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Anyone TTC in a second marriage/relationship?

(34 Posts)
tisonlymeagain Mon 08-Apr-19 09:58:36

Just wondering if anyone here was in the same boat?

About to start TTC our first child together, we are late 30's and both have children from our previous marriages.

squidge2010 Mon 08-Apr-19 14:55:11

Both mid 30s here and I have 1dc, DP has 2dc.

Only on cycle 2 of ttc but already wondering how to tell the kids and the exes.

One of the exes I'm sure will be fine (probably not thrilled but ambivalent) about it but fully expecting the other to kick off in a dramatic way.

The 3 children are all so different that I have no clue how any of them would take it.

Whyhaveidonethis Mon 08-Apr-19 15:49:30

I'm Ttc my #4 and my DP's #2. We are both early 40s and on cycle 7.

tisonlymeagain Mon 08-Apr-19 20:30:45

Hi both.

@squidge2010 . Similar situation, one will be 'okay' the other is going to go lunar. I'm actually dreading that bit for the amount of grief that is going to come our way. The children...again, who knows. I can't call it either.

@Whyhaveidonethis Good luck - how do you think your children will react?

I'm a little worried that they'll be peeved that this new child gets to live with me full time and they don't - like I've not chosen THEM if it makes sense.

Aside from that I am really excited to be TTC with my DP but trying not to get my hopes up too much.

Whyhaveidonethis Mon 08-Apr-19 22:40:59

@tisonlymeagain my kids would love another dc in the house. Well the younger two. The oldest is 18 so will probably be mortified!!grin

Mikeyjayne2018 Tue 09-Apr-19 12:22:05

Can I join this thread please ? I'm 37 TTC first child with my partner. We both have 2 children each (live with my 2 boys 7 and 15)
We lost a baby on 13th March just gone at 14 weeks we were heartbroken. Still very raw but trying again as my age is freeing up.
I love to hear of other women in same position with 'patchwork' Families. 😊 my ex will probably be fine, my partners ex will probably be a little awkward as she lives 2.5 hours with his son and feels he's not priority, which is completely fair. But we love him very much and have him every weekend with my boys driving 5 hours round trip. So hopefully all will come good with consistency and commitment.
Really hoping for BFP very soon. AF due 10-13th so tomrmro. I've had lots of symptoms so just trying too stay positive. Good luck ladies 💗

Starlight39 Tue 09-Apr-19 12:41:42

Hello! Can i join too?

So sorry to hear about your loss Mikeyjayne2018.

Sending everyone loads of positive vibes for this month!

I'm 39, DP is 44. I have a 7 year old DS, DP doesn't have any kids (yet!). I'm on CD7 of my second cycle. I ovulated last month the day after having the copper coil out and was still bleeding slightly so I'm not sure if last month was even really possible.

DP is really excited and happy that we're TTC so that's lovely and reassuring - my ex got cold feet after I got pregnant despite saying a definite yes to trying so I'm a bit anxious even though I know DP would never ever do that.

I think DS will be half pleased to have a sibling and half a bit jealous that a new baby would get to be with me all the time (having said that he might be pleased to escape to his Dad's!). We're really close so I hope he takes it OK.

Mikeyjayne2018 Tue 09-Apr-19 13:54:39

@Starlight39 thank you for your kind words, we've had a tough few weeks 😣 but much better as time passes.
My partner is the same, I think more excited than me and that's saying something.
My boys will escape to their dads for some peace I know they'll love a baby sibling but it's nice to have the time out too. Best of both !
Good luck lovely 😊

tisonlymeagain Tue 09-Apr-19 14:07:58

Hi @Mikeyjayne2018 So sorry for your loss, hope you are recovering okay. Stay positive, and have everything crossed for you.

Hi @Starlight39. I am also 39. This will be my first cycle of TTC and I am so anxious now. I got pregnant really easily with both my children but just don’t see it happening so quick this time for some reason.

It’s nice to talk to other people in the same situation, as I obviously can’t talk to anyone IRL at the moment!

Mikeyjayne2018 Tue 09-Apr-19 14:17:30

@tisonlymeagain how lovely thank you. Wishing you so much luck too, I feel the same too about feeling like a may have a wait on my hands.

MissBridgetJones Tue 09-Apr-19 15:03:31

Please can I join too? We have been TTC for yonks, DP has 2 DC, I don't have any - his ex will not take it well I fear... his DD is keen, his DS couldn't care less wink

Starlight39 Tue 09-Apr-19 15:08:32

@Mikeyjayne2018 glad it feels a little better as time passes. Yes, so true that the kids will be able to escape to their Dad's for some peace!

Hi @tisonlymeagain and fellow 39-er! I also have the anxiety a bit about how long it'll take. It's the 2 week wait that stresses me out most.

My DP works away a bit during the week so he may have to make a few emergency trips home which is also adds to the worry as it means a bit more work predicting ovulation etc.

Fingers crossed it'll happen really quickly for all of us and maybe we can all try and stay positive together.

tisonlymeagain Wed 10-Apr-19 09:17:21

Hi @MissBridgetJones and welcome!

Yes @Starlight39 I am trying to remain positive as much as possible. We’ve decided to just give it until Xmas, if it’s meant to be it will be. I don’t want to drive myself crazy for years.

tisonlymeagain Tue 16-Apr-19 11:53:39

How are we all doing ladies? I am CD13 today and waiting to ovulate, no idea when but testing with OPKs daily and nada, not even a hint so far!

Starlight39 Tue 16-Apr-19 13:06:41

Hi! Good luck @tisonlymeagain, hope the OPKs pick up ov soon! Do you know when you normally ovulate?

I'm CD14 today and normally ovulate CD19 which is Easter Sunday. My DS is with his Dad this weekend so plenty of opportunities for sex!

I went away with DS and DP over weekend and came back yesterday but he's now working away till Thursday evening then he's home so hopefully we should be covered as long as I don't ovulate earlier than usual. I'm doing OPKs (looks to be gearing up as I had a faint line yesterday) and temping.

tisonlymeagain Tue 16-Apr-19 15:42:16

No @Starlight39 because I've been on the pill for a year but cycles prior to that were 28-35 days. However just done an OPK and this has come up. Doesn't mean I'm ovulating yet but I think it should mean that somethings happening?? I don't really know! Switching to the ClearBlue Digital ones tomorrow

Starlight39 Tue 16-Apr-19 18:08:41

@tisonlymeagain, I'd say that is your body gearing up for ovulation but will be a few days yet (that's based on me anyway!). Hope tomorrow's is a little darker for you.

My OPK yesterday was similar and I tend to get darker and darker test lines till one that is as dark as the control line (or part of it is as dark - sometimes the test line has a skinny dark strip and the rest of the line is paler).

tisonlymeagain Tue 16-Apr-19 20:22:15

Hmmm I just did another and got a much lighter one, questionable if there's even a line (see TTC after Cerazette thread, can't add any more pics£ now I'm not sure at all. Hopefully will start seeing some progress over the next few days

alphabetti Tue 16-Apr-19 21:11:05

Myself and my partner are TTC. I have a DD and DS and my partner a DS. I’m 35 so feel the pressure of my age - there will be a big age gap as mine are 15 and 12yrs and my partners DS is 5. Started trying in August and conceived straight away but had an early miscarriage at 6wks. Starting to feel bit frustrated now but guess need to stay patient.

My children’s father is out of the picture (he hasn’t even seen them for 5yrs) so he won’t be an issue. Partners ex is not likely to take the news very well as she seems to have issues with everything but hopefully she will think it is a positive that her DS will have a sibling.

Starlight39 Wed 17-Apr-19 10:32:13

Sorry to hear about your miscarriage, @alphabetti. Good luck! That sounds tricky with partner's ex. I think my ex might be a bit awkward but hopefully he'll surprise me!

@tisonlymeagain ah, that's a bit confusing! I think the luteneizing (sp?!) hormone that the OPK tests for peaks in the afternoons so that might be why the difference. Or less concentrated wee??! I tend to test just once a day at the same time so there's a direct comparison. I am also temping this month just to double check that I have ovulated as with OPKs, you can gear up to ov, giving a positive test but at the last minute your body decides not to and tries again a couple of days later. Or you can miss the surge and think you haven't when you actually have.

tisonlymeagain Wed 17-Apr-19 13:58:51

Sorry to hear that @alphabetti, but hoping for some good news for you very soon.

@Starlight39 Today's was a bit darker, the ClearBlue was negative but the basic OPK strip was a bit darker than it was yesterday afternoon, so fingers crossed things are going in the right direction!

tisonlymeagain Thu 18-Apr-19 07:56:58

My ClearBlue OPK has a solid smiley this morning shock which means it's on!

Starlight39 Thu 18-Apr-19 08:36:52

@tisonlymeagain good luck 😁😁!!

My opk yesterday was more pale so not sure why! Temp was a bit higher this morning but possibly because DS was in bed with me after a bad dream. So confusing but I’m trying not to worry, dp is back today so we will just have sex every day and hope for the best.

tisonlymeagain Thu 18-Apr-19 08:59:56

That's pretty much what we've been doing, my app says I should OV tomorrow, so will have sex today but we've done it three days this week already!

Starlight39 Wed 24-Apr-19 11:19:14

How is everyone doing?

I think I worked out I actually must have ovulated on day 14/15 which is weird since previously (when last TTC 8 years ago) it was day 19/20! Anyway, that makes me 7 days ish post ov. It also means timing wasn't ideal (I think we DTD 2 days before ov) as DP was working away. Still, we're in with a chance and it does mean I'll be readier for it next month so I'm feeling pretty positive.

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