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Siblings with close birthdays?

(23 Posts)
MMama18 Mon 22-Apr-19 14:34:25

DH and I are starting TTC DC#2, however if we start this month the due date looks to be around 20th Jan. This doesn’t seem to bother DH (he works, I’m SAHM) but it worries me a bit.
DD birthday is 31st Jan and she was 4 weeks early. My birthday is early November, DH is early December and then there’s obviously Christmas plus 6 other family birthdays all within those few months too. Am I going to regret having DC#2 in such a busy time? What are your experiences with DC with close birthdays or birthdays close to Christmas? (As if DC#2 is early as DD was it could even be a Christmas baby!)
Would you miss a month of TTC to get a Feb due date? (However early baby could still mean Jan birthday...!!!)
Or should I just stop overthinking this and try not to plan every finite part of my life 😫😂

Kinsters Mon 22-Apr-19 15:25:54

I share my birthday with my twin sister and my little brothers birthday is four days after that. It was never a big deal growing up and I didn't mind at all.

Now I'm an adult and my FIL's birthday is the day after mine and DH's is the day after that so there are five in my immediate family who all have birthdays in the same week!

If I were you I wouldn't stress about it, you can't really plan these things.

FaithEloise Mon 22-Apr-19 15:40:50

My daughters is end of November.. My Partner is beginning of December.. im currently pregnant and due end of December (2 days before christmas).. and my son is beginning of February.. so we have a very busy and expensive end/beginning of the year🙄😂.. it will be what it will be, you make it work.. somehow🙈😘 xx

Tiredmum100 Mon 22-Apr-19 15:45:28

Other than my husband everyone I know seems to have birthdays around Christmas. Both my dc, mum, dad, sister, and friends all have birthdays between October and Jan. It's fine!

Shelbybear Mon 22-Apr-19 15:45:46

It doesn't really work like that though. Chances of getting pregnant in first month are very slim so I wouldn't stress. If it bothers you then wait another month. I don't see the big deal with u and ur dh birthdays being close to the kids it's not the same.

I can see ur point re kids birthdays being close and with Xmas too but put money away each month and then it doesn't seem like too much all at once.

WeTookVows Mon 22-Apr-19 15:47:02

It's fine. Can't imagine it ever having been a consideration tbh.

In my family, we have my mum, dad, both my brothers, DH and 3 of my DC (plus my only Aunt and cousins all have theirs then too) within the 8 week period after Christmas. There's still plenty of time to celebrate individual birthdays - albeit lower key for the adults. I certainly would not postpone my ttc plans because of it.

JurassicGirl Mon 22-Apr-19 15:54:41

My ds's are 2yrs & 4 days apart.

Slightly tricky as now they're 8 & 6 they both have parties (offered them a joint one but neither were keen so have stuck with 2 different ones) so some years it's 1 on the first weekend & the another the following weekend. Once it was first on Saturday & second on Sunday - that was hard work!

Also displaying birthday cards/decorations etc is done carefully & fairly. They don't take much notice but I do.

If I was doing again I would leave another month or two BUT it's fine & we all enjoy that month (but plan for it carefully).

MMama18 Mon 22-Apr-19 16:33:24

Shelbybear I was saying that it’s expensive having all our birthdays in three consecutive months plus Christmas in amongst all that.

I know the chances of getting pregnant first time are slim, but it has happened to me three times, the first two ending in MC and then my DD, so I am having to consider it might happen a fourth time.

RudyRoo Mon 22-Apr-19 16:36:49

@MMama18 I really think you're overthinking it. For me, I would be absolutely overjoyed to conceive at any month and at any time. I'm sure you're a lovely person and meant no disrespect but I find this a little insensitive, as if it really matters. A lot of the women on this conception group are struggling to conceive at all and I really don't think it is something to be picky about!

Mammyloveswine Mon 22-Apr-19 16:39:51

My husband, his brother, sil, myself and my sister all have birthdays within a week of each other.

I have 2 January babies, memorably ds2 came on a day out to the farm to celebrate ds1 turning 2... ds2 was 3 days old 🙈.

Its fine! Will be doing joint parties from next year on so will save a bit grin

Easterbunnynearlyhere Mon 22-Apr-19 16:45:22

I have 2 in Jan, 2 the same day in June, 2 in Sept, 2 in November and dd +dh in December!

MMama18 Mon 22-Apr-19 16:50:09

@RudyRoo I don’t mean at all to be insensitive. I have posted both in conception and parenting so as to attract advice from people who both have children with close birthdays and people who are TTC to see if it’s something other people consider.

Clearly it isn’t something that you consider important but it’s been bothering me because once a child has a birthday I can’t change it can I! 😅

As I said above this would be my 4th pregnancy and the other three times I have got pregnant on the first try, so while I appreciate that I have been very lucky in one sense that I have gotten pregnant easily (two of my pregnancies ended in MC so not so lucky there) and it might be upsetting to others, that is my experience so I’m prepared for it to happen again.

RudyRoo Mon 22-Apr-19 16:57:21

@MMama18 I understand. I suppose I find it difficult to read without commenting as I am being totally over sensitive right now, so apologies for that. Frustrations of TTC. 🙄 hope it all works out the way you want and best of luck.

MMama18 Mon 22-Apr-19 17:09:50

@RudyRoo I’m sorry you’re struggling right now, I can’t even begin to imagine the stress and upset of TTC over and over again. I’m sorry if I upset you further, I really didn’t mean to!
I guess I’m getting anxious now it’s so close, I’m definitely an over thinker/over planner and it seems worse this time because I’m worried about taking the shine off DD birthday.
Part of why I’m asking is to justify that I’m not the only crazy lady who thinks about these things, my DH keeps reminding me that people must not be bothered because there’s still so many people born Nov-Jan so it can’t be that bad 😅
I think part of me also thinks it can’t possibly happen straight away for a fourth time, and I see all these ladies TTC heartbroken on MN every month and I’m scared!

MrsEG Mon 22-Apr-19 17:20:31

There’s only just over a year between myself and my sister, and also my dads birthday is 2 weeks before mine, and mums one week before that. We’ve always loved it! Yes Mum did say it could get expensive especially as we got older but she’d save all year for it, our birthdays never changed so she could always plan for it!! We love being so close in age too, we grew up extremely close. I wouldn’t fret - there’s pros and cons to everything!

Bambamber Mon 22-Apr-19 17:21:34

It may be expensive having them all bunched together, but you'd have the rest of the year to save money and spread the cost. So you wouldn't be spending any more money than if they were spread out, just need to save

bananasandwicheseveryday Mon 22-Apr-19 18:07:50

Personally, I wouldn't worry. In our wider family there are several examples of siblings having just a few days between birthdays, there are a few parent/child on consecutive days and clusters of family birthdays within a month. I share my birthday with three other family members! The thing is, if you know no different, you just accept it and enjoy the shared /almost shared celebrations.

Bonkersblond Mon 22-Apr-19 18:17:31

My DC are 4 years and 2 days apart, never bothered me, DS was 6 years in the making after IVF and DD conceived naturally after we thought DS would be our only child. I guess not everyone can plan these events, luckily they have summer birthdays, so every 6 months we either have Christmas or birthday celebrations.

NicksWife08 Mon 22-Apr-19 18:24:01

Mine and my brother's birthday is a week apart. We have another sibling in the same month too and our others are in another month but just 4 days apart.
My own children have birthdays a month apart and are November and December. December one is exactly 3 weeks before Christmas, he was due Christmas Eve. DH's birthday is just after Christmas. In my opinion it's fine as it gets them all over and done with smile

MMama18 Mon 22-Apr-19 18:30:16

@NicksWife08 I never thought of it that way, get it all out of the way and then have a year to save again 🙄

Thanks for everyone’s replies, I know it’ll happen when it happens but I feel better now that so many people make it work, and are not bankrupt or stressed to the max!

RudyRoo Mon 22-Apr-19 18:37:47

@MMama18 not at all, I re-read the message I sent you and realised it may have sounded rather harsh. TTC with no success (yet!🤞🏼) does mentally take its toll but shouldn't detract from other people's happiness and journeys and planning! I think we are all a little crazy when it comes to TTC and thinking for the future. I wish I could be as chilled out as my DH - these bloody hormones! 😂

Bumply Mon 22-Apr-19 18:54:20

My boys are 4 years and 2 weeks apart, both Feb.
Means there's no perceived unfairness of one having eg winter birthday and another having summer with better potential for days out.
When they were little I could get away with a joint birthday party between the two dates.
Younger son wasn't so likely to get jealous of older brother getting presents/treats when he knew his was only days away.

MMama18 Mon 22-Apr-19 20:01:50

@RudyRoo Thank you, I’m always worried about posting on MN as you see so many posters get slaughtered! Things can easily be taken the wrong way but I’d hate to think I came across as insensitive or disrespectful! And men definitely don’t get the ‘crazy’ when it comes to TTC. I’m getting all into my OPK and pineapple core/pomegranate juice (what I did with DD) and he just laughs at me!

@Bumply I like the idea of joint parties when they’re little, and then i guess it’d be easier as they got older to take one or two friends out for dinner/cinema or sleepovers for their separate birthdays, that’s one worry I feel better about! And I understand what you mean about jealousy around opening presents, I’d never considered that either.

I’ve now gone the other way and think it’d be a good thing to have their birthdays close together! Argh!!! 😂

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