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No sex

(7 Posts)
norumpypumpy Fri 20-Jul-07 14:32:35

Hi - DH and I decided a few months ago that we would start trying for a baby, after months of thinking about it etc etc. We have never had the most riotous sex life (well, except at the beginning) as he has a low sex drive and he only ever really initiated sex on Saturday mornings. However, now we are basically barely having sex. I don't want to pressure him into it, but am getting frustrated by his excuses/lack of interest.

i don't think this is him being scared of the responsibility because we have talked about it loads. I really don't know what to do. What I want to do is burst into tears and shout at him for being a selfish b?*stard, but don't think that is the best approach.

anyone been in the same situation? I feel like a freak. BTW - am not worried about him not finding me attractive or sexy.



Elasticwoman Fri 20-Jul-07 16:04:27

Yes. My dh went off sex for a while during the several years we were ttc. It was mainly because he was under enormous pressure at work and studying for a higher degree. Could your dh be under pressure?

jacksma Fri 20-Jul-07 16:14:43

Oh yes my dp would have sex only about once a month so what I did was - thought about when he does want sex (this seemed to coincide with me wearing a skirt), wore a skirt, took him out to dinner where we had a relaxing time and a few drinks (not too many obviously) - I timed all this so we went out when I knew I would be ovulating and hey presto - now only 2 1/2 months to go until the resulting offspring is sprung ...all very underhand but I found attempting to "discuss" the lack of sex totally fruitless and I was becomming more and more frustrated and miserable and resentful - so attempted a less direct approach...Good luck

norumpypumpy Fri 20-Jul-07 16:41:56

Thanks for your replies - its nice to know I am not alone.

Yes, Elasticwoman, he is under pressure at work (as am I) and tends to respond to that by withdrawing into himself and switching off.

Jacksma - I like your style! Unfortunately we both work really hard and I travel for work. l have not started monitoring when I am ovulating but just figure it will be in the middle of my cycle. to be honest i am sick of putting in all the effort, but I think i need to get get over that.


Elasticwoman Fri 20-Jul-07 19:19:02

Could either or both of you work less hard?

Rantmum Fri 20-Jul-07 19:33:44

Are you due a holiday? Could you book a holiday for a couple of weeks somewhere really quiet and relaxing, wind down and just have fun together? Time it with mid-cycle?

Or even a short break at the right time? A weekend in a posh country hotel with nice food and wine?

Elasticwoman Fri 20-Jul-07 20:26:52

Lol Rantmum - skimmed your post and thought you were suggesting a cycling holiday! Men ttc do not need cycling shorts or time in the saddle.

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