If he's left me will NHS help?(10 Posts)
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First time posting & desperate for some advice.
My partner and I were referred by GP for fertility testing in late Jan as we were struggling to conceive over 1 yr. We have been going through the initial tests to discover if there is a problem. I've had the ultrasound scans and dye injection tests- All fine.
My partner was due to do the sperm sample test required by him and then we were to wait for a further appointment to discuss all the test results.
But then bombshell last week- he's left me, he isn't convinced he wants a child now and is leaving before we make a mistake. I'm devastated by his choice.
Will the hosp fertility clinic continue to assess me now? Will the NHS system allow me to continue on the journey now I'm single? Or will they say if you're not a couple anymore they can't continue and I'll be no more aware of any fertility obstacles I face on my own? At least if I could discover what my problem is I would be in a better position if I find another partner in the future.
Any help would be great.
Sorry I can’t help at all but just wanted to say I’m sorry you’re in this situation! Have a virtual hug xxx
Unfortunately the NHS won't let you continue now and there are different rules in place for single people. You have to have had a least 6 (I think - could be more) failed IUIs which you've paid for privately using donor sperm before you can be referred for NHS help
Also there is no guarantee that the problem lies with you - your partner could very well be the problem (50% or more fertility problems are male factor)
You could pay for any further tests to be done privately - they're really not that expensive - the NHS will only really do FSH AMH and maybe day 21 progesterone anyway - you can get those all done for a couple of hundred quid in a private clinic x
Have you had the blood tests yet? Usually the GP does some before referring you, but the hospital might also test for AMH (marker for egg quality). If these and the dye test (which checks the fallopian tubes are clear) are all fine, then they usually won’t recommend any further tests for you.
I expect they will be happy to see you to discuss your results alone if you haven’t had the blood test results back yet, but if it was only the sperm test they were waiting for then you might already have your answers. I’m really sorry this has happened to you.
The NHS rules for single people vary across the country. Some CCGs fund fertility treatment for single women, most don't. I know lots of single women who had their fertility testing on the NHS before paying for their own treatment. You could find out the rules for the CCG who fund services where you live, or probably better to ask the fertility clinic... you might also find they agree to finish your tests because you are already accepted as a patient. Good luck
If the tests for you have be ok so far, you could try donor insemination which isn't that expensive (you need basic ovulation kit plus order from a catalogue). If it works it was him!
Cynical me thinks he knows the problem is his any chance he has had the snip?
I was wondering the same.
How old is he? Do you think he's already aware there is a problem? It seems odd if he left you because he's not sure he actually wants DC now. Any other reason he left?
So sorry for you, what a horrible situation. I was also wondering if he already knows there is a problem on his side and that's why he has reacted like this.
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