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At age 34, am I crazy to wait and try for due date based on school year?

(77 Posts)
Awake6 Wed 29-May-19 19:46:16

I am 34 and we currently have no children. I have read numerous articles that indicate that the youngest children in the class are at a significant disadvantage to the older ones. DH and I could begin TTC very soon, but I am contemplating waiting until December. This would mean should we conceive, the due date would be at earliest September resulting in our child being one of the older ones. That being said, I totally accept the things out of my control so should it take us 10 months to conceive and my child ends up being one of the youngest in the class, I don't mind. I just wondered if I shouldn't be delaying things for 7 months given my age and the reason for it?

sincethereis Wed 29-May-19 19:49:52

Why do you want them to be one of the oldest?

I wouldn’t recommend it. You might find that at 34 your not as fertile as say 25.

Pppppppp1234 Wed 29-May-19 19:51:44

I’d just get on with it, you might get pregnant straight away it might take you months and months. Age isn’t on your side so why wait

itwasalovelydreamwhileitlasted Wed 29-May-19 19:53:14

I wouldn't delay due to something like a school year! You'll find if you don't fall pregnant the first few months of trying all your planning will go out of the window anyway and you'll be happy to have a baby any time of the year so long as you get one!

Also waiting several months when your approaching your mid thirties isn't advisable - you don't know how easy or hard it will be to get pregnant or even stay pregnant - you could be one of the lucky ones and get pregnant month 1 or it could take several years and several miscarriages and you'll kick yourself for wasting those 7 cycles

Rodent01 Wed 29-May-19 19:53:57

Wouldn’t worry. August born DD here, schools offset their progress against birthdays while it still matters - some people would be more pissed off with a 25th December or 1st January birthday - can’t plan it, so wouldn’t worry!

Oliversmumsarmy Wed 29-May-19 19:54:11

You know you can get a child who will also struggle even if they are September born.

What it your child comes early.

Iggly Wed 29-May-19 19:54:39

I did this and it worked (October baby) but I was 27!

Second time around I didn’t care and just wanted a baby.... it’s minor in the grand scheme of things.

AsGoodAsTinaFey Wed 29-May-19 19:55:04

At 34 you aren't at all old! So, if you wanted to wait i doubt it would jepoardise your chances at all. There is always the possibility that you conceive straight away and the baby is born early, in August...
However, as a teacher, I just wanted to add that I cannot observe any difference in performance between those born at the start or at the end of the year. There are so many more factors involved so I wouldn't worry about this if I were you.

corlan Wed 29-May-19 19:55:15

Get on with it! Your child may be a bloody genius or as thick as mince and it won't matter whether they're oldest or youngest in their school year.

TheCraicDealer Wed 29-May-19 19:55:48

I am a few years younger but this was a consideration for me when we starting TTC back in October. In NI it's slightly different as our cut-off is 01 July. We did conceive quickly but I had an early mc- tbh when I was going through that he or she could've been due on 30th June and I couldn't have cared less.

Ultimately there are so many factors that contribute to attainment levels and birth month is only one of them- your DC will already have an advantage with two involved parents who value education. Six months is a long time to wait, especially in your mid thirties. If it did take a while for it to happen there's every chance you could start beating yourself up thinking "if we'd tried in June/July/August etc I could be pregnant now". It's not a good reason to wait imho but only you can make the call for yourself.

Camomila Wed 29-May-19 19:58:03

We tried that at 27 and DS took 5 months to conceive - April birthday (though academically and socially he's fine)

Though it only took us 1 month at 31 (pregnant atm)

You might as well try now, a Jan or Feb birthday is still one of the older ones in a class.

AsGoodAsTinaFey Wed 29-May-19 19:58:16

Also, look at it this way... A child born in August equals almost a year less of childcare/nursery fees than a child born in September. wink

Definitely not what I planned with mine...

neversleepagain Wed 29-May-19 19:58:23

Someone I know planned their pregnancy and it worked. Conceived in February, twins due in November. They were premature and she now has two August premies.

Applesandpears23 Wed 29-May-19 19:59:08

I planned my second child to avoid being pregnant in summer months. There are lots of pros and cons of different times of year. A Sept due date baby could be born early and so be an August birthday in the end.

Pipandmum Wed 29-May-19 20:01:38

Ha my husband had an August child already and when I got pregnant due mid to late August he said ‘cross your legs let’s hope for September delivery’! Only joking of course but there can be a difference. As it happens my boy came three weeks early in July and was soooo ready for school when the time came!

AllTheWhoresOfMalta Wed 29-May-19 20:05:44

No, don’t do this. I tried and it didn’t work!! You might be lucky but I know of only a few people who fell first go first time. Me and DH are both teachers born in September so we had grand plans for our first DD to be born in September like us. Didn’t work. Took us 9 months and she ended up being born at the beginning of August. By the time I got pregnant I didn’t care.

By the time we were ready to have another we decided it didn’t remotely matter but we would start trying in December just in case this one was quicker. She was and DD2 was born on September 3rd. So the one where we were desperate for her to be born at the beginning of the school year was born at the end and when we stopped caring fate threw us a September baby. Typical.

Don’t wait, especially at 34. Crack on.

Ellieboolou27 Wed 29-May-19 20:06:39

I've one the eldest and one the youngest and it's not made any difference. I started TTC at 34 and finally had my first at 36.5 so personally, from experience wouldn't.

Allboundformoomooland Wed 29-May-19 20:11:33

My eldest was born in mid July and is one of the brightest in his class. So much around academic success is a combination of natural intelligence and parental support. At 34, and definitely if you'd like more than one child, I would prioritise trying to conceive sooner.

ColdCottage Wed 29-May-19 20:17:16

If they are born 1 April - 31 August and you feel they would benefit from starting at compulsory school age you can have them start the following September. Not all schools accept this but if it's in the best interest of the child they should.

dancingheartbeat Wed 29-May-19 20:18:57

To be honest I wouldn't bother planning it!! It might take longer than you think, all my siblings were pregnant with their first within the first 3 months of trying, so when I hit 3 months I was just assuming I'd be pregnant.... it took 3 very long years!! If you want to TTC and are ready then just go for it xx

IsAStormApporaching Wed 29-May-19 20:19:24

I worried about this when I had my ds he was near the end of the year.
My 2 are a dd born in june and a ds born in October.
My ds is smart than what his sister was at this age.
Both are absolutely wonderful.
I now don't care if they are the oldest/ youngest/ smartest in the class. I am just glad I have them, so if I where you I wouldn't put off trying just because of a birth timing. When they get here it doesn't seem as important as it did.

Preggosaurus9 Wed 29-May-19 20:20:29

At 31 it took over 12 months of trying. At age 33 it took one cycle. It happens when it happens. Don't waste any more time overthinking it.

moggle Wed 29-May-19 20:24:32

I put off starting TTC age 31 for one month for this reason but I wouldn’t have done it for any longer. As it happens it took us 2 years and then a cycle of IVF to get our first. 3 cycles of IVF to get our second (and third, twins...)
If you want to avoid an august baby you could give it a miss for a month but they could still come early. As others have said there’s no telling how they’ll turn out in the long run either way. But with my personal experiences I couldn’t recommend waiting.

YouKnowILoveYou Wed 29-May-19 20:27:31

Doesn't matter when your child is born, if they're going to struggle academically then they will! (I work in a school) I have a December baby and my friend has a September baby and we both found they were more than ready to go to school but obviously had to wait till the following September and became very bored and restless in nursery. My dc complained every day about being too old for the children and nursery and were not a baby so why did they still have to go.

pinkoi Wed 29-May-19 20:28:49

I gamed it perfectly (by accident), #1 was due 5th of sept. Then she arrived 2 weeks early. It's best not to plan too much because it all goes out the window with kids anyway! I'd start trying and see what happens.
DD started school this year - 2 weeks after her 4th birthday. I didn't have to send her full time in reception if I didn't want to, but she was ok with it. She is a bit behind the others but she may well have been like that if she was born any other time. They all figure it out and some get there sooner than others anyway. Also it saved another year of paid child care.

Bottom line, best get on with it as there are so many other factors at play.

Lots of luck

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