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First timer ttc ...........Am I normal???

(7 Posts)
macaco Wed 01-Aug-07 12:57:59

I've always known I wanted children "at some point" and have been feeling quite broody for the last year or so. I got married this year and we decided to stop using contraception and let nature take it's course...not chart or temp or anything. I've found myself quite intereseted and excited by the whole thing but also sometimes it scares me. Does anyone else want a baby but find the idea a bit scary at the same time?
I think perhaps I've been reading too many childbirth threads. I think I need to wean myself away from threads about awful births and 3rd degree tearing, don't I? I don't even know why I'm reading them! It doesn't help that I'm in Spain and although I speak Spanish the whole strap you to a bed and give you a very medicalised birth scares me. (I'm not even pregnant)
Anyone else absolutely want to have a baby but feeling a bit scared by people saying how much "it changes your life forever"?
OK, I've finished now

RuthChan Wed 01-Aug-07 14:23:30

You are completely normal!!!
I think anyone who tries to have a baby without being scared at the same time about the consequences hasn't really thought the whole thing through properly.
It really is the biggest thing you can do in your life. (Well, it's the biggest thing I've ever done!)

Yes, the birth itself is scary, but you will be fine. You should try to educate yourself and make sure that you are well informed, but try to keep away from scare stories and unnecessarily negative childbirth threads. Women have been giving birth for millions of years and many mothers have perfectly safe and trouble-free births. You don't need to terrify yourself unnecessarily by thinking of awful alternatives. Just remember that the majority of mothers go back and do it all again, so it can't be that bad!!!

Yes, having a baby is a life-changing experience. Your life will never be the same again. But, most of those changes are for the better and once you have that tiny, beautiful, defenseless, dependent little being in your arms, you will never look back.

NAB3 Wed 01-Aug-07 14:25:22

Home birth...

Tigana Wed 01-Aug-07 14:30:11

You are normal...

There is someone else on MN who had a baby in spain isn't there? Was it SenoraPostrophe?

macaco Wed 01-Aug-07 16:34:33

Thanks for your replies and for not thinking I'm mad or silly!
The birth aspect does worry me (I'm a natural born worrier) because I know that here in Spain , although the care is good there are so many things that are not available (water birth, gas and air) and that births are on the whole over medicalised, although on the whole safer than in Britian in terms of infant mortality. If I get pregnant I'll be doing a LOT of research about birth here and ways to make it easier.
I think the whole responsibility thing worries me, that another life is completely dependant on me, but I guess you're right if I didn't worry about that I wouldn't make a very good future parent.
Also although I do want a baby and I feel now is the right time and I'd be really pleased to get a BFP I feel quite relaxed about it (only just started trying). Most people I know ttc ing seem to really really really want a baby NOW! I suppose I should feel thankful that I can be relaxed about it. No one knows we're ttcing so no one to talk to about any of this.

macaco Wed 01-Aug-07 17:46:15

.

RuthChan Thu 02-Aug-07 00:31:07

Hi again Macaco
It reslly does sound like you have your head screwed on and like you are approaching this from a very responsible point of view.
Parenthood is (so far, in my case) one of the most rewarding things in life, but it's also tough, scary and very hard work.

I'm afraid I don't know anything about childbirth in Spain, but I can sympathise because I live in Japan. I too was terrified because I knew that there were many differences between here and Britain. For example there is no pain relief of any sort available unless you're having a CS, just about everyone is cut as routine rather than allowing natural tears and there is no flexibility with regards to birthing position or location.
Before the birth I learned as much as I could about the Japanese system and discussed my concerns with my doctor. He was really understanding and in the end I had as good a birthing experience as I could have hoped for.
DD is my first child, so I have no experience of the UK system to compare it with and in fact, I hope to have a second child here in Japan. Better the devil you know and all that.
I'm sure you'll find it similar in Spain.

I agree that just letting nature take its course is probably the best way to conceive. There are certainly things you can do to increase the likelihood of things happening, as I'm sure you know, but putting too much pressure on yourselves and hoping too hard that it'll happen soon can only delay it. Remaining relaxed seems to help things along.
It certainly makes TTC more fun too!!!

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