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Partner issues

(11 Posts)
Dlah Sun 12-May-19 18:42:27

We're TTC No 2.

Partner has had on and off issues with his manhood, can always get it up but sometimes struggles to keep. Technically we're on cycle 3, however cycle 1 we only managed sex/completion once, cycle 2 he was poorly so no sex at all and now I got my first flashing smiley yday, we had sex (off the cuff, I don't want to add pressure so don't tell him if/when I'm testing) was all going well but then he lost it and couldn't finish. If it's same as last month I'm due to actually ovulate on a Tuesday but I just feel a bit helpless, don't know how I can help him other than be supportive but also feel slightly sad that it might be another month passing us by

Anyone else have similar issues?

Emily878 Sun 12-May-19 19:42:09

Yes we have had this issue lots. Mainly the not being able to finish but I couldn’t really hide when it was my fertile week so the pressure was there. It caused us to stop trying for a while as it was just making us both upset and it meant so many months we couldn’t properly try as we just weren’t successful. It’s hard because you want to be supportive but it makes you feel frustrated too. I feel like we sorted the problem out last month and had our most successful month of trying (not in terms of pregnancy) but DTD.

Dlah Sun 12-May-19 20:23:40

@Emily878 can I ask what/how?

We had similar conceiving our first and I remember (apologies TMi) we tried him getting himself to 'just before' and only actually going inside me when he was about to finish. This did actually work in the sense we managed to keep making it a longer time each time we tried and eventually overcame it.

I just don't want to put the pressure on him sad

Blahbeblah Sun 12-May-19 21:01:41

There are drugs from the Dr which can help, I realise this may be a bit of an issue for him to go.and talk about, but long term it's for the best? Worth a chat maybe?

My OH used to take them, but found when he got over the worry/nerves of whether it would all be ok, he then didn't need them.

Dlah Sun 12-May-19 21:14:52

@Blahbeblah sadly he's a major doctor phobe. Had to take diazepam just to have a blood test, not a chance in hell he'd go!

justchecking1 Mon 13-May-19 13:42:17

You can get viagra via a pharmacy prescription. Boots and Superdrug do it so you don't have to go to the GP

Jeds55 Mon 13-May-19 15:31:24

My partner has similar...he has used a herbal supplement - think it's called Vigostren, and it seems to help...if only as a placebo (think a herbal viagra).It does give him a headache and stuffy nose and bad back though but tell him that's small suffering compared to 9 months of pregnancy! We may try viagra is available over the counter now. I totally understand how frustrating it is though, when there's such little time/chance each month and with my age I can feel time slipping away. Ttc no 2 aswell and only managing to dtd once each month but dont want to pile on the pressure but can feel it building up. Good luck all

Dlah Tue 14-May-19 07:47:44

@Jeds55 yeah he won't take anything unless it's completely necessary. Tried last night and sadly had same problem, I think were out for this month, I don't think he'll want to try again tonight after last nights frustrations.

I do find it sad, I know we've overcome this problem before, he just seems a bit more cagey this time, and like yourself TTC No 2, in not into my 40's yet but I'm not a spring chicken and I have weight going against me also. It's just nice to feel you at least have a chance even if nature decides no but currently that's not happening

Fingers crossed we can get past it soon

Jeds55 Tue 14-May-19 09:06:48

Sorry to hear last night didn't go well. Hope it works out for us all soon - it's a vicious cycle as the more it happens, the more frustrated/angry I get so the more likely it is to happen. Trying to be way more chilled this time round but not really working

EmeraldRubyShark Tue 14-May-19 12:40:19

Maybe you already explored this, but is he definitely on board for wanting another baby as much as you are? Just to rule out any psychological contribution.

We didn’t have this issue thankfully but I did buy a turkey baster in case there were times we didn’t feel like sex but OH could knock one out on his own more quickly, less pressure and easier to just get the job done with porn or whatever. We never ended up having to use it as we caught the first egg as soon as we started trying but we wanted the option in case he wanted to masturbate but I didn’t want any of his semen going to waste 😂 we planned that he would go off alone do his thing into a plastic cup then I’d quickly make use of it. Don’t think the sperm live very long out in the option but I’m sure a fair amount would still have been viable had we got it into me within a minute or so. Is that an option? Many people find it easier to achieve orgasm on their own.

Dlah Tue 14-May-19 22:02:12

@EmeraldRubyShark we have had the conversation over and over, I think sadly it doesn't help that on his latest diabetes check (I will say not majorly overweight but got type 2 last year) he's already a major doctor phobe and in trying to kick him up the bum, the doctor said if you don't get your eating on track you could suffer with erectile dysfunction, and I think he's let it get in his head! I just don't want it to become awkward, and I want him to know it's ok

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