and I had a CP last month

AF is on her way and we didn’t TTC this month. Had a relaxing day though with Zumba this morning and then a massage this afternoon

@Kayjay2018 Gentle congratulations. Fingers crossed for you 🤞

@JuniperAndRose Is your cycle very irregular since you had your daughter. My cycle has been irregular since I had my daughter but it’s still within “normal” range 27-34 days so I am hoping that won’t impact on conceiving. I think it’s takes time for our bodies to get back to a new normal.

@VenusStarr I’m so sorry you are going through this. I believe miracles do happen but if this is what you think then having to wait things out isn’t ideal. I am hoping for the best outcome for you and we are here for you whatever happens.

I’m ok thanks. I’m enjoying being back at work. It’s busy but I’m trying not to get to the point that I’m working late and not taking holiday. I’m trying to take off a day a week (I have 36 days annual leave to use in about 6 months) so I took today off.

I would really encourage you to get back to yoga when you can. I did pregnancy yoga when I was pregnant with my daughter but didn’t enjoy that as much.

Good luck again for Friday @TwittleBee

Hope you are ok @Noisysparrows and everyone else

@nicola18737 Did you get a new car?

[Mumlili8]

And more hope I didn't miss anyone
@PrincessConsuela12
@Ginmonkey84
@Rumi1
@InDreamland
@Russkispy
@Pop1234
@pinkoi
@TinyPaws
@Frillyfarmer
@rosamundos
@TubbyMcFatfuck
@KnitKitty
@Mistymeow
@Squiff70
@Navy123
@Constance1234

I know some of the names tagged are graduates but it would be nice to update sometimes. I know success updates keep me hopeful even when I'm down so far it seem impossible to get back up.

Baby dust xx

[ReeReeR]

@MyHeartisBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue
@Bluebelltulip @Rubyroot @strawberrye also on graduates

[fnej01]

Thanks for the tag @Mumlili8

Age 39
MMC, MC, MC, CP in 2018
Diagnosed with APS (St Mary's RMC) and high UNK (Coventry clinic)
I am currently 11 weeks pregnant 🤞 on a cocktail of meds prednisolone, progesterone, aspirin and heparin to manage the conditions above.

Would love to stick around and see how you are all doing, and provide any support or answer questions on diagnosis. Others supported me previously and I was very grateful for this. I have been on this thread for around 18months

@Mumlili8 hope you are ok, and ov catches up. Mine were always a little delayed after a loss.

@VenusStarr been thinking of you lots. I completely understand your anger. I think DH are just so desperate to have hope, they make things worse. Look after yourself. I hope you find a way to look forward soon.

@ReeReeR how are you? How are you coping with work? How is DH's Issue going?

Welcome to the new ladies sorry I am a little behind on all the stories.

Babydust to you all x

[June1987]

Thanks for the tags guys.

I feel a bit of a fraud when I hear all your stories and feel I moan and cry about nothing in comparison to what some of you guys have been through.

Age: 32
Trying for # 2 since March 19
Already have DS who’s just turned 5
Miscarriage at 6 weeks 21st August so now I’ve stopped bleeding just waiting to see if I ovulate and what happens with my cycles. My cycles are normally 36 days.

I’ve heard mixed things on your more fertile after a miscarriage and then in the other hand shouldn’t try straight away. So kinda a bit all over the place.

I’m a nurse in a doctors surgery so dreading next week and having to do whooping couch vaccinations and dealing with newborn babies. What jobs do others have? Do you guys find TTC takes over your life?

[Mumlili8]

@June1987 I don't think I could cope with your job hun. I'm a jeweller and I can't deal with the supermarket and all the babies. I have ducked out of going to a christening because the child would have been the same age as the baby I was pregnant with the longest. I feel your frustration

[ReeReeR]

@fnej01 I’m ok thanks. Work is good. Busy but trying to take time to myself too. DH’s problem seems to have improved. It seems to be problematic and then be on but GP thinks he needs surgery (partial circumcision basically) which he isn’t keen on and might delay DTD too. Need to try to get up the diff before his op (don’t have a date yet)

Do you have a 12 week scan booked?

@June1987 I think the advice to wait is old advice or only based on dating. Current evidence seems to suggest there is no benefit to waiting (other than for dating purposes) I believe. As for your question on the other thread re dealing with MC emotionally I think we are all different and we all have v different experiences in some ways. Just find what helps you feel better and try to have good people and real life support around you would be my advice.

[fnej01]

@ReeReeR glad that work is going ok, but absolutely make sure you make time for yourself. Hope that you and DH manage to get some action in this month! Scan is not for a couple of weeks, but not too worried as RMC have been scanning me regularly until now.

[Alarica]

Hi ladies, hoping I can join as this seems like a really supportive thread.
I'm 43 with a two and a half year old DD. I finally managed to conceive again in February and was so happy until a natural miscarriage at 10 weeks in April. I was devastated (and shocked that a miscarriage could be so severe) but clung to the hope that a period of "super fertility" would follow. Unfortunately, that hasn't happened ☹️
I started taking Vitex to settle my cycles after the loss and just recently Inositol in an attempt to improve my egg quality. I was attending Reiki which I found really relaxing but my therapist has had to take long term leave, thinking of starting acupuncture now.
Looking forward to getting to know you all on this difficult journey x

[Pop1234]

@Mumlili8 thank you for the tag.

I always read the updates on here and see how you are all doing, but haven't posted for a while and haven't moved on to the graduates thread either.


I'm nearly 9 weeks and got another scan on Monday. Monday will be a huge milestone for me as two of my losses have been MMC between 8-9 weeks, so I'm feeling very nervous for it.

Hope you are all ok, I always think about you all. Sending lots of love and baby dust and sorry for being so absent xx

[Pegase]

Joining new thread!

Age:35
TTC #2 since April 2018
1 early mc Oct 2018
1 mc and ERPC Mar 2019
1 early mc August 2019

Hoping I have a few years yet to try for a sibling for DD.

[nicola18737]

@ReeReeR yes I ordered it! It's coming November/December time

[MrsLEB]

@June1987 I don't think you need to wait just start again when you feel ready. I do find TTC takes over my life a bit. I think about it everyday. It seems to be part of mine and DH routine now though. He's quite relaxed about it. I'm usually quite relaxed at the beginning of the cycle and then once the 2ww starts I turn into a crazy person.

[Mumlili8]

Morning ladies well better late than never. Terrible timing as only dtd this morning and yesterday morning., but DH I away now for a few days due to work. Hope we got enough swimmer to where they should be and that they can hold on long enough for the egg to drop.

@Alarica welcome and sorry for your loss. Yes this an amazing bunch of ladies, couldn't get through this journey without them. I've been here forever (since thread 14) so feel free to ask questions, if I know I'll help if I can and if I can't I'm sure one of these lovely ladies can. Feel free to rant, ask advice and share the good and the bad. We're all here to hold each others hands. No one knows better than us lot the horrors and fears of ttc after a loss or many losses xx