Feeling like a failure.

[OlivePop]

Hi all,

OH and I have been TTC for just over two years now. We were referred to fertility clinic a year ago due to me having irregular periods and had all tests done. We're both fine, nothing untoward to explain why we're finding it hard to conceive. Prior to this I'd been on the pill for 10 years so medical professionals put it down to my body readjusting. They suggested clomid but by then it seemed like my periods were becoming more regular so didn't go down that route.

Fast forward a year and we're still trying. Started using OPKs two months ago, we both gave up drinking in January, our diet is better than ever and I've even changed job recently so I'm not as stressed.

AF turned up today, over a week late and I'm so disappointed. I try not to get my hopes up but I really thought this month was my month. I'm getting so fed up with the emotional rollercoaster of it all and I'm starting to feel like a complete failure.

I just don't know what to do anymore.

[RedPandaFluff]

Hi @OlivePop - I empathise; I've been there and it's soul-destroying.

I know it's hard to see now, but it's actually good that you've had tests and there's nothing obvious wrong. It means that you have eggs, your other half has sperm, and science just needs to help you get the two together and stick!

I found that having a plan really helped - made me feel more purposeful and in control. What are your next steps - are you open to giving clomid a try? IVF, maybe?

[OlivePop]

Thanks @RedPandaFluff, living your life in endless cycles and disappointment feels so mentally punishing at times. It's good to be reminded that we are fortunate to be A-okay health-wise.

I'm really not sure where to go next, particularly as it's been so long since we were referred to the fertility clinic. Should I go back to my GP and go from there again or do you think I can just get back in touch with the clinic? I suppose clomid is the next step since my periods seem to be going haywire again. I'm really open to anything now!

Thanks again for responding, it can be a bit lonely this TTC lark.

[RedPandaFluff]

I'm not sure how the re-referral thing works - it probably depends on the clinic etc. Maybe go back to your GP first and see what they say about next steps.

The other thing I'd recommend is having a look at the infertility boards on here - I've had so much support from these over the past couple of years; you'll be able to find people in the exact same situation as you (sadly!) and it really helps to share experiences and tactics. TTC can be very lonely and isolating, so having a network of people who understand what you're going through can be really helpful.

Good luck! 💐