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How to stay mentally healthy while TTC

(12 Posts)
GreytExpectations Tue 07-May-19 11:28:10

Just thought i'd start a thread asking how we can all help ourselves with the stress and anxiety of TTC?

I've only just had my first cycle of actually trying and sadly it ended in a BFN and i was pretty bummed out, even though I'm sure its common for a lot of couples not to conceive the first time. The TWW drove me crazy, I was symptom spotting and googling like crazy. My DH has a much more relaxed approach. He isn't fussed about tracking ovulation, temping, taking specific vitamins or any of that yet. His approach is to keep it relaxed for now and then if still having no luck after 6 months, look into taking a more planned approach iyswim. Overall, I like it. We are dtd a lot and our sex life is great! I do track my ovulation via an app and occasional tests as I believe my cycle is irregular but I also want to keep it relaxed too.

We have 1 more cycle of trying/not using protection and then we are having to take a break for a couple months because we don't want to risk having a baby during a specific planned event next year.

My main point of this thread is what are some ways to keep myself mentally healthy while TTC? I feel like I'm always anxious and stressed and worried something could be wrong. I know this can't be good for either of us and i'd love to relax and just be happy but I want a baby so bad sad Any advice and tips?

Sheep90 Tue 07-May-19 12:22:37

I have the same problem! I'm throwing myself into hobbies that I wouldn't have time to do with a child. I'm only one month into TTC too, so my sensible head knows that it's early days and there's nothing worth worrying about yet. But my irrational head is only seeing failure and isnt sure how to process last month's chemical pregnancy.

So far, I'm throwing myself into the following:
- diet! I need to lose weight but also like controlling what I can control
- hobbies. Making time for them at least a few times a week as I wouldn't be able to do this with a child!
- sleeping properly and for a decent amount of time
- limiting my time on here! It's not always helpful and has really made me overthink things

Hope this helps

Teddybear45 Tue 07-May-19 12:24:42

Exercise helps me.

GreytExpectations Tue 07-May-19 13:26:52

@Sheep90 Great advice! I wish I had some hobbies. I'm really shit at keeping them as my attention span is that of a toddler! Any specific hobbies you'd mind sharing?
Sorry to hear about your chemical pregnancy.

It is early days but I think the fear of having to feel like for for so long is what gets me. As useful as Mumsnet is i do find sometimes this board makes it worse but its so addicting. I probably could do with eating healthier and loosing a bit of weight....

Chanel05 Tue 07-May-19 14:25:07

Definitely try to do something each day to occupy your mind, exercising really helps. It's still very early days and it's normal to take up to 12 months to conceive. For a good 6 months all I could focus on was getting pregnant and it was not successful then after 8 months when I literally thought I didn't care anymore and had given up I fell.

tisonlymeagain Tue 07-May-19 14:29:18

Completely with you @GreytExpectations Last month was my first cycle of trying (for no 3) and I was gutted when AF came, cried for about a day and then picked myself up. I know it's unlikely to happen quickly, I've just come off the pill...I am 39... but the first two times it happened instantly so couldn't help getting caught up in that and the fact we have a deadline of Christmas. Drove myself crazy with symptom spotting and testing constantly from 8dpo. I am going to try to be calmer this cycle, but it's not easy.

GreytExpectations Tue 07-May-19 14:30:14

@Chanel05 sounds awful for you. Can I ask, did you then fall pregnant after 8 months or are you still trying?

I don't know how i'm going to cope for 6 months, let alone a year! Having a child and being a mother is something I knew I wanted since I was a child. Luckily, my DH has always imagined being a father so we are on the same page. Just really hoping that it happens for us.

GreytExpectations Tue 07-May-19 14:32:22

Sorry @Chanel05 I misread your post and see you fell at 8 months TTC!

@tisonlymeagain Lucky that the first 2 happened quickly though! This will be our first so its all a new and scary world out there. Best of luck for trying for your 3rd.

Chanel05 Tue 07-May-19 14:37:07

@GreytExpectations unfortunately I had a mmc and surgery to end the pregnancy last week at 11+3 so now I'm waiting for my fertile week again (lord knows how long away that will be) and am desperate to be pregnant again immediately and from my own experience I know it can take a long time!! Just be kind to yourself thanks

tisonlymeagain Tue 07-May-19 14:42:28

Yes, it was lucky @GreytExpectations but it was a long time ago now! This is also with a new partner, but he also has children so at least in theory our bits are all functional as far we know!

GreytExpectations Tue 07-May-19 14:52:18

So sorry to hear that Chanel05 I hope it all goes well and fingers crossed for you flowers

Yogisunflower91 Thu 09-May-19 19:03:30

Have you tried yoga or mindfulness meditation? I try to practice yoga weekly & meditation daily (sometimes does not always happen) but I find it very beneficial. We are TTC this summer so I will have to let you know if it works for that period in my life. Best of luck on your TTC journey

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