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being a little bit crazy

(19 Posts)
Sleepyhead11 Sun 26-May-19 09:49:20

Hello, looking for some advice, but also maybe folk to tell me to chill out, not be so mad.

I am on day 13 on Cycle four. I've gone off much needed medication to ttc and although the alternative is good, the doctors want me to go back on the other one when I have a child (although I'd like to try to bf if we have a baby and that might not be OK with the medication - but that's a whole different issue.)

Normally we have a lazy Sunday in bed together. It is a luxury, I know, but has become our main time to TTC.

DP is helping a friend move house this morning. That's fine. Friend is lovely guy and did the same for us. I asked DP if maybe we can go to bed this afternoon, and he said maybe but maybe not as he has plans this evening, plus he wanted to go for a Sunday afternoon walk with me, which is lovely.

I am now feeling really dashed and sad, as we might be missing another chance. We dtd on Cycle days 10 and 11. Am deliberately not tracking ovulation with temping or sticks as I feel that might make me even more nuts. I just feel really sad and like we've missed the chance again.

Every time we don't conceive I am horribly aware that rheumatology want me to go back on my medication, and that at my next appointment they might press the point more firmly. I know they can't force me, but if it's hugely against medical advice not to be on it, then I would go back on.

Any advice, anyone,please?

rubyroot Sun 26-May-19 10:11:47

I don’t think you’re crazy!

I do think though that you should use ovulation tests, though unlike pregnancy tests the positive has to be the exact colour- I think it’s more likely you’ll get pregnant this way than guessing the right days.

Also, what is wrong with your bloke? You can still go for a walk. It only takes 2 mins to dtd. Perhaps don’t bother going to bed, just sort it before you get your coats on 🤣

lilbubsmama Sun 26-May-19 10:14:05

I agree with using ovulation tests. It means both of you can focus on the highlighted 48ish hours and can be more relaxed the rest of the month. The guessing game is more confusing - I didn't ovulate when 'google' told me I should every month so ovulation and temping were invaluable to me, I'd have missed the boat every month otherwise!

fedup21 Sun 26-May-19 10:14:25

How long a walk does he want to go on?!

I completely agree with you. Is he trying to avoid sex-is ttc having an impact on him?

Sleepyhead11 Sun 26-May-19 10:27:14

@rubyroot and @fedup21 you made me smile. I think the planned walk is about five miles. It's along a pretty cycle/walk way near the flat and goes on until the next major city, though we only ever walk bits of it.

Maybe he is feeling under pressure fedup21 - I think he is a bit, but he has said he wants to ttc.

@lilbubsmama I think you are right, maybe I should take OV tests and focus. I'm a bit scared of becoming obsessive though, and my condition means I drink more water than average, so not sure if they will work?

Thank you all for advice, it's really needed todat

Sleepyhead11 Sun 26-May-19 10:31:47

Dp just messaged me asking me if I want to come for coffee/breakfast near his friend's new flat. Might go.

rubyroot Sun 26-May-19 10:31:59

Can you go behind a bush for a quickie? Water shouldn’t make a difference- I use the cheapies from Amazon. They’re also 69p for five in my local poundstretchers.

rubyroot Sun 26-May-19 10:32:54

Ahhhh you thinking what I’m thinking? Toilets 🤣

Sleepyhead11 Sun 26-May-19 10:35:31

@rubyroot You made me laugh, I love your posts on this thread.

Think I will go and see our friends who are helping the move and then try and convince him to come home to bed. Maybe we can take a meandering route home and that can be our walk.

btw before people ask why I'm not helping with the move, I have a joint disease so would be rubbish at carrying furniture upstairs

Sleepyhead11 Sun 26-May-19 10:42:27

Hmmm, should I go for coffee/breakfast or just potter round the flat until he comes back. I feel like once I am out then DTD today becomes that much less likely.

rubyroot Sun 26-May-19 10:46:38

I think you should have breakfast. It sounds like he’s a bit reluctant to be honest. Whilst you’re out pop and get some ovulation tests. It may be that you haven’t ovulated yet and then there’s still hope for trying.

rubyroot Sun 26-May-19 10:47:32

If he’s gonna dtd it will make little difference will it. He’ll either be willing to stick it in or he won’t. wink

Sleepyhead11 Sun 26-May-19 10:51:56

ahaha, OK, you've convinced me. I will go.

He's less into sex than I am anyway, but it wasn't like this when we were first together.

Sleepyhead11 Sun 26-May-19 11:01:49

Will OV tests still work if I've had a lot of water? I am so clueless about this.

rubyroot Sun 26-May-19 11:46:22

I’m no expert but I don’t see why drinking lots of water would have any effect on the test. Just remember that they will go punk for quite a few day- in my exp 6 or 7 days so the trick is to start testing at like day 11 ( if 28 day cycle) and then you can spot the surge where it should be the same colour as testline. It’s after the surge that you’re most fertile

Sleepyhead11 Sun 26-May-19 19:03:05

Thanks @rubyroot - in the end the local supermarket didn't have any ovulation tests, but we dtd and hoped for the best. Water-y CM and day 13 - so there is a chance, right? Thank you for explaining how the tests work though, I might get some next month. It just felt a bit - almost like it killed some of the chance/magic, however weird that seems, but I want this so badly.

Loti92 Sun 26-May-19 21:00:29

Hi @Sleepyhead11
I’m also under Rheumatology for JIA
When I got pregnant with my daughter I did as they advised and continued me medication, although like you I was also quite anxious to do this. I was then advised to stop taking my medication in my final trimester so it wouldn’t pass on to my daughter and mean she had suppressed immunity when she was born.
I thendecided not to restart my medication after she was born as I wanted to breastfeed. They told me they were ok to take but I was stubborn and didn’t want to listen. I then had the worst flare up and physically couldn’t walk, so I ended up having loads of other drugs as well... but still feeding my 2year old and now taking my regular meds whilst ttc #2.
Basically I’m trying to say don’t push yourself into poor health, you want to enjoy getting pregnant and being pregnant and being a mummy!
Good luck!

Sleepyhead11 Sun 26-May-19 21:16:00

@Loti92 thank you, were you on methotrexate? I am taking Hydroxocloroquinine now which is OK but not as good as MTX and my joints aren't always great. I couldn't take Sulfasalazine as it made me really ill. x

Loti92 Sun 26-May-19 21:46:06

No Iv not had methotrexate for a long time! It mad me so sick.
But I take hydroxycloroquine, sulfazalazine and humira injections. Hopefully you will find something that works for you!
Luckily o was really well during my pregnancy... it was only after birth I struggled... but yiy can have steroid injections if needed! Iv had so many whilst breastfeeding!
My hospital has a specialist clinic joint rheumatology and antenatal so it’s really great support!
I’m hopefulky going to the pre natal clinic soon as I want to be as ok this time around as possible and want support from the very start of pregnancy as I had mc in January.
Does your hospital offer anything similar?

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