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DH making us wait to TTC

(17 Posts)
fancytea Mon 29-Apr-19 11:56:51

Hello smile I'm a newbie but long time lurker!

I'm 27, no kids, been with DH for 11 years, married for 5. Were almost starting to TTC- weve agreed to start in June. But I'm super broody and cant understand why were waiting! I've spoken to DH and hes explained his reasons (couple reasons- wont go into details but sort of reasonable) but through my broodiness fug I just cant understand. I'm making myself really miserable- reading websites about pregnancy and conception constantly, crying all the time, just being difficult to be around. I have 6 young nieces and it's hard work being around them, I get upset that were not trying yet. I realize how ridiculous this is bc its only a couple months but still!

Anyone in the same boat? I'd love tips on how to be happy for the next 7 weeks or so (and some reassurance that I've not been posessed- who is this person and what has she done with the old me???) TIA!

MrsEG Mon 29-Apr-19 12:07:54

Don’t worry - if DH is refusing to budge on June there are still plenty of things you can be doing to get yourself ready! You can start taking a conception vitamin (Pregnacare or Seven Seas), ensure you’re eating well and exercising etc. Are you planning on using apps and ovulation sticks etc to track your fertile weeks? We also use Preseed fertility lubricant, which you can buy on Amazon. You can be setting those types of things up to get ready. Just getting your ducks in a row will hopefully make the time pass!

It may be worth telling DH of course that there’s no garuntee you’ll fall on your first try, and some couples take months - however, it can of course still happen (and did for my sister!) - so if you’re having to compromise on the dates I would just spend a few weeks getting yourself all ready to go! You most certainly have age on your side at 27 too, so don’t fret if it doesn’t happen immediately smile

Good luck for June smile

Pip001 Mon 29-Apr-19 13:38:56

Hi I’m in the same boat, slightly older 31, married 8 years and waiting until the end of June as going on holiday with a few friends to Ibiza grin hopefully it will be my last all inclusive drinking holiday for a while!

June is only 8 weeks away and the time will fly by. I’m intending to spend this time going out for dinner, meeting friends for drinks, going to a spa and generally doing all the things that in a few months time I (hopefully) won’t be able to do! I totally love smoked salmon and cream cheese bagals so definitely making the most of the next few weeks!

When are you going to start taking the vitamins? Have you chosen which ones to take?

I’m happy to be a waiting buddy with you! If you can think of anything to add to my pre-TTC bucket list let me know. smile

Cupcakes1234 Mon 29-Apr-19 14:59:37

Hi @fancytea I'm 27 too. 1 child who is 2 and a half. I'm desperate to try for baby no2 but my partner hasn't budged but finally I have come off my pill (after speaking to him about it) we have decided that we aren't trying but aren't preventing. Have you come off contraception now? I'm just having my withdrawal bleed now so I'll need to wait for all that to be done with before I know what my cycles will be like. June isn't too far away now though!

Peanutty86 Mon 29-Apr-19 15:15:24

This could've been me 2 years ago, but we both decided to wait until after our wedding.
I was obsessed with ttc so decided to keep myself busy.
I came off the pill on April to clear my body of hormones and started temping to get to know my cycle which was very irregular.
We'd been practicing FAM to avoid successfully and I learned sooo much from it. There's a book called "taking charge of your fertility" by Toni Weschler which was my bible. My cycles were incredibly long so I took natural remedies to shorten them etc., had healthy smoothies every morning, bought sperm friendly lube,...
I also did ovulation sticks just for fun. Once the wedding was over (end of September) we decided it was go time and I fell pregnant first cycle. Our little one is almost 10 months old and I'm finding myself missing ttc. 🙈

Cupcakes1234 Wed 08-May-19 17:41:21

@Peanutty86 wow! Congratulations that sounds really clever. Until I had my first I didn't know much about how fertility etc works but it's very interesting! Are you planning a second anytime? X

Ginger1982 Wed 08-May-19 18:46:04

I think you need to take a chill pill. It's only a few weeks! If you're lucky you'll get pregnant quickly, if not you'll have to get used to months and months, maybe years, of frustration and disappointment. If you can't handle waiting a few weeks to start, how are you going to potentially handle that?

Peanutty86 Wed 08-May-19 19:58:39

@Cupcakes1234 I would love at least one more but can't make up my mind what age gap I would like. I'm not sure I could handle two under 3 and having the toddler all day as well as a baby. Our lo is very needy and wouldn't be put down or sleep anywhere but on me for the first 6 months. His sleep is still crap and right now all I want is a less disturbed night 🙈

Peanutty86 Wed 08-May-19 19:59:30

@Ginger1982 that was an unnecessary comment.

Ginger1982 Wed 08-May-19 20:05:29

@Peanutty86 why?

Peanutty86 Wed 08-May-19 20:41:39

Because suggesting someone "take a chill pill" isn't very nice. And the topic is about the wait to be actively trying, not being actively trying and nothing happening. Most people are aware that it can take a long time but the anticipation of starting can be hard.
Not saying you're not right, but I'm sure that's not what this post was about.

Ginger1982 Wed 08-May-19 22:41:51

Ok then...the OP, in my humble opinion, is stressing about something which in the grand scheme of things, isn't worth stressing about. It's not like he's making her wait years!

physicskate Thu 09-May-19 08:45:54

Additionally, I wish I'd known it was super normal for it to take a year or more. My dh made me wait a year, till we bought a house. He thought it would happen straight away. It didn't.

It really isn't talked about enough and many people are conditioned to think sex = immediate pregnancy, when that just isn't so!!

So getting worked up before ttc is something that's familiar to me (I did it!), but ultimately unhelpful.

Lose weight and try to enjoy this month. And keep up with weight loss while ttc!! It can seriously help getting pregnant faster.

UCOinanOCG Thu 09-May-19 08:49:50

We married young and at around age 24/25 i became very broody but DH said we had to wait, mostly so we could get to a point where we could afford for me to be a SAHM. I had DD1 when i was 28 and it was absolutely the right thing to do. We still struggled a bit financially but it would have been impossible any sooner.

firstimemamma Thu 09-May-19 09:10:28

Do you mean June this year? That's not far away at all now!

I used to be desperately broody and one thing that helped me was to try and change my perspective and remind myself how lucky I am as some people can't have their own children ever.

Maybe use the rest of this month to concentrate on health and fitness. That's what I did before ttc and it helped me out a lot mentally as I felt as if we were already on the path towards making a baby if that makes sense.

I know everyone is different so so sorry if these suggestions haven't helped.

Good luck op, June will soon be here thanks

fancytea Fri 10-May-19 09:52:30

Thanks for all the replies! I do know I need to chill about it, which is why I posted on here asking for advice on how to do that! smile

I have been eating healthily and exercising, taking vitamins etc, but believe it or not I hadn't actually thought of a bucket list! So I'm now planning on having some smoked salmon and cream cheese bagels this weekend, soft boiled eggs, pâté, sushi... (not all together though hopefully)! And having a sneaky look at hot tub holidays...

physicskate Fri 10-May-19 10:36:11

If you're in the uk, you can still eat all those things while pregnant (except pate)...

Raw fish must first be frozen before it's sold to be eaten raw. The freezing process kills parasites...

The uk chicken flock is free from salmonella. As long as the eggs are red lion stamped, the yolks can be runny because the risk of salmonella has been removed.

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