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Unsure of babys father

(65 Posts)
Chojame123 Fri 29-Mar-19 05:28:00

I'm in desperate need for help and I have no one else to talk to.
I am currently 13 weeks and 2 days (ultrasound scan) or 12 weeks 2 day (gestational date). I've been told my due date is 02.10.19 the 1st day of my last period was 02.01.19 but I bleed for a shorter amount of days than usual.

I had sex with my partner 25.12.18 before last period then stupidly with another guy on 08.01.19 (I know)) please dont judge me).

I've had sex with my partner on 09.01.19 and everyday after that until the middle of the following week.

I've looked online with dates etc and what some people have said but it always keeps changing that it could be my partners or the other guy.bi really want it to be my partners so anything before 08.01.19 is preferable or after 12.01.19.

Please is anyone able to help I'd like to know this before it gets too late

YolandaVerranda Fri 29-Mar-19 10:01:55

Sweetheart the only way is a DNA test. Even if you have a 28 day cycle you might not ovulate exactly at 14 days.

Sperm can live inside your body for 5 days and due to the closeness of sleeping with the two men (no judgements here) it is too close a call.

What do you want for yourself and this baby going forward? As this was unplanned do you want to go through with this pregnancy? Do you want to give the baby up for adoption? Do you want to raise the baby yourself knowing that the father could be violent and have anger management issues? The baby could be used as an way to hurt you by the father.

How old are you? This isn't your only chance ever to have a baby unless you are in your 40s.

You also did a name change fail, your OP is a different name.

kaytee87 Fri 29-Mar-19 09:49:38

But as we've all said it's impossible to tell as you had sex with the other man within a day of your partner. No scan is going to be accurate enough to tell.

kaytee87 Fri 29-Mar-19 09:48:48

Oh alright. So dont believe the ultrasound scan... trust the gestational date?

What do you mean by gestational date? Your due date is roughly 38 weeks after you conceived. The scan will be as accurate as anything else.

Contraceptionismyfriend Fri 29-Mar-19 09:30:18

I wouldn't trust either as an absolute on this example. The child's health needs to be paramount. This means ensuring that you know who's genetic material and potential health issues are being passed on.
There is doubt so a DNA test is a must.

Jame1234 Fri 29-Mar-19 09:23:33

Oh alright. So dont believe the ultrasound scan... trust the gestational date?

Jame1234 Fri 29-Mar-19 08:52:08

My only option is DNA after birth

Contraceptionismyfriend Fri 29-Mar-19 08:51:50

You need to tell your partner and get a DNA test for the sale of the baby.

My due date is not spot on. I know because the day that the sonographer gave me as my date of conception my husband was away for a few days.

L0kiWh0 Fri 29-Mar-19 08:44:20

There is no way you got pregnant in December if you’re due in October.

There are 20 million to 100 million sperm in each ejaculation. It could be either mans baby. None of us can guess. Your dates of intercourse are too close together and both in your fertile week.

Jame1234 Fri 29-Mar-19 08:27:47

Oh no really why??

Even if it came pouring out???

why1stheRumgon3 Fri 29-Mar-19 08:25:50

Not what you want to hear but I thought foreign sperm would be more likely to get you pregnant, meaning not your partner. Could be either though. I hope it works out in your favour.

Jame1234 Fri 29-Mar-19 08:23:35

Oh ok probably.... it's just that's the 1st time it's happened that I've noticed it if that makes any sense...Yes we have both been tested and neither of us have anything

Jame1234 Fri 29-Mar-19 08:21:47

I could but it would be a tricky one... he would be pissed if he found out. But it would honestly put my mind at ease

kaytee87 Fri 29-Mar-19 08:19:54

I was told (please excuse the graphicness) that the more sperm(cum) that comes out of you the stronger chance you have of being pregnant is this true?? Because the other guy his (cum) came pouring out straight away.

Sounds like rubbish to me.

You probably had a bug at Christmas time, wouldn't read anything into that.
Around your fertile time you can get extra discharge, this can be in the days leading upto ovulation and can last several days.

Have you had an sti check?

Jame1234 Fri 29-Mar-19 08:19:25

I know and please believe I have thought about it booked 2 abortions especially after the last incident but I couldnt go through with it... so.ething about ending another life I just couldnt... I was so hysterical shaking crying all over the place

Jame1234 Fri 29-Mar-19 08:17:36

We both take regular test and have done so after the cheating on both sides... he had been doing so too.. and everything was fine negative I know I have to tell him and I will but I just dont want it to be I cheated and the baby isnt yours situation

cupoftea84 Fri 29-Mar-19 08:17:02

I know someone that had a dna test done by way of a blood test and a sample of one of the possible dads dna when she was pregnant. Don't know how much it cost her and might have been from abroad as I didn't know it was legal without the man knowing but apparently it was done.
Maybe something for you to look into, I assume you could get a sample of your partners dna. Have a think though how he would feel if he found out before you do it but that's a matter for you.

kaytee87 Fri 29-Mar-19 08:16:51

If he's been violent to you then in all honesty the best thing to do would be to have an abortion and get as far away from him as you can. Otherwise your future will be miserable.
Only my opinion though, it's your body.

Jame1234 Fri 29-Mar-19 08:16:12

I was told (please excuse the graphicness) that the more sperm(cum) that comes out of you the stronger chance you have of being pregnant is this true?? Because the other guy his (cum) came pouring out straight away.

Also excuse this but feel like I have to get in detail if it helps.... after Christmas day.. boxing day I got very sick like throwing up and doing the number 2 (sorry) for about 2-3 days but passed it off as something I ate and I honest that my downstairs got extremely (sorry) wetter

Jame1234 Fri 29-Mar-19 08:13:16

I wont lie there is strong g gear there.. like I said my pregnancy and situation has not been pleasant and he does have anger issues which he is working on but he has been violent during and before pregnancy so I know this will just be.... mad

Jame1234 Fri 29-Mar-19 08:11:49

But I know how it will end regardless if its his or not and it wont be good

TwittleBee Fri 29-Mar-19 08:11:39

I am so sorry that you are going through this btw, bloomin tricky situation. No advice on how to handle it either. It really could be either.

Jame1234 Fri 29-Mar-19 08:11:20

No he doesn't I haven't even plucked the courage to say anything

lovinglifexo Fri 29-Mar-19 08:11:02

you need to tell ur partner that’s youve cheated. You could be risking his health if you caught STDs from sleeping around.

You won’t know as the dates are so close together.

MyKingdomForBrie Fri 29-Mar-19 08:10:22

It's more likely to be your dp in terms of probability - you slept with him more often so more chances to conceive. I think it might be best to be honest with him (unless you're in any way scared of him) otherwise you'll spend the whole pregnancy stressing. flowers

MyKingdomForBrie Fri 29-Mar-19 08:08:42

There's no way to work it out from the dates, sorry. Does your partner know you slept with the other guy?

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