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TTC after pregnancy loss - Thread 30 - huddle up and bring on the BFP's

(983 Posts)
Lilimum7 Mon 13-May-19 08:02:20

🐧 🐧 🐧 🐧 🐧 🐧 🐧 🐧 🐧 🐧 🐧 🐧 🐧

Welcome to the 🐧 huddle. This is a wonderful supportive group for anyone ttc after the loss of a pregnancy or baby. Together we can get through the ttc crazyness xx baby dust to everyone xx

AliceRR Sat 29-Jun-19 22:53:14

Thank you. I’m glad today went well @Avocuddles

@Pop1234 Fingers crossed for you too. It’s good you’ve got something to work with

Lilimum7 Sun 30-Jun-19 00:43:01

Ladies it's nearly time to start a new thread. Who wants to do it this time?

Lilimum7 Sun 30-Jun-19 00:46:05

@pinkoi aww hun I know that feeling all roo well. Unfortunately I had a massive wobble today and ended up shouting at DH about the whole thing and it's left things a bit frosty between us now. I really don't know if it will change things for the better either. It never rains but pours

pinkoi Sun 30-Jun-19 01:13:33

@Lilimum7

Sorry to hear it's all come to a head. Perhaps when things calm down you get chance to talk a bit more about it. Perhaps he hadn't realised how much it was getting to you?

@AliceRR

Tried to talk to him the other night but he just started being nasty and calling me desperate and obsessed and was it any wonder he didn't want to have sex with me because I was so upset. Then he started saying that I won't cope with two kids etc and if we had another baby I wouldn't want to have sex any more.

I came back early from my weekend trip so we could spend the evening together tonight and just chill out but he was just cross at everything again, it was like I wasn't there and then he fell asleep on the sofa again.

Basically I think I have killed off our relationship.

Every time I think he is into the idea of TTC, like he talks about babies and names etc it ends up like this. I don't know what is behind all of this, but actions speak louder than words.

I'm just settling down for my second night on the sofa because I'm getting too upset being near him when it feels like he doesn't care if I'm there or not.
I think I may have made a big mistake.

Treaclepie19 Sun 30-Jun-19 07:02:25

Ugh AF is here sad
I'm also worrying because all week I've been seeing something on tests and now I'm worried its something retained from our TFMR.
I'm sure that's ridiculous though since it's been 6 months and the doctor even said if there was I'd be bleeding a lot more often and heavily.

Not sure I'm up to TTC to be honest.

strawberrye Sun 30-Jun-19 07:34:28

Ladies I've made a new thread so please hop on over before this one runs out: https://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/3625424-ttc-after-pregnancy-loss-thread-31-baby-penguins-are-coming

Avocuddles Sun 30-Jun-19 08:07:14

Thanks @strawberrye will pop over now.

Before we relocate though I just want to say @pinkoi you have done nothing wrong so don't beat yourself up about his frankly awful behaviour! I appreciate that TTC can be stressful for both parties and that baby loss
and / or fertility issues can put a big strain on the strongest of relationships, but his behaviour and the things he's said are just cruel. You don't deserve that, his attitude is incredibly selfish and if the reality is that he doesn't really want another child (perhaps simply because he can't take the stress?) then he should have discussed with you in an adult manner, not put you down! I hope that he apologises to you, he really needs to x

AliceRR Sun 30-Jun-19 11:04:22

@pinkoi I agree with Avocuddles but maybe there is stress or something else going on? I know my husband behaves weirdly when stressed but it’s not an excuse to take it out on you. When things have calmed down maybe see if there is something else going on. I do think the men can feel neglected when we’re pregnant / have a baby etc. It’s sh*t when you’re not on the same page anyway or have arguments but when you’re TTC and it’s having an impact on that it can be unbearable. I hope you can get to the bottom of it x

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