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Jealousy of others who have announced pregnancies

(21 Posts)
Olivebrach Mon 01-Apr-19 22:05:46

I'm feeling pretty shit after finding out my SIL is pregnant. I feel really jealous of her which I know is awful but i cant help it sad

I just feel annoyed like it should be us. Her and her DH haven't even been in a good place and are always arguing.

Does anyone else ever feel this when people announce their pregnancies.

I know i should probably be happy for them but it is just upsetting.

Cant help that I probably have PMS from my oncoming period which is due and we have been trying unsucessivly since August!

Lammoshay Mon 01-Apr-19 22:20:51

Yep!!!! I’m with you, and I’m not bothered in saying it’s pissing me off.
I’m only 3 months in, but fuck my life ever since I’ve been trying every other fucker around me is getting pregnant 🤰
Sorry not sorry! 😫😳🤯🤭🥴🙊🙈

Olivebrach Mon 01-Apr-19 22:33:44

lammoshay aww im glad im not the only one!

I keep telling myself that it will happen when it happens and i need to stop comparing myself to others but yea. Its yea im more just annoyed rn

Keyboard91 Tue 02-Apr-19 11:34:22

I hear you. I’m TTC #1, about 6 months in. Have a miscarriage at 6 weeks in Feb so I’m doubly frustrated at people when they announce - even though I know they may have been trying for ages or experienced a loss ... I feel like a bit of a b** really.

I keep cursing at the TV too when people have babies or a baby advert comes on, much to the amusement of my DP!

crazyfools Tue 02-Apr-19 12:55:14

Yup same here even the MNetters on the Conception page are making me angry at the moment posting pictures of blatantly positive pregnancy tests and asking if they are real! 😬😬

To add to my shit week (and it's only aTuesday) someone asked me if I was pregnant yesterday - I actually thought I'd lost weight lately! Laughed it off and then went home and cried!

EL8888 Tue 02-Apr-19 12:57:36

Yep! Like you l have been trying since August and nothing. In the meantime, everyone we know seems to get pregnant with zero effort. That’s not even me being a bitch -last 2 freely admitted it happened immediately for them

Dramaqueen14 Tue 02-Apr-19 13:39:29

Yip, I hear you! Been trying since June 2018, with a miscarriage at 11 weeks in September. Nothing since and I’m fed up. To top it off one of the girls I work with is pregnant. I think your feelings are normal x

Essexgirlupnorth Tue 02-Apr-19 13:48:19

Me too had a miscarriage in January that took 2 years to conceive and now on cycle two of trying again. I do have a 5 year old but she would love a sibling
An friend who already has two kids and announced on Mother's day she is pregnant with twins and another friend who was adamant she wants having any kids is pregnant with her first. Also one of my colleagues is pregnant with an unplanned third due the same time the baby I miscarried would have been and that feels like salt in the wound every day

Olivebrach Tue 02-Apr-19 14:05:49

So sorry keybord dramaqueen and essexgirlupnorth about your misscarriges sad. Thats the thing isnt it even if you get a positive test anything could still happen.

Its so hard to not be jealous! But i know my feelings of hatred jealousy towards them is just a reflection of myself! I cant even stop thinkin about them though!!

Yea i have another son too essexgirl and i feel like im failing him by not being able to give him a sibling. im lucky in that i make sure he sees family a lot but hes got to a point where he is upset when they leave/we leave and i feel like he would love a brother or sister sad

Olivebrach Tue 02-Apr-19 14:06:54

Has anyone told others they are TTC? Some our family know we would like to have another 'at some point' but if im honest i feel embarressed admitting my true feelings about it all cause its not happening

EL8888 Tue 02-Apr-19 15:01:13

Yes. Not sure if that was a wise move in hindsight confused. My partner and l are both upfront people. But lm ground down by other people’s stupid comments. A few weekends we were told “it’s just one of those things, you could adopt”. I have nothing against adoption but l would like some tact!

EL8888 Tue 02-Apr-19 15:03:05

@Essexgirlupnorth loving your name! I’m a northern girl who now lives in Essex funnily enough

Essexgirlupnorth Tue 02-Apr-19 16:30:26

We hadn't told anyone we were TTC before the miscarriage though we stupidly told our family about the pregnancy at Christmas before we had my scan so I guess they will think we are trying again.

crazychemist Tue 02-Apr-19 17:07:56

@Olivebrach, DH and I have been ttcing no#2 for a few cycles, definitely not going to tell family. Several of them have asked probing questions as the potential sibling gap is getting larger, but we aren’t discussing it.

I think it’s hard for the whole family if they know unless you/they are comfortable talking about it very openly. Otherwise it just gets awkward as it’s hard for them to ask you about it, but they feel like they should to show that they care by asking.

Definitely jealous of other people’s announcements. So many of my NCT group have had their second one. I know I’m being a little bit ridiculous as I have my DD, but I’d so love to give her a sibling. I feel very aware of the gap getting wider, and although they could still hopefully have a good relationship I know it won’t be the same as if they were close in age.

Lau00 Tue 02-Apr-19 17:23:47

Been trying since April 2017, so two years now with two miscarriages. SIL is also pregnant (I am happy for them but I went home and cried when I found out). I would have been due sept 19 if I hadn't miscarried and a good friend of mine is due Oct 19 which frustrated me. Just seems like it's not fair (don't even care if that sounds childish haha)!

Paigemorrow00 Tue 02-Apr-19 17:47:41

I feel you on another level. When I see someone else announce their pregnancy I think to myself.. but they don't have a job, they haven't been with their partner for that long, they didn't even try for that baby.. whilst I'm over here praying every month AF doesn't come. I'm not even ashamed to say it pisses me off!! I physically cannot congratulate my friends. So I hear you. Xx

jmc96 Tue 02-Apr-19 18:55:15

So with you all !! We've been trying for just over a year and there has been 6 pregnancy announcements from our close family members within that time!! Last one I actually had a mental breakdown, cried for hours!

I've been referred to the infertility clinic , so hopefully we don't have much longer to wait!

Michellebops Tue 02-Apr-19 22:20:55

How about a "friend" announcing in a group chat she's pregnant on Mother's Day. She's 25 weeks!!!

Been in all our company at different points over the last 6 months and never mentioned it. Clearly hid it well.

I had a miscarriage in October and she was bloody horrible to me so I've childishly not congratulated her and muted the chat 😂

namechange3858383572 Tue 02-Apr-19 22:38:06

I understand OP it took us two years to have our DD. I remember feeling like everyone was just getting pregnant. However you often don't realise what's been going on behind closed doors. For lots of couples it takes a while.
I also experienced it the other way I was heartbroken when I learnt a close family member had apparently 'gone mad' upon finding out I was pregnant. She had apparently been trying for 6 months and assumed we didn't even want children. She did not know obviously we had been trying so I tried to be understanding but it was too emotional for me and I still have resentment towards her reaction. (She now has a baby herself).

Olivebrach Wed 03-Apr-19 20:19:09

Thanks for the understanding everyone.

michellebops sorry about your misscarrige, i always think id love to be one of them people who dont tell people until quite late but in reality im not sure think id be too happy lol.

It is tough, i think im over the worst feelings towards the whole situation now. ranting talking to my partner about it the past few days has helped and i did wallow in it a little bit.

Is it bad that i kind of relish in the fact that most of our family thinks its a terrible idea as their relationship is a bit shit really.

But anyway i must stop thinking about it!!!

It will all happen in our own times its not a competition... (im tryin to tell myself anyway lol)

Jauralane Wed 03-Apr-19 20:28:46

I know the feeling, I had a miscarriage in Nov 2017 and at the time there were 8 women in the same office as me either on mat leave or pregnant. It felt like every week someone was announcing their pregnancy or bringing their babies into visit. As silly as it sounds I really felt it was getting rubbed in my face!

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